Just want to let everyone know what's been going on. For those that don't know I have had very hard to deal with symptoms. Brain blanking out, very weak, trouble with conversations (not able to find or use the right words) and just too many more to go into right now.

On Sun. I was having the same symptoms but also had heart palpitations and pressure so I went to the ER and I just got home yesterday. Apparently my glands that regulate electrolytes and water is not working. Last mo. my Calcium was high and now my sodium was extremely low, causing all my symptoms. That is due to my inhalers with steroids and now the fix is taking more, but different, steroids.

My complete inability to sleep more that 4-5 hours, I think, was do to anxiety. I am going to fess up and state when I got home I drank about 3 beers and smoked 2 cigarettes. I have no excuse. I certainly told myself over and over that  a cig would not make anything better and it didn't. So I am resetting my quit day untill today. Taking all prayers that anyone has too offer

love to all

Connie

and thrilled that you are all here. It's been pretty uneventful for me and the craves/urges/thoughts I now can push out of my head while doing deep breathing. They only last a couple of minutes now. 

I don't remember if I blogged before about us moving. The rumor was that the landlord had sold the property and I know it has been for sale since we moved in 5 yrs. ago. I don't see where it has been sold online but we are still going to move. This place is very old (since the 40's) and as far as I can tell, has never been rehabed. There is mold under the building which is not good for anyone but especially for people with lung disease. Anyway, I feel not so pressured and can save some money (it's so expensive) plus the deposit for my cats. I hope to be moved by winter.

It is, for me and everyone on this site, one thing after the other with this thing we call life but a cig. does not help anything.

Connie 

Yes, it seems like 6mo but a lot as happened since then. including quitting drinking. Most expert say to not do both at the same time but my lungs have reached a severe level of damage and I know I couldn't (like most people) quit smoking while drinking. And I'm not going to take up any more time talking about the pneumonia I got. I'm better now. I'm going to mention a few good things: O2 saturation-98% at rest, was 93% prior to quitting smoking, pulse in the 80's as opposed to over 100 when I was smoking and blood pressure well I'm having it checked today after my Dr. discontinued my BP meds 3-4 weeks ago because it was so low. I will never ride a bike, swim, or play tennis again but I am pleasantly surprised at what I can do like, I can talk to a friend while walking without getting so short of breath I have to stop, I can shop, eat out, go to AA meetings and so much more. I will be able to tolerate more after I complete pulmonary rehab. What I'm saying is it is never too late to quit and have a good quality too your life. And so many improvements like taste and smell.

Now it's time for NML but I am prepared and, because of  my God, my friends on EX and my willingness, I will make it.

Connie

As far as physically "feeling" like I am going to die if I don't get a cigarette, I am having the best morning yet since I took the patches off 2 weeks ago. My experience during this journey has been the first couple of weeks reminded me of hard labor (childbirth) where the craving, like a contraction, would get so strong it engulfed my whole body. It did lighten up a bit but that feeling of the "emptiness", which felt like my air and I would die if I didn't get some has been pretty strong in the morning for the past couple of weeks. This morning I feel completely neutral. I'm hoping I'll have a couple of easy(ier) weeks before NML. I'm also hoping no one rains on my parade because this isn't my 1st rodeo and I'm prepared for anything. I think I'd kill my husband before I picked up a cig. Don't turn me in I'm just kidding. I can keep him alive and NOPE at the same time.

Hope everyone is enjoying your w/e so far. I know I am

Connie

I have through a whole bipolar's set of emotions reading blogs this morning. I can't decide if someone was truly wanting to play arm chair psychologist or an excuse to leave and smoke. I know if I was reading those blogs at the time (my computer was being worked on and I guess I missed some blogs) I would have blown a gasket. I give our elders a lot more credit, I believe you have thicker skin than you were given credit for. I believe you are aware of the raw emotions a newbie is going through when they don't want to "hear" the tough love. Tough love works for some and not so much for others. But I know now I had to change my thinking and Dale did that for me. I'm quite sure my comments at the time didn't "hurt his feelings".

Enough of that. My Drs. nurse called yesterday and I was (like today) feeling quite a bit better. Still some fuzzy-headedness but I haven't been sleeping well either. I think my symptoms were from the meds and it has taken some time for them to get out of my blood system. Anyway, My Dr. is on vacation and she just told me to call back if they get worse. She said she was having a conversation with an intelligent women and could see no problems. Haha what does she know.

I am looking forward to an awesome smoke free weekend for all of us!

Connie

I haven't been here for a day or 2. A friend of ours has been cleaning this computer and updating it to windows 10-for free. How cool is that? We have known him for 9 yrs and it's the barter system. He doesn't drive so we give him rides when he needs one. He still only charges $50.00 to fix and upgrade for anyone living in or around Charlotte.

What I want to share about my quit and what I think now. I have "quit" 3 times in a little over 6 weeks because I chose to use patches. I can't tell if they "take the edge off" or not. I had a horrible time starting at 21mg, another horrible time when I went to 14 mg. and now that I am off all patches, the horrible cravings are/were back. I will never have to quit again, but if I did, it would be "smart turkey" all the way.

I still have the symptoms of fuzzy headedness, hard time in a conversation as far as finding words or completely saying the wrong word and not pronouncing it right. I'm not cordinated with walking and I stumbled as if I were drunk a few times. To be honest I'm not sure what is nicotine withdrawls and what could be very serious. I'm not sure what discipline this falls under, my Psychiatrist or Neurologist. So I called and left a message for my primary Drs. nurse to call me back

Connie

I am feeling better this morning. Tomorrow will be 1 week off the 14mg patch so I guess I will be going into heck weak. When I quit in the fall (after 2mo. of being on 21mg patch) I relapsed. I can't remember when I wrote a blog about it saying I wasn't prepared for the strong cravings, I got a reply asking why in the world would I not be prepared. I felt like an idiot. After all the eductaion and advice I got on here, why would I not be prepared. Well now I am prepared and I didn't smoke. I give all the credit to yoyou guys and God.

Cogentin is a parkinson's med. A few years ago I was on abilify for a long time and got tremors so bad I needed both hands to eat. My Dr. sent me to a neurologist to rule out parkinsons which, after a year of follow-up she did and concluded they were because of abilify. The Dr. I saw in the clinic was not my regular Dr and will not become my reg as I have requested a new one (just for a different perspective) I wanted to go back on abilify (it is not as sedating as some of my other meds I've been on with the med I was put on by the neurologist) She had at 1st put me on cogentin but it gave me the same symptoms I am having now. I told the Dr. about it and he said he didn't think the low dose of abilify that I am on would cause tremors.

Having so many Drs. and being on so many meds causes so many problems. If I'm not better by Mon. I will call my Dr. but I am already feeling better and totally prepared for heck week.

I was up early to take Scott to work. I needed the car to go to blood pressure clinic to check it after being off meds for 2-3 weeks.

I didn't have that feeling of wanting to kill him for his cigs this morning. I really love these days. I did a dangerous thing in stopping my patches early. I kept forgetting to change them and I was comfortable so I did the experiment of seeing how well I would do without them. I still had some in case of an emergency. Well after the 1st couple of days it was like going through hell week all over again but I didn't (I'm really hard headed) put a patch back on. I live on NOPE, I don't do that anymore and I never want to go through another hell week again. I don't believe I have another quit in me. I think today will be a good one. Or come hell or high water, I'll make it one.

So my friends in freedom, wishing all of you a very good Mon. if there is such a thing

Connie

I just want to say that I am not smoking today. I reset my clock. My answer to the question of why or what happened is my total belief in halt. I have been exhausted the past mo. not sleeping well at all. I had no idea what was wrong with me which caused major anxiety and I still don't really know the answer as to what now.

I know there are no excuses but I certainly haven't been myself. Apparently the low sodium has affected my brain and my thinking, speaking balance and severe fatigue have got the best of me.

Connie

I just wanted to let everyone know, that as hard as yesterday was,, I did not smoke. Today is much better. Usually, when I have days with cravings that bad, I can tell myself that tomorro will be much better. It really does seem to work that way. 

Have to go now Dinner time

Connie