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Creeping up on day 2

alysonoholic
Member
2 2 95

I decided I was going into self-imposed lockdown this weekend for the first few days of my quit, to avoid temptations and triggers. Although I've basically spent the majority of my weekend binge-watching Harlots and American Vandal with spurts of cleaning in between, so far I'm feeling...alright. I'm definitely starting to smell things again so, of course, food is even more tempting than usual. 

I had noticed, even before I quit, that because of the Wellbutrin I was feeling less compelled to smoke, in general. Unfortunately, I also had crazy anxiety for the first few weeks but things have settled down for the time being so I'm hoping it will continue to do both of the jobs it was intended to do. 

I also spent some time recently on a popular quit smoking app with a pretty big community but quickly realized that they are nothing like you amazing people here. I'm seriously so glad to be back and happy to have your support again. 

I am a little concerned about returning to work tomorrow - I used to smoke sooo many cigs while I was putting on my makeup in the morning, not to mention the one I would smoke as soon as I got out of bed, before I even took a shower. I'm getting straight in the shower tomorrow morning and I suppose I could use my breaks to continue my ASL course but I think I see a lot of gum chewing in my immediate future. 

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This is actually my third wind on becomeanex.org - in February 2013 I quit for over 6 months before relapsing and realizing I was going to have to start all over again. And then that happened again. So, I'm back here to get at it. I've tried quitting so many times now it's not even that funny. I had basically been smoking since I was 13 (so, 25 years now) and was tired of letting something so stupid and expensive run my life to the extent that it did. In general, I am a pretty healthy person. I work out regularly, I eat well most of the time..it just seemed ridiculous to keep subjecting myself to being stinky and ultimately sick. I know cigarettes don't actually bring anything positive to my life, it was just hard to think of a future that didn't include the habits I had built around them. But now that I am 38 I am determined to live a healthy, well-balanced life and take more time to enjoy my home, my friends, my 2 cats, my city and a life free of cigarettes.