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2014
constanceclum

Day 2 again

Posted by constanceclum May 27, 2014

and it's tough but doable. I am starting back to a strong AA program with a new sponcer whether my husband likes it or not. I will go to church every Sun. because I believe, with enough Faith, God can do anything. I know that relapse/smoking is a choice not a requirement and I will, on a daily basis, remind myself of this. Even with relapse with alcohol people in AA realize that all we really have is today and everyone has the potential to relapse. Of course the more sobriety time one has, the less likely this is to happen. For the next 24 hours I will not smoke. When I wake up in the morning, I will pray for God's strenth and I will get on this site.

Thanks for all your words of wisdom,

Connie

constanceclum

relapse

Posted by constanceclum May 26, 2014

I will not worry about as long as I keep getting back in the saddle. I took some puffs this w/e. I let boredom and my husband deter me from my goal. I was pretty much stuck in this very small apt with him drinking and smoking and every minute felt like an hour. I am now going through the cravings that I thought were behind me. 

All I have is today and today I will not smoke! I will go to daily AA meetings and church. I will not let him control me. I will protect my quit at all costs.

Thank you ones that realize that relapse can sometimes be part of the process.

Connie

constanceclum

rough beginning

Posted by constanceclum May 24, 2014

Today is the start of day 5 and I am feeling much better. The 1st 3 days were horrible! Not only was I really craving, but I wasn't sleeping. Exhaustion is a huge trigger for me. I felt so bad I wasn't even able to write a blog, didn't feel safte driving, wanted to stay busy, but I couldn't focus on anything. However, now I'm through the worst of the bad.

I'm using the patch but I don't think it's helping and after I finish my current box, I think I have about 10 left, I will finish the box of 14mg and then I'm done with patches. I'm just not going to waste my money on something that just keeps me addicted and doesn't really give my any relief. My Dr. actually said they are recommending staying on 21mg for 6 mo. What a lie to make money. Not my Dr. but the pharmaceutical co. If nicotine is completely out of your system in just a few weeks then this really makes not sense.

Just want to tell all newbies, if you're having a rough time the 1st few days, just persevere and stay on this site. You can get through it

Connie

constanceclum

Day 2

Posted by constanceclum May 21, 2014

Is a little easier. Just waves of cravings this morning where yesterday morning for 4 hrs I really suffered. I am questioning whether I wany to even continue with the patch after 3 days. It seems like I will just continue to put nicotine in my body when I can just go through another 3 days and be completely free and save the money. I don't want to risk smoking so I would appreciate anyone's opinion on this.

My husband said last night that he knew his smoking is a trigger for me but it really didn't seem to bother me. Like I have been able to quit drinking in spite of his drinking. I am responsible for myself and with Gods help and strength and all of you, I can do this. He has his own God.

Hoping everyone has a great smoke-free day!

Connie

constanceclum

Quit date is here

Posted by constanceclum May 20, 2014

Yea!!!! Yes I am having cravings. Mornings alway have been the worst for me. But I have not had one coughing episode yet. I am deep breathing which usually sets off a huge coughing episode. I am so encouraged by all my friends that were here last time I tried to quit in Jan or Feb. Your still here and not smoking! What a miracle! What an inspiration. I hate that my previous quit was not successful but the important thing is I learned what not to do. Primarily there is always stress in everyone's life. I learned not to allow any extra stress that I can controll in my life. I have learned to set boundaries and not put someone else ahead of my own sobriety both with alcohol and cigs. If I drink, I will smoke.

Love to all my friends and family

Connie

constanceclum

My comments

Posted by constanceclum May 19, 2014

I am wondering why just some of my comments on blogs seem to be showing up twice. Is this just on my computer? It never happened when I used this site before.

constanceclum

last day of sickorettes

Posted by constanceclum May 19, 2014

and I'm only having a few. I'm adapting well to getting through cravings. However, I'm also a realist and I am expecting the next 3 days to be difficult. They always have been which is why I want to kick myself for giving in and smoking.

I am so impressed with the newbies. I read their blogs and comments and how inspirational. They are perseviring with courage and strenth that is boiling over to me. I am excited about tomorrow and feel strong. My husband still smokes and I have to do this in spite of him.

Before I got the results of my pet/cat scan I felt like I was living on borrowed time. Now I appreciate life in a new way and want to protect it as well as I can.

Love to you all

Connie

constanceclum

Hi everyone!

Posted by constanceclum May 18, 2014

I am here to say that I have cut downs on the nast cigs the past few days and it hasn't helped much with breathing/coughing. 1 more day with more of a cut back and then on to my forever quit!

constanceclum

Hi everyone!

Posted by constanceclum May 15, 2014

Great news from the Dr. yesterday, my nodule hasn't grown in the past 2 mo. and I will repeat it in 8 mos. The past 2 mo. since my ct. scan have been hard, made harder because I was smoking like a fiend. Now between the copd and the nodule I am even more aware of how necessary it is for me to quit to live but also to feel better.

I am starting today to cut down to 6/day. This from 11/2 packs/day so I am craving but I have learned that it helps psycologically to learn how to deal with the urges before my actual quit (5/20).

Have a great day ex family!

Connie

I thought since I just came back to this site yesterday and my knew quit date is 5/20 it might be good to explain what happened to my last quit. Very simply I put someone else ahead of my sobriety with both alcohol and smoking. My good friend since childhood became very seriously ill mentally and had to be hospitalized. They had also discovered a small noduly and several spots on my lung. All of this happened @ the same time as my Dad's first anniversary of his suicide. I did the worste thing I could do which was drink alcohol while attempting to quit smoking. I then decided to bring my friend to my house. She chain smoked My husband chain smoked and I quit praying and meditating. All my resolve was gone. However I'm the one with advanced copd and nodules/spots on my lung. I go to the Dr. tomorrow for the results of my pet/cat scan and I know that my health and my quit are my responsibility! I am just so glad that like AA I have a place to come back to for support, inspiration, and education.

Love to all of you,

Connie

constanceclum

glad to be back

Posted by constanceclum May 12, 2014

Hi everyone! I have been gone for a couple of months and smoking like a fiend. I now want to quit more than ever-new date is5/20. I plan to use this time to review readings and reading your blogs. You all were such an inspiration to me that I can't imagine quitting without using this site. Have to go for now-almost dinner time

Connie