I have always been told in AA that terminal uniqueness will put you in an early grave. I'm not really unique, but I have learned some things in my 56 yrs. of living, my own personal experiences. Everyone who knows me, knows I'm a little chatty so bear with me.
I can't believe I haven't blogged for 9 days, but I have been on here reading blogs and comments, especially to the ones who have relapsed.
I smoked for 43 yrs. I was 1st diagnoses with copd 5-6 yrs. ago Except for the occasional bout of bronchitis, I didn't feel to bad and I kept smoking. Now I know that every bout of bronchitis deteriorates your lungs. A lot of what I've learned has not been from Drs. but on this site after my copd became end stage. People always asked my what my numbers were after having pulmonary function tests, I never knew. The way I found out I had end stage copd was from my discharge papers from my visit to the ER for something completely unrelated. When I asked my pulmonologist why that was how I found out about my diagnosis he said well you kept smoking. Not what I asked him. I know that if you keep smoking you will get more severe copd. I believed I should have always known what my numbers were with education on how to take care of myself. No insult to Thomas but it's pretty sad when I get my info from him rather than my docs.
I have tried to quit smoking for decades, not seriously though. I always thought I had time. Now it's a matter of life or death for me. I'm 8 weeks quit and I am short of breath while resting. Yes people tell me it will get better with time but I know, at 56 there is no more physical activity for me. I would love to go to the mountains and hike but I don't see that as happening.
The lies of addiction:
I was an RN at Cancer Treatment Centers of America from 1988 to 1992. I watched people die of lung cancer but thought that will not happen to me.
In 1993 I watched my mom die of copd at 58 yrs. old. I am now 56. For those who don't know there is a genetic component to copd which affects people at an earlier age. I still didn't think it would happen to me.
With diagnosis of copd I kept smoking, in denial thinking it would not happen to me.
I just hope I can help even 1 person reading about my journey to make the decision to quit or not relapse.
Love to all of you
Connie
