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In the first few months of your Quit, try to think of your Quit as a newborn baby.

During the first few days, you are like a brand new parent with your newborn Quit. You are a little frightened, unsure, worried. You think you may not be cut out for this. You panic easily. Your Quit is tiny and helpless.

Your Quit can't make it all on its own yet. Your Quit needs lots of attention. You must watch carefully over your Quit. Your Quit needs you to take good care of it. Just like a real baby.

So spend a lot of time nurturing your Quit. Do the things you need to do to make sure your Quit stays healthy. Spend a lot of time helping your Quit to grow stronger. Just as you would do for a real baby. Feed it healthy foods. Take it for a walk. Cuddle and coddle it when you first bring it home with you.

You may need to cut back on your usual activities in order to take good care of your little Quit.

Stay away from the places that might harm a newborn Quit. Don't take your sweet little Quit into bars. Don't take your precious Quit into the homes of smokers. You wouldn't take a real baby to these places, would you? Of course not.

Hang around with other new parents of itty-bitty Quits for support. Ask for the advice of older parents whose Quits are now toddlers, pre-teens, teenagers. Listen to their advice; they've already raised good, strong Quits.

Just as in the case of a real newborn baby, your Quit will grow every day. It will become stronger and smarter. It will learn to stand on its own without you having to cradle it in your arms all the time. But not right away. Right now, give your baby Quit what it needs to thrive.

Maybe someday, as your Quit grows up, instead of constant attention, it will only need a pat on the head or a kiss on the cheek to stay strong and tall.

It will always need loving attention from you, just like any growing child. But as it grows up, it won't need your constant hovering devotion. Just remember to make sure your Quit always knows how much you love it and how you will always be there for it, no matter how old it gets.

But until all that a parent can, and should, do to protect your precious newborn Quit.

xxxooo, Sky


Brenda and Aldo have a baby!!

Posted by SkyGirl Apr 13, 2018

Welcome to the world, Matthias Antonio!  He weighs 6lbs,11oz.  And he is 19” long.  Brenda had a c-section after a long night.  Mom and baby are doing well.  


I reminded her that all FIVE of my children survived having me as a mom (!!!) and that fact qualifies me to babysit when the opportunity arises in a few weeks or months.  Well... she didn’t say “No”.  That’s good, right?  On the other hand, I think she fell into a well-deserved (and probably one of her last uninterrupted for 18 years) nap while we were talking/texting.  


This is one CUTE newborn!!  Welcome, Matthias!  And CONGRATULATIONS to Brenda and Aldo!  So happy for you!!


And I’ll bet that this child will never smoke a cigarette in his entire lifetime!!  Just an educated guess...(if Brenda has anything to say about it, right?)


I am a Babysitter/Advice Giver/Shoulder to Cry On/Amazing Chef/Non-gross-outable House Cleaner/ Laundress/Just plain Hand-Holder when you need support.  I am ALWAYS available to you.  Just 30 minutes away from you, Girl!  Let me help.  Maybe not now...but after all the relatives have gone home.  That’s when it gets tough sometimes.  You can call me ANYTIME, day or night, because you know that I don’t live by clock-time.  United Airlines can do without me if YOU need me.





Brenda M was scheduled for an induction tomorrow, but her water broke tonight.  She and Aldo are at the hospital right now.  She loves you all, but politely asks for no hubbub or advice at this point.  If she gives me a green light, I will keep you all updated.  (I’M SO EXCITED FOR THEM!  She’s going to be such a COOL mom!)


xxxooo,  Sky



I know I’ve posted this at least once every year since I’ve quit smoking.  And I know that, on this new format, I’m not supposed to repost old blogs.  So I’m switching this “Broken Record” blog up a bit.


I believe that Newcomers who have just arrived here at EX need to see something right off the bat that makes them realize that we UNDERSTAND how they feel about smoking and about quitting smoking.


We want newcomers to know that we really do GET it when they say they want to quit but they REALLY don't want to quit at the same time. The dichotomy is REAL.  


We know they need to see something here on EX that gives them hope about their ability to quit and to actually be able to enjoy life without cigarettes. Something to help them believe that they CAN quit and that life after quitting isn’t void of those moments of reward and relaxation that ALL of us thought that smoking gave us.  


We know that Newbies, upon stumbling into EX, need to know that they are that WELCOME and WANTED here on this website.   This is not a closed circle of friends.  That we have been where you are.  That we want to get to know you and help you and walk this walk with you. 


Yes, there ARE a few of us who have long, successful Quits.  But we don’t stay here on EX for the friendships we’ve formed.  We stay here because we want SO VERY MUCH to help Newbies feel welcomed, accepted no matter what, and to help them believe that they can quit, that it doesn’t take something magic to be able to beat an addiction to nicotine.  It just takes knowledge about nicotine addiction and support from other Quitters.  Let us do this for YOU, as the Quitters who came before us did it for US.


So I’m reposting the following because these are basic truths.  Read carefully.  And don’t blow us off just because you don’t believe all of this right away...most of us didn’t believe it right away either.


1) Smoking a cigarette does NOT calm you down, ease your stress, make you happier or more able to cope. All that smoking a cigarette does is increase the level of nicotine in your body, which holds off the effects of withdrawal that started when you finished your last cigarette.


2) You do not enjoy smoking. What you are enjoying is NOT feeling a low level of nicotine in your body.


3) Educating yourself about nicotine addiction gives you a HUGE advantage in successfully quitting.


4) The way you THINK about quitting is absolutely KEY.


It is important that you banish the concepts of "trying", "attempting", "hoping it works", "wish me good luck".
It is important that you read enough about quitting until your thinking does a complete 180 degree turn from "giving up something", "sacrificing something I love", "doing without", "getting through this" into "FREEDOM".

Freedom from what? From a life that is ruled by an addiction, freedom to enjoy better health, freedom from guilt and shame, freedom from worrying when and where you can have your next cigarette, freedom from the panic when you realize you are out of cigarettes, freedom from smelling like an ashtray, freedom from hiding and making excuses.
And don't forget to think about all the free time you will gain, the money you will save, and the self-esteem that will rocket upwards when you quit. So get that thinking flipped around so you are ready to quit successfully.


5) You CAN quit. Your addiction is no stronger and no harder to beat than anyone else's. If we can quit, then you can quit. We can ALL quit.  Listen to me again:  You CAN quit.  We all believed we were different when we first found EX.


6) Yes, the first few days of quitting are not very pleasant. In fact, they suck. Completely suck. 


But if you prepare IN ADVANCE (hear that???) for how to handle those first days, you will make the whole process go a lot easier for yourself.


Listen to the advice of those who have already achieved what you came here to achieve.


Then FOLLOW that advice. Don't just read it in the blogs and think, "hmm, yeah, that sounds good" and shuttle it to the back of your brain.

You must actually DO the things that have been proven to help make you a successful quitter.  No matter how obvious or mundane or elementary that they seem to you.


7) Be HAPPY. This is one of the best decisions you will ever make for yourself. Be excited to do this. And be VERY, VERY proud of yourself. We are. And we will be here to help you all the way...  EVERY SINGLE STEP—no matter how you are feeling.  So, go ahead, post your head off!  Good or bad, you won’t scare us away and we won’t give up on you.



Let’s be honest.  Nobody comes to this site feeling all excited and happy about quitting. 


Most people who come to EX aren’t even sure that they really want to quit.  Or they know they SHOULD quit, but they don’t really WANT to.  Or...they’ve really wanted to quit for a long time, but they don’t BELIEVE that they CAN quit.


That’s the way most of us felt when we came to this site.   So you aren’t different.  


I know, I know...  


It’s easier to accept what you THINK is true;  that you are DIFFERENT, that other people who quit smoking simply didn’t NEED it the way that you do, that YOUR need for cigarettes, and the way you LOVE smoking, and the way it calms you down and helps you deal with life and gives you a break from stress is much more REAL and NECESSARY than what the other people here ever felt—ESPECIALLY the people on this site that have already quit successfully.  They just don’t NEED smoking the way you do.  In other words, YOUR addiction to nicotine is much stronger and much harder to beat than anyone else’s.  Maybe THEY could give it up...but you CAN’T.


But, here’s the thing... (now, listen carefully and read this again and again...)




Okay, now go back and read that again.  Don’t blow it off.


Whoa.  WHAT???  Okay, maybe that’s too much therapy for right now.  But put that phrase in the back of your mind and try to remember it when you are feeling like crap about something in your life...including quitting.


Because you have the ability to DECIDE how you will feel about quitting.


Let me guess how you are feeling...


You feel you are “giving something up”.  You feel that you are making a “sacrifice”.  You feel that life without smoking will feel BAD and that you will always feel that you are missing something good.  You feel that you are facing the idea of “doing without” something that really improved your life and made it easier.


Um, no.


What if you DECIDED to see quitting differently?  What if you DECIDED to see quitting as finding FREEDOM from your nicotine addiction?  What if you DECIDED to believe that life would be BETTER once you were free of cigarettes?  What if you DECIDED to listen to the people here on EX who have come before you and have quit and who tell you that life IS better without smoking?


What if, even though you can’t quite buy into that idea yet, that you just made the decision to BELIEVE that you CAN quit and that it won’t leave a hole in your life?  That life WILL be better after you quit smoking?


It’s not easy to quit.  And anyone who tells you that they didn’t struggle in some way may be not quite remembering it accurately.


But here’s the thing that we all grasped on to when we first quit:  “This is hard, but it will get easier and I will be so happy that I did this,  I will find that life without cigarettes is really good, even if I can’t make myself believe it yet”.


And we were right.  Life IS better.  And we don’t miss smoking.  It’s not easy.  But it’s SO worth it.  


And here at EX, we will help you.  All you have to do is introduce yourself and start talking to us.


You CAN quit.  We did.  And your nicotine addiction is no stronger nor any harder to beat than ours was.


xxxooo,   Sky