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bonnie.s Blog

14 posts

Bored and sick

Posted by bonnie.s May 5, 2017

So it's a little after 4:30 am here on the east coast.  I've been on this site since 3 reading post.  I couldn't sleep.  I have such a bad sore throat and runny nose with a slight headache.  I'm thinking strep.  Guess running around in flip flops when it's dropped back into the 50's here the past few days wasn't smart   I've enjoyed catching up on all the post here.  This site is great.  Being sick stinks but at least I'm not adding to it by smoking. 


Day 57

Posted by bonnie.s Mar 26, 2017

57 days.  WOW!  I can't believe I have finally, after numerous tries, made it this far.  I'm feeling great.  I did notice yesterday some shortness of breath out of nowhere.  Maybe just a chest cold setting in, I'll keep watch.  Cravings are few and far between but strong when they do come.  I've had several dreams where I smoke in my dreams, not sure what's going on there.  I've been spending my days staying as busy as possible.  Working on eating more healthy and I guess it's time to add some exercise to my schedule and get some of these extra pounds off that I added during my quit.  Since I stopped smoking I've been really wanting to improve my overall health.  Total package.  Been researching these so called "super foods" , their benefits and ways to cook them.  It's funny how stopping has made me more aware of everything.  Before it was a cig and a coke and McDonalds and didn't think twice about it.  Now I get just as upset when I see people packing into the drive thru as I do seeing them smoke.  Let's just hope I continue to think this way the rest of my life.  I never want to go back.


Random Babble

Posted by bonnie.s Feb 21, 2017

Hello everyone,


Coming up on 24 days at 7:25 pm.   Yes .   I've been focused on an all around healthy lifestyle change for both myself and husband.  He is a truck driver.  Out for weeks at a time.  Stuck in a truck 24/7 most of the time and a former heavy smoker, he quit the day after me!  We have both quit plenty in the past, a week here and there.  What made me so serious about changing this time was waking up in the middle of the night about a month ago and hearing him wheeze.  It was the scariest thing I think I've ever heard.  A real wake up call.   Think about it.  Between smoking, greasy truck stop food, lack of exercise how long before disaster strikes?  Myself as well.  I went from a very active lifestyle to working from home where I sit at my home office desk most of the day without a lot of physical activity.  Smoking as much and often as I wanted.  I was my own boss now, nobody to answer to.  Yep, I could light up anytime I wanted, and I wanted a lot!  Didn't take long to notice the negative changes.  I had no energy, I was grouchy, nothing really made me happy outside of my pall malls. I stopped doing the things I once enjoyed because smoking wasn't welcome. You know in the back of your mind the slave you have become to this sickness yet you don't care because you enjoy it so much.  Yes I did!  I enjoyed smoking!  I would lie if I said otherwise.  If it were not killing me I would have never stopped.  Some might not agree but that's how I feel about it.  That's how I felt about it!   I think now I'm slowing learning to enjoy life without pall mall.  Smoothies are becoming my new friend.  I've really enjoyed researching healthy lifestyle tips lately.  I need to find some better recipes though because this smoothie I'm sipping now as I type is hard to swallow.  Yes,  I think smoothie is a much better friend than pall mall ever was.


It's not me!

Posted by bonnie.s Feb 14, 2017

Day 17 of being smoke free occurs at 7:25 tonight.  Still mentally a smoker.  I know this because while shopping earlier every time someone walked past me and coughed or cleared their throat, right away I felt ashamed of stinking.  It would take a few seconds for me to say to myself "it's not you, you don't smoke, you don't smell".  Cravings are getting easier though my desire to smoke is not.  I know its silly but things as simple as going to the stores where I use to get my smokes and not asking for any can feel wrong, depressing!  I also find my scale wanting to be a comedian this past week. Healthy foods.


bonnie.s Archived Profile

Posted by bonnie.s Jan 23, 2017




I've smoked for 20 yrs atleast a pack a day sometimes 2.  My stop date was 1/12/16.  So far so good but worrried still because I've stopped many, many times in the past and one stressful event and its all over!  I'm using the patch and so far its really helping even though I'm having some bouts with cravings here and there.  I'm doing this not only for myself but my children as well.

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It's been months

Posted by bonnie.s Apr 30, 2016

I went away because I couldn't stop and felt ashamed.  I wasn't going to post anymore because I didn't want any negative feedback but I see a few others that started around the same time as me have been struggling as well.  Anyhow I'm going keep trying until I get it right, no matter how many times that may be!



Posted by bonnie.s Feb 3, 2016

My stomach pain got worse and I saw my dr.  An ultrasound showed nothing but my labs came back with an elevated white blood cell count.  I'm now set up to have a CT done and my dr thinks I may have scar tissue from my surgery last year.  Also I talked with him about smoking and how I do great for a few days then smoke, then go a few more, then smoke again.  He wrote me a RX for Zyban (I didnt do well on Chantix).  I started that today and I have reset my quit date to give it time to build up in my system.  I'll keep everyone posted.


a quick check in

Posted by bonnie.s Jan 28, 2016

I've done pretty good with cravings today however my problem was hunger :(  Drinking water and cutting up oranges. Some stomach cramps still but I'm gonna give it till Monday before calling the dr.  My mood has been very peaceful today.  I think I was more stressed and angry when I smoked all day long :)  Hope everyone is well!!! /



Posted by bonnie.s Jan 27, 2016

Starting last night I've been getting really bad cramps in my stomach, I'm talking the kind that make you stop and double over.  They dont last long and come and go every few hours.  I've had no bathroom troubles so thats not it.  Is this just part of the withdraws or maybe even from the fact that I did have some slips?  Could it be a side affect from the patch?  I sure hope they stop soon :(


Dusting myself off

Posted by bonnie.s Jan 25, 2016

So its the first 24 hrs after my slip and I'm having some withdraws but not so bad and I know I deserve the torture because I did it to myself!  So I've been spending all morning cleaning and looking into getting healthy all around.  I've looked into clean eating and yoga (been great keeping my mind off smoking).  I saw some adds for meds that claim to completely cleanse the body off all nicotine in just 2 days, anyone tried any herbal remedies such as licorice root??  Anyone else excitied to get healthy in more ways than just stopping smoking?  One thing I thought about this morning was my slip.  I need a better plan in place for my husbands smoking the next time he comes in so I dont fall back into the same trap.  I know I will be blogging more (sorry in advance lol) because doing so and interacting with you guys really helps me :)  I almost forgot in my ramble that last week while at my drs and not smoking for several days my blood pressure was down from 140 to 128 and I was so pleased.  Sorry all this is so jumbled I just feel a great charge of energy today.


Moving forward

Posted by bonnie.s Jan 24, 2016

Hello Everyone,


Well I'm snowed in here and bored so thought I'd give an update on myself.  My husband is a trucker and a smoker :(  he's out on the roads alot but due to the weather alot of loads got canceled so I had him home with me for the past 3 days.  I was doing great until he came home.  We do not smoke inside our house ever!  But just him coming in and out and me smelling him I did have several slips :(  He left back out this morning and I am determined to get back on track.  I can say that I was feeling so good health wise for those days I didn't smoke and just the few slips I did have I can feel the difference and I dont like it one bit.  Patch back on and no more giving in!!!!!


When will it end??

Posted by bonnie.s Jan 19, 2016

Been a week and I'm still struggling with cravings and mood swings :(  the only way i kept myself from giving in last night, this might sound horrible, was by viewing the "tips from former smokers" site.  I've exercised, drank plenty of water idk but the struggle is real!!!  My addiciton was a bad one.


Almost a week smoke free :)

Posted by bonnie.s Jan 18, 2016

The cravings are pretty much over for the most part, now its just more like I miss doing it!!  I stopped using the patch at day 3 (just wanted all nicotine gone from my system).  I have been very tired and lightheaded and I hope that will end soon as it is not a good feeling to think I'm going to pass out several times a day :(


Hello to all

Posted by bonnie.s Jan 13, 2016

I'm Bonnie.  I had my last smoke at 4pm yesterday.  I have a patch on and so far so good, some intense moments here and there but not too bad so far.  I have smoked for a little over 20 years and have stopped at least 10 times or more but always end up right back to smoking.  Really want this time to be my last thats why in addition to the patch I'm here looking for support from fellow smokers (ex smokers).