I’ve only had a handful of smokemares since I quit a year and a half ago. But until last night, they all had similarities:
- I was aware that I had relapsed, but thought I could hide it.
- I felt terribly guilty for relapsing.
- I woke up in a panic, feeling extreme shame for what I had done.
- Even though I could tell I was in my bed, and I had only been dreaming, I still immediately smelled my fingers just to be sure.
Last night’s was different:
- I didn’t consider my smoking a relapse, because I was only bumming menthol cigarettes from a friend. And since I never smoked menthol before, and would never go buy a pack of menthol in the future, somehow, this didn’t count.
- Then, another friend pointed out the flaw in my logic, and I woke up just as I realized he was right.
- This time when I woke up, I immediately knew it was a dream and laughed instead of panicking and smelling my fingers. Why? Because I really never would smoke a menthol no matter how bad a withdrawal urge I was having. Ick! No offense, but I don’t know how you previous menthol smokers did it. I would (and did) drive more than a mile to buy a pack of regular cigarettes before bumming a menthol.
