Smokers' common thread: They all want to quit

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Mom and Dad somehow managed to stay married for 49 years, largely because they had an understanding:

Dad handled all the big decisions.

Mom handled all the little ones.

Amazingly, in those 49 years, not one big decision ever came up.

(Writer's full disclosure: The framework for this lead basically was pilfered from a story John Gagliardi has been telling for decades about his own marriage, which is at 59 years and counting.)

Along the way, one of the biggest of those little decisions Mom made was this — Dad had tight restrictions on where he was allowed to smoke inside the house.

There were no negotiations on this. Mom was a lifelong nonsmoker who detested the "stinky habit" Dad had picked up while in the Navy during the Korean War.

His smoking was restricted to two rooms. One was his "office," which basically was a 5-by-8-foot closet that had been walled off in a back corner of the laundry room.

Contents included a desk and chair, shelves lined with income tax books (dad was an accountant) and cartoons making fun of the Air Force (his employer), cartons of Salem cigarettes and an ash tray — which was exactly what everything in the room smelled like.

Smoking also was allowed in the adjoining TV room. But there was a caveat: Dad was allowed to smoke only if he used the battery-operated ashtray that sucked up the cigarette smoke.

Fearing the consequences, he used it faithfully. He didn't like it much, and grumbled about it frequently. But the decision had been made, and there was only one other option — quitting.

In the mid-1990s, Dad finally did. It took a while, and it wasn't easy, but he retired his Salems and battery-operated ash tray.

Countless smokers know exactly how difficult this is.

Millions have succeeded, but usually only after an array of failures.

It's the hardest thing a lot of people have ever done. We chronicled one of them — Melissa Nelson of Waite Park — in a story last week.

Today, we're giving other smokers who've quit — and some who haven't — the chance to tell their stories.

Some might sound awfully familiar:

•"I don't know that there is a blanket cure to quit. My advice is not to start." — Gillian Beumer

•"I quit in 2000. I don't recommend my method of quitting, however, because it started with bronchitis.

"For several months after quitting you crave cigarettes. The intensity of that craving doesn't wane, but the frequency and duration of the craving becomes smaller. Eventually, there is no craving. I haven't wanted a cigarette in a very, very long time." — Muggsy Lauer

•"One day I was watching the news and saw a tobacco industry spokesperson deny that cigarettes caused lung cancer. He implied that it was people's genetics that caused cancer.

"I was so angry at such a blatant lie that I quit that day. I didn't smoke again until 8 years later." — Bill Jones

•"James Sabyan and his brother got hypnotized to quit. (There was a bet involved with it). Not sure if it was the hypnosis or the loss of money on a bet that kept them both non-smoking for that year." — Lisa Sabyan (James's spouse)

•"I quit for 21/2 years. All I can say is never ever let the monkey out the cage once he's there." — Randy Negaard

•"Countless times I quit, but self-control wore me down each time. Then I fell for a woman and somehow she convinced me to quit. Suddenly, quitting became near effortless." — Ted Sherarts

•"I quit in 2001. I was sick of it and the stink and quit cold turkey. Never looked back. So I guess it was easy for me.

"The fact my mother had just had a stroke, then developed COPD — that maybe was a good reason, too. She smoked for over 50 years." — Debbie Still Copa

"Quit often. (An) acupuncturist once said to me, 'Some people will never quit smoking.'

"Well, my last cigarette was many years ago, so I guess he was wrong about me." —Amy Becker LaFrance

•"When I was in fifth grade, me and a friend found a pack of Salem Menthols under a vending machine. We went behind some trees down by the river and shared one of them.

"The taste was horrible! I couldn't get it out of my mouth for hours. That was my first and last cigarette. Never smoked again." — Mark Hasbrouck

•"Having a plan to deal with the cravings worked for me, but is harder when those cravings come after years of being clean. They sneak up when you are least prepared. And then it's a potential relapse, depending on what other stressors are happening in your life.

"There's no way I could ever have quit without nicotine replacement. Patches and lozenges work for me." — Lisa Farrell Schwarz

•"I quit five years ago after at least a half-dozen tries. Eventually I came to realize that all I was doing was avoiding withdrawal symptoms by continuing, so why not just end the torture and quit for good?

"A few months later it was easy. Now I never crave them." — Jake Hagedorn

•"I successfully quit about seven times over the last 25 years — each time for less than six months. Even a heart attack could only get me to quit for nine months.

"I finally disobeyed my psychiatrist's orders and got a prescription for Chantix. Smoke-free three years this April." — Ric Studer

•"I smoked from about 18 to 25. Then I came down with pneumonia and it took about three months before my lungs didn't hurt any more.

"After that I never had a desire to smoke again. It may not be a fun solution, but it worked for me." — Jeff Lee

•"I quit at 27 — it substituted as training for RAGBRAI (a bicycle tour across Iowa). Have not smoked since." — Heather Burns

•"I never quit smoking cigarettes. I just stopped buying and bumming them." — Jim McNelly

•"I did for 10 years. Yuck — I hate to admit it.

"I missed it. Now I don't. I couldn't have the life I have with that habit." — Jill Welch

•"I did very well after a bad case of the flu. I went for three weeks. And then Dan Barth threw a pack of cigarettes at me and said, 'If you don't smoke these, I'm going to have to kill you.' Apparently, I get a little cranky."

"(My father) quit on his 30th birthday, and he told me when he was 70 that there wasn't a day in his life that he didn't want one. I have never been the person that will deny himself something that he wants. I'm concerned." — Raine Hokan

•"I've tried to quit a handful of times, usually with about 1-2 months of success. Eventually, I start again.

"The common denominator has been ... I'm quitting to appease someone else. I've never done it for me, because I've never really wanted to stop.

"That's changed recently. I want to do it for myself now. Gonna give it another go after my 30th birthday this June." — Abby Faulkner

The sooner the better.

Dad quit only because he was diagnosed with emphysema. Exacerbated by his diabetes, smoking destroyed his health.

He died in 2001, at age 72. If it wasn't for cigarettes, he might have been around a lot longer.

Let's hope the people you just heard from — those who managed to quit, and those who want to — will be as well.

[And we all hope that each one of US will be around a good long while, too!]

http://www.sctimes.com/story/life/2015/06/08/smokers-common-thread-want-quit/28691417/?from=global&s...