Go Panthers! I have to feel a little sorry for Packers though. They were shell shocked!
I don't think our rain is ever going to go away. That use to be cause for major depression but I think I'm finally stabilized (mood). I've had so many people tell me if I would quit drinking using my Higher Power and a 12 step program, and quit putting the poison from cigarettes in my lungs I would feel so much better and have a lot more energy. The evilness of tobacco is so insidious though, it takes years before we literally feel like we are dying and then the addiction is so bad, (the lies) we tell ourselves "well what's the use now, it's too late". Well I'm here to say I might have severe copd but your lies aren't taking me yet (nicotine not EXer's).
I have to admit I have literally fallen in love with all of you. You make me laugh and cry. I think of you throughout the day. It goes something like Well what would Dale say about this and how is Ellen feeling, What education would Thomas provide. I think about the newcomers and hoping their cravings aren't getting to them. I thank God that Candy isn't having cravings. I appreciate all the humor that Puff and others bring to us on a daily basis and all the support from Terrie, Jackie and Marilyn. And so much more. Okay you guys, enough of this! I am not a sappy person so I'm gonna stop now. (except I almost forgot Mike's message first thing every morning and everyone that works so hard on the freedom train. I could go on and on but you all know what everyone gives.
and reading blogs and comments. I was sick for a couple of days and in a funk but didn't smoke. That's a huge accomplishment for me. Usually when I start with the "stinkin thinkin" is when I breakdown and smoke but I am a nonsmoker so that is not an option. I am feeling better now and so glad I didn't smoke. It's ironic how for the last few yrs I have regretted every one I smoked but I have never regretted not smoking!
So if things go as expected, I should have a few good weeks before NML. I will start heavy preparation now as 2 mo. has usually been my breaking point. Well not this time. The more I read the more I learn. I am not a victim and I don't have to act like one by smoking.
Today I am grateful for pulmonary rehab. I have the opportunity to exercize 2x/week paid for by my insurance. I feel so good after I am done even though I have never been a big lover of exercize. After my program is over and insurance quits paying for it, I will have the opportunity to do maintenance for $35/mo. I can go 5 days/week if I want. It is surely helping my strength and endurance as well as my mental state.
I don't know about the home depot job yet. I still have to interview with the big boss. I'm not sure I want the job now as I will be working 6-10 p.m. 5 nights/week. It will interfere with time with my husband and meetings at my home group (AA). It's in God's hands. If I'm offered the job I will take it because we need the money for our move but I will be looking for another one. Whatever happens I will not smoke over it.
I don't feel a need to smoke because I have become convinced that it will only make things worse!
I try to spend a lot of time on here, my AA work and my work that my therapist gives me every week. Usually a couple of hours and yesterday I just couldn't do any of it. I'm still not smoking. In fact today is 2 weeks. Yay, heck week is over. But my day goes so much better when I can take that time to get my head screwed on straight. Plus I miss you guys when I don't get on here. I also want to be here to support everyone who is struggling and congratulate everyone on their milestones. I will work on doing a better job.
I have my interview today so I'm praying for a good outcome but I'm also stressed of how I'll find time to do everything, including my meetings and pulmonary rehab with a job. I'll just do the best I can and know that everything will work out. One thing I do know is smoking just takes up more time.
I just want to thank everyone for being here. Especially the elders that are really stable with their quits but keep coming back to help all of us.