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Quit Tools - Relapse Avoidance and Recovery

Thomas3.20.2010
1 6 45
  Relapse happens. In fact, it happens a lot. The relapse rate for smokers who try to quit the habit is discouragingly high: About 94 percent ultimately begin smoking again at some point down the line. Most of those smokers relapse in the first three months after the decision to quit, when cravings are particularly strong and withdrawal symptoms are still occurring, or are fresh in the smoker's mind. That extremely high rate of relapse is the result of the addictive nature of the nicotine in cigarettes. A million people go on diets and start exercise programs every day and a million people give them up every day. That’s just the way it is.
   
  So are you doomed to relapse? No, it isn’t required. I’ve known a good many addicts who quit smoking years ago and haven’t relapsed yet. I relapsed  cigarettes after quitting, but that happened when I was trying to quit on my own. Since I sought and received help here at BecomeanEX, I haven’t relapsed. The tools and strategies that I learned from the EX Community  have worked so far. In fact, the smobriety tools have worked for my diet and EXercise plan, too.
   
  The common thread among those who avoid relapse is their commitment to keep working at it. They make smobriety and healthy living their first priority. They don’t make EXcuses. They are committed to a better life and nothing's going to take that away from them.
   
  Unfortunately, though, relapse is a reality for the vast majority of us who are trying to get better. And here’s the great danger: many people who relapse feel so badly about themselves, are so embarrassed, are so depressed about the relapse, that they give up. They don’t try again. Or, they go through the misery for many more years before they hit a new bottom sufficiently horrible to motivate them to try again. A lot of them die.
   
  Be Prepared
   
  Don’t plan to relapse. That’s dumb. If you quit smoking with the notion that relapse is normal and acceptable, you’re flat doomed. Instead, learn and practice relapse prevention strategies so you avoid it. You should however, think about what you will do if you do relapse before it happens.  Latch onto the Boy Scouts’ motto: Be Prepared.  Don’t wait until you wake up the morning after a relapse and have no idea what to do next EXcept feel really, really lousy. You should have thought about how you’re going to get back on your program if relapse happens. Don’t let embarrassment or regret threaten your life by keeping you in your addiction or other self-destructive behavior. Our nicotine addiction is just sitting there waiting, like a vulture. It is incredibly patient. It’ll wait a day, a year, a decade, and more.
   
  Don't Want to Change? Expect Relapse
   
  Over the years, I’ve watched Nicotine Addicts relapse. Some decided that if they’ve been able to keep from smoking for a while, they must be able to control it. They can’t. Never happens. Others tried to keep from smoking, but don’t change their lifestyles. They still hang around at their favorite smoking spots, keep the same friends, and do the same things. They smoke again. Some try to white knuckle it without doing anything to change the way they respond to life. When bad things happen, they have no defense against them. The misery, anxiety, fear, or any other feeling they tried to change by smoking never goes away. Eventually the continuing misery leads them to say, “To heck with it.” They smoke again.
  So how do you avoid relapse?
   
  Priority One
   
  The first defense against relapse is to stay centered in the desire to remain healthy by making smobriety and healthy living an absolute priority in our day-to-day lives. I’ve heard EXers use this analogy: Before every airline flight, the flight attendants tell passengers what to do if cabin pressure is lost. Oxygen masks will drop from above their heads. Passengers are instructed to put their on masks on first. Even if you have a child gasping for air next to you, put yours on first. You have to take care of yourself first, then care for your children and others after that. If you don’t put your mask on first, you will be disabled and will be unable to help anyone else. Same with smobriety. Some of us put it in second place. Family is first. We're proud of that. Here’s the deal: You can’t be there for your family if you’re Addicted. Smobriety has to come first. It’s not selfish to put healthy living first. Absent that, you can’t be there for others.
   
  Complacency is the friend of relapse. If we ever believe we have our problems licked and quit working at the solutions, we’re doomed. Don’t do that. Like diabetics, we are never cured. Instead, we have to manage our conditions to stay healthy. Keep doing the things that helped you to quit in the first place, whatever that is. For me, that means doing all those things I've suggested regularly in my Blogs – things like living one day at a time, reordering priorities by gaining new perspectives on what’s important in life, finding healthy ways to deal with stress, no EXcuses, and the rest. 
   
  Become aware of triggers and avoid them. Remember the acronym HALT – hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Any of those feelings will often lead to relapse. Stay aware of what you’re feeling and take action when you find yourself on dangerous ground.
   
  Romancing our addictions is a sure road to relapse. After all, there were times when smoking worked for us. Bad things didn’t happen every time we smoked. Not at all. In fact, some of my favorite memories come from times when I was smoking. There’s nothing much better than sitting on the  balcony looking out at the mountains and having a gentle buzz going. Too bad the legacy of that behavior is so very lousy. I loved that first cigarette after coming out of a movie. I felt so much better after a smoke break at work when things were really intense.  I’ve got to keep remembering where all that will lead me when I want to romance those things.
   
  Overcome Cravings and Smoking Memories
   
  We can carry it through to the end. When I’m contemplating  lighting that cigarette, I think about where that first puff will take me. Right now, most of the time I’m not thinking about cigarettes, but if I take even a tiny puff, the nicotine will trigger my obsession and I’ll be right back to the misery of nonstop craving. I’ll smoke again. I’ll spend lots of money, stink, and eventually die. If I carry the thought through to the end, chances are I’ll realize that I really don't want all the guilt, shame, and sense of defeat that goes with that  and the obsession will leave me.
   
  Speaking of passing, cravings do that. “This too shall pass,” seems simplistic. It is, but it’s true. When I’m hit with a craving, I’ve learned to take a deep breath, and engage in some self-talk. I tell myself that the craving is temporary. There will come a time when I won’t be thinking that life isn’t worth living without cigarettes. In fact, that time will come in just a few minutes. Soon I’ll focus on something else and those awful feelings will go away. I’m always right. A few minutes later I realize I had stopped thinking about cigarettes. I am again grateful they don’t control my life as they once did.
   
  
   Attitude Adjustment 
  
     
  
   Our attitudes about life can go a long way toward preventing relapse. Things that seem bad and make me feel bad are triggers. But, way more often than not things that seem bad turn out for the good.  
  
   I often refer to that week of my quit in March 2010. I had been diagnosed with COPD, a chronic, progressive, incurable smoking related illness. But I also found my forever quit! So a very bad circumstance led me to many, many Blessings! That's how God works! At 100 days, I was laid off during the height of the recession, but only 3 weeks later I found the job I have currently - one of the best I've ever had! Look for the Blessings and the Miracles - they're always there for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear! 
  
     
  
   Gratitude 
  
     
  
   I've had to learn to deal with life on life’s terms. I don't run away from problems and hide behind a smoke cloud. If a problem is overwhelming, I walk away, take some deep breaths, instead of a smoke break, I take a think break, and come back and deal with it. I no longer worry about the stuff that used to drive me crazy. I don't have to plan how many sickerettes I have for the day, when I can get my smoke breaks, where I can smoke without offending somebody, covering up the smell so people won't think less of me. 
  
   I'm grateful. 
  
     
  
   Gratitude’s more than that, though. It’s an antidote to depression and anxiety. It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong. It takes some effort to notice what’s right. The former drags us down. The latter pulls us up. Here’s the prescription I’ve been given by those who have been successful in avoiding relapse:  get a piece of paper and start making a list. A gratitude list. Don’t spend a lot of time wondering if you should be grateful for something or not. Just write it down. Write down a hundred things. Seems impossible? It isn’t. Just get started. Put the list in your wallet. When you feel down, angry, hurt, or discouraged, pull out your gratitude list and look at it. Add to it. Tell somebody about something on the list. Do that and you’ll feel better. If we feel better, our odds of relapse are greatly diminished. 
  
     
  
   Most people who quit  smoking will relapse. You don’t have to, though. I’ve shared a sampling of strategies I’ve used to avoid relapse. There are more. Look for them. If you do relapse despite the efforts you make, don’t make that an EXcuse not to try to get better again. I know smokers who relapsed multiple times before getting it. Problem is, I’ve know some who relapsed and didn’t make it back. They died first. You don’t want to do that. If you do relapse, gather yourself quickly, work to recapture the willingness, and try again.  
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About the Author
63 years old. 20 year smoker. 11 Years FREE! Diagnosed with COPD. Choosing a Quality LIFE! It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. -Galatians 5:1