Even though I earlier said no excuses, from the comments on my blog, I do want to explain what's been going. The past 2 weeks of not smoking was relatively easy. I really thought I had it licked.
What's been going on for about the past 6 weeks is I have been physically ill. I have this severe fatique. After I am up, everyday, for 8 hours I feel as if I've been up for at least 24 hours with fuzzy headedness, bad headaches and nausea. I was between Drs. The last Dr. who would not take me seriously and the one I tried but, after waiting an hour after my scheduled apt. time, I got up and left.
Today I saw a recommended Dr. He seemed concerned and really listened to me. I told him I wanted to see an endocrinologist because I have all the symptoms of a hypothyroid yet the tests always come back normal. He took a ton of blood but did say following those results, I could see a specialist who does more testing.
Anyway, I felt so worn down and beat up that when I did get those bad cravings that wouldn't go away, I smoked. Telling myself the whole time that "smoking would not help the problem and, in fact, will only make it worse.
This is not fatigue from depression because I have not felt depressed until Sun. Feeling so bad for so long has just really got me down. I did call my psychiatrists office to explain that I might have some increased depression symptoms because of the drop in dopamine and see if she wants to increase my latuda. She will be back in the office tomorrow.
Still feel like crap but hopeful and ready to get back on the horse!