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2015
constanceclum

Good morning everyone

Posted by constanceclum Sep 24, 2015

Day 2 is starting out better. Yes I'm having some morning cravings. This is normal. This is my body withdrawing from nicotine. This is an uncomfortable feeling that I'm oh so familiar with. Can I deal with it? YES!!!. I know in a couple of hours they will diminish and by afternoon, they will be very mild. This is my typical day 2. God gives me a little break from the more horrible day 1. Can you tell? I've been to this rodeo before. I'm almost afraid to say this is my forever quit. But today I will not smoke.

I am feeling physically better which increases my motivation to quit. I slept better last night than I have in quite awhile.

I am going to keep this short so I have time to do some readings. Early appt. for pulm. rehab., another great motivator as is staying busy which I am doing.

So I wish everyone a good, smoke-free day!

Connie

Yes I am back and I'm not even going to talk about my relapse except I feel like I'm getting sick. If I keep smoking I will surely end up in the hosp. However, this was my planned quit date anyway.

I will admit, it's not an easy morning but there are no cigs around and I don't have a car so I will deep breath, read blogs, play fb games and keep myself as distracted as I can.

Reading blogs this morning was so helpful for my attitude towards today anyway. All the good things that will come my way if I can get through NML. Even the good things that start happening today. Like $8.00 saved, my chest not feeling like an ashtray. I started pulm rehab yesterday and I think I will be able to do much better with the exercizes tomorrow than I did yesterday.

I would appreciate if anyone could send me the links to the readings. I haven't read for awhile so I want to start on that right away. I know how to get to Dale's and I'm going there right now.

I know it has got to be frustrating trying to help the same relapser over and over. I appreciate all the support I can get. I seem to have trouble @ 2 months. That is when I relapse so I want to read, read and read and not quit. In AA we never stop reading out of our big book. I need to put as much of myself into quitting smoking as I do AA.

Thanks everyone for being here,

Connie

constanceclum

Good morning all

Posted by constanceclum Sep 17, 2015

I might be up earlier than anyone this morning. I took Scott to work @ 3:30 as I have a Drs. appt. and decided to stay up. Sometimes it is so frustrating tossing and turning trying to get back to sleep. It's nice to get on here with my coffee while the rest of the world is sleeping.

Well today is the big day. I meet with the endocronologist and, hopefully, will find out more about this adrenal gland insufficiency. I have to admit, over the past few weeks, except for a few days, I have felt pretty good except for being extremely tired in the late afternoons and evenings and sleeping alot. 

I found a way to get some patches, thanks to a wonderful friend on this site and I am ever so grateful. What a wonderful place this is!

Connie

and I needed it after my meeting. 

I ran out of 21mg patches and have a 14mg patch on now. Definitly having more cravings. I have a couple more patches and about 70 4mg lozenges. Cravings with withdrawal are normal and I have had an easy 6 days so far so maybe it's time to just use what I have. Any advice would be appreciated.  I can get through this morning with the computer and a noon meeting and I'm usually more comfortable in the afternoon and evening. Finances are such an issue right now too as we are preparing to move. (too buy patches)

Yes Landlord sold the property and we will need to move in the Spring. Right now I'm doing more praying about that and less worrying (as my sponser suggested) but we're putting as much money in the bank as possible.

I love getting on here in the morning with my coffee and reading blogs. I am missing a few people that aren't blogging as much as they use to but I understand that life issues pop up for everyone. I just hope everyone is doing well and staying smoke free.

constanceclum

Day 6

Posted by constanceclum Sep 15, 2015

and I think day 8 for alcohol. This really hasn't been as hard as when I smoke for several months and then try to quit again. My AA supporter is working with me for alcohol and smoking. She just wants me to call her before I smoke just as I would for alcohol.

Went to pulmonary rehab today and the girls were all happy to see me and that I am not  smoking. I am just "giddy" to be working on my strength and endurance as well as meeting people who have the same disease and goals as I do.

Now I go to P.R. 2x/week, AA meetings 5x/week, therapy 1x/week and Drs. appts here and there. Plus I spend time on nutrition. There is always so much to learn. I've lost 15# but not 1 inch on my abdomen. What's that all about.?

Hoping everyone is having a great tuesday!!

Connie

constanceclum

Hey everyone!

Posted by constanceclum Sep 14, 2015

Too busy to get on here yesterday but it was a good day. Scott reminded me of Marilyn's husband by make us a big breakfast. Then it was laundry time and then football. We are both happy with Dophin win for him and Panther's for me.

I started reading a alittle more about this adrenal insufficiency and it is normal to have some day's that I just don't feel good and those are huge triggers for me. I think I get comfort from smoking like people get comfort from food. From what I have read this is probably Addison's disease which would probably also be caused by the steroid's I have been on from copd excasperations. I can still get so angry at myself for doing this to myself. Anyway, I see my endocronologist on Thurs. and I will learn a lot more about what to expect.

Anyway, I am feeling pretty good today and that's what we do. Take advantage of the good day's and get through the bad as well as we can. I am tired though and I've been sleeping a lot.

Wish everyone a great Mon. and hoping no one picks up the evil things.

Connie

constanceclum

day 3

Posted by constanceclum Sep 12, 2015

I just can't wake up today. There were things I wanted to do and things I need to do and I just can't get up and do them.

Not smoking is going well but the way I feel today is bringing on a "want" for one. I guess I always used cigs like we have comfort foods. I think I'll force myself to go to the grocery store and then take a nap.

Thanks everyone for sharing your blogs. They help so much to keep me at least from smoking.

Connie

constanceclum

Day 2

Posted by constanceclum Sep 11, 2015

I am so grateful to have this site to come to with my coffee in the morning. My sleep schedule is so off. Some mornings I sleep to 8. This morning I got up @ 4:45 but I feel a nap coming on.

I know it's a God shot but I seem to be right back to where I was @ my 2 mo. point before I relapsed a couple of weeks ago. There are long periods of time where I don't even think about smoking and the cravings have been mild. CAUTION: I do not recommend anyone to relapse based on that because that certainly is not how it's been in the past. I have very serious health reasons to not smoke and I have built strong relationships on this site through using this site for so long and I am building a strong relationship with God.

As always, wishing all of you a good smoke free day!

Connie

constanceclum

new day 1

Posted by constanceclum Sep 10, 2015

and I know it will be a day won. I am feeling stronger both physically and mentally with new medication. I have been going to lots of AA meetings over the past few days and haven't had a drink since Mon. I don't feel the need for one. I have more confidence when I feel strong and not sick.

Connie

I know why I'm having trouble getting back on the train and I know it's nothing but an excuse. The "not feeling good and now with the new diagnosis of adrenal gland insufficieny I start drinking. Alcohol makes me "feel better" and then comes the smoking. I am not beating myself up over. I'm just setting a new quit date of 9/8 which is after the holiday. I will continue to come here daily to read, but I won't blog until I get some quit time behind me. I don't think my journey at this point is good for the newcomers.

I appreciate any prayers you may still have for me after all these relapses, and ask that you don't give up on me. After getting on the right steroids I am starting to feel stronger.

Connie

Yesterday was okay. Not craving too bad and so far this morning not too bad either. I went to behavioral health ER and got started on some new meds. I was in the very pit of depression and anxiety The meds I am on do not take weeks to start working. Today I see my primary Dr. as follow up from being in the hospital. It will be good to know if I have Addison's disease and will I always have to take these steroids. I still feel very weak and my cordination is off. I stumble around like a drunk person so I will have my sodium level rechecked. It's weird to think I have a disease caused by steroids and treated with other steroids.

I keep telling myself that smoking will not help any of this. In fact, for me, it brings a whole new set of problems. 

I pray that everyone of my friends here has a great day!

Connie

constanceclum

day 2

Posted by constanceclum Sep 1, 2015

I'm so glad I have a place to come while drinking my coffee. Normally I would have smoked about 5 cigarettes already. I will say that those of you who think "if I just smoke a day or two, I'll be able to jump right back on that horse and nothing will have changed" That is the wrong answer. I am craving a cigarette just like I did when I quit 2 mo. ago. There is a reason everyone says NOPE around here because even 1 puff wakes up the demon.

I hope everyone has a good smoke-free day

Connie