To Everyone who has just joined EX, who has tried to quit, who is lurking and wants to quit but is scared..
Here is my post on the day I planned to quit. I had come to EX, unsure, uneducated about nicotine addiction, frightened and not really sure that I even wanted to quit. Actually, I'd come a couple of weeks earlier. I'd done the recommended reading. I'd done the trigger exercises. I'd done the "practice runs". I was SO ready.
Yeah. I thought so.
But my Big Day came and I screwed up. Read it and look at how I blamed being SOO tired. Read how my now dear friend Dale (jonescarp) called me out. I thought he was being so mean to me! He just didn't understand how quitting was so much harder for ME than for anyone else! Yeah, right. Dale, how'd you get so damn smart??
My failure was a real wake-up call.
If I really intended to rid my life of smoking, then I was going to have to do three things:
Make a DECISION to quit.
COMMIT to that decision.
And HONOR that commitment. No matter what life threw at me. No matter how I felt. No matter WHAT.
And so, three days after my failed Quit, on 09/27/12, I claimed my Forever Quit.
It wasn't always easy. But if I could do it...so can YOU.
Well, so much for my big day. I've been flying tons of extra hours this month and I've been getting more and more exhausted with each trip. And this morning, of ALL mornings, I slept through FOUR separate alarms. What finally woke me up was a call from the Crew Desk, screaming "WHERE ARE YOU?????" I got a "DNF" in my work history, which stands for "did not fly". I got three penalty points on my record. And I got reamed by my supervisor. They replaced me on the trip and wouldn't give me another trip to make up the time. So I don't have a 28 hour layover in Seattle, I don't get to see my boyfriend after not seeing him for four weeks, I don't get to enjoy all the wonderful surprises he had planned to celebrate my quit, I had to call him and tell him not to fly to Seattle because I screwed up, which disappointed him greatly. So, I was sitting in bed after all this, still in my nightgown, feeling like a total loser for messing up everything. And what's the first thing I do to feel better? I throw on some clothes and run to the 7/11 for a pack of cigarettes. Then I sit in my car in the parking lot, crying my head off and...smoking. I couldn't be more disappointed in myself.
Failure is only the opportunity to more
intelligently begin again.
You learned a lot! Now, you can use that knowledge to tear yourself down or you can use it to intelligently begin again! You are an intelligent Lady! I have every confidence that you will make the correct decision! We're talking about FREEDOM here - we're talking about LIFE - Happy, Healthy, BETTER in every way! It's yours for the taking....
Thomas(3-20-2010) 1492 days ago
I'm very sorry that this all happened as well. Like everyone said, don't beat yourself up. You really can do this. Easier said than done, but you gotta pick yourself up and do it again. You know you can. We are all here to support you.
Patty-cake (Quit 6-8-12) 1492 days ago
Sounds like a really bad day :-(You've already added that smoking didn't make you feel better---only Worse, soooo let it go, collect yourself, and get back here with us. You know you will never be a happy smoker so it's time to become a non-smoker. We will be here for you when you are ready.
SmokedOut ♥QUIT♥ 04-14-2012 1492 days ago
It takes a commitment that is unwavering. You must really want it for yourself -no matter what! What do I think? I'm here for you today, tomorrow or next week! There will come a day when there's nothing to do...and you still won't smoke. Like you- I picked a "packed" day- a huge schedule change-to start my quit. I understand your thinking-get it back- stronger than ever-for YOU!!! Don't feel bad...don't cry...Get back on the horse and Ride!
CindyMac 1492 days ago
I think you need to get more sleep. If you slept through 4 alarms you obviously were not well-rested enough to fly again. Don't you have to be alert and aware in your job? I don't think it's a job you can just sleepwalk your way through your shift. So, you screwed up. You had a horrible day, and now that you know smoking didn't help, you have all the more ammo to fight with when you quit "for real". :)
Hang in there, we'll be here.
stonecipher 1492 days ago
You are not going to like me after this, but here goes. I think you subconsiously sabotaged yourself . I recognize it because I did it for years and years. Always, always some reason I could not, simply could not do without smoking. You were not ready to commit to N.O.P.E. NO MATTER WHAT. That means NO MATTER WHAT, NOT ONE PUFF EVER. It is so easy to commit to quit while you are still smoking. You did not have to go to the store. You could have rolled over, and gotten some much needed sleep instead. OR YOU COULD HAVE COME HERE AND BLOGGED HELP!!!!!!! Before you went to the store. That's why you joined a support group right? To help you stay smoke free? Use us. You did not choose to quit. You must DECIDE. Decide means Final by the way. I want to see you stop smoking in such a big way. I can see such a butterfly there suffocating under that smoke. DECIDE. NOT ONE PUFF EVER. NO MATTER WHAT.
Owlfeather 1492 days ago
Listen to Owlfeather. She is a very wise