Once again, I find myself making excuses for not blogging more often and not keeping in better touch with my dear EX friends.
I don't know why I never remember that summer travelers are very different. Every year, at the beginning of May, the demographic of the passengers begins to change. Most of the year, we are full of business travelers and frequent flyers, who are experienced with air travel, familiar with the routines and know the best way to make their flights easier for themselves. But, with the start of summertime, we see the number of vacationers increase.
Most travel rarely. Many have only flown a few times in their lives. Some don't know even the basics of air travel, such as no liquids/gels, the allowed size of carry-ons, and that it's been years since free meals were served in economy. They are excited, but are often quite unprepared. They have saved all year for their vacations and expect the impossible in exchange for their expensive plane ticket. They are stressed and get upset easily.
Some examples:
"I need you to fill up my ice chest with ice" (I'm sorry, I can't. We are only given a few bags of ice for the beverage cart and we must use that ice for all the passengers.)
"My baby is hungry. What kind of baby food do you have?" (Really, you left home with a baby and didn't bring any FOOD for the poor thing? No, the airlines don't provide baby food. Nor do we have diapers, baby formula or sippy cups.)
"Why can't I move up to that empty seat in First Class?" (Why? Because you paid for an Economy seat. Those people up in First Class paid three times as much as you did for their larger seat, more leg room, free drinks and hot meals. I'm sorry, but I can get fired for moving you up there.)
"My suitcase won't fit in the overhead bin. I need you to find a space for it" (If your suitcase is too big, well, then, it's TOO BIG. I'm good, but I'm not good enough to shrink a suitcase. I'll be happy to check it through to your final destination at no charge, though. That's a pretty good deal these days, so please stop yelling at me.)
"My medication needs to be refrigerated" (Well, first off, I am not allowed to take possession of, nor even handle, any passenger's medication. Think of the liability! And even if I could, we don't have refrigerators on planes. A couple of the carts have chillers, but they are filled up with food and ice. I can give you a sick bag with a few ice cubes in it. I'm sorry, it's the best I can do.)
"I only have 30 minutes to make my connection. I need to get off the plane FIRST." (Yes, I know. And so does everyone else on the plane. I'm sorry, I can't make 150 people stay in their seats while you waltz off the plane. I will make an announcement to please allow those people with short connections to deplane first. But, guess what? That's EVERYONE.)
"What do you mean you are OUT of snackboxes to sell? I have waited 30 minutes for you to FINALLY get to me! I'm STARVING" (I'm sorry, but we have no control over what the caterers stock on our planes. If you are in the back of the plane, I might not have your preferred snack left on the cart. But why would you get on a 6-hour flight with no snacks of your own? And, by the way, the reason it took us 30 minutes to get to your row is because all the inexperienced passengers on this flight are so excited to get free drinks that they are asking for two or three drinks at a time! Geez, we'll bring the cart through again in about an hour. Nobody will die of thirst. I promise.
"Why is this drink service taking so long? You stopped in the middle to let the pilots out of the cockpit and that took too much time!" (Here's the thing: The Captain is exactly THAT--the CAPTAIN. When he requests something, we do it. He can't fly three flights a day without a meal, nor can he do it without going to the lavatory once in a while. And, yes, it does take a long time to set up the security barrier, get the flight attendants in position to guard the cockpit door when it is opened. Why is it so complicated? Because of 9/11. Need I explain that, sir?)
"This has been a nightmare! Our last flight was delayed! Our luggage got lost! The gate agent was mean to me! There is no direct flight to Timbuktu! The airport food was so expensive! This seat is too small! There are no pillows! My back hurts! And I forgot my wallet!" (Um, yeah. While I'm PRETTY sure that none of this is my fault, I'm happy to take your abuse, apologize on behalf of United and the universe, and keep my Perma-Grin glowing while I do so.)
I love my job. You all know that. But, summer travelers are sometimes enough to make a person smoke! Not me, though! There is nothing that will "make" me smoke ever again. Thank goodness, I got smart about nicotine addiction.
So, why the blog title "999"? Because tomorrow, I join the QUAD SQUAD!!!! I quit forever on 9/27/12.
