I didn't intend to give myself away to addiction. It started so small - just an experiment to keep up with my then girlfriend. I liked her so much - but not the smell so I thought I'd go with the saying "if you can't beat them, join them!" I'm so glad we don't say that any more! It's just plain dumb! Be yourself - hang onto yourself! You're the only you on the planet and that's Special!
So the first thing I gave up on were my Values - prior, I had been against smoking! Then I gave up on my honesty - "If nobody knows, it doesn't count!" Soon I gave up on my - Self! I chose to become a smoker and kept smoking for the next 20 - yes, two zero - Years - long after the girl was history!
Do I regret it? I don't believe in regret - it keeps you trapped in the past. But I faced my Fear and quit. Thank You, Lord! Because quitting is not just quitting it is Recovery - it's not about what you lose - it's all about what you gain - your true, Self - your integrity! The unique YOU that you were meant to be!
I got my honesty back and then my values and then my Self! I have become each day of this beautiful Recovery Journey more and more of the ME that doesn't sacrifice his heart, mind, soul, and body to Addiction!
I continue to grow into the Best Thomas I can become! Why do you suppose they say, "Become an EX!" it means become the Real God given YOU! IT's worth every blood, sweat and tears - LIFE!