...that I'm sort of scared. And that is not a feeling I'm familiar or comfortable with. Auto-immune disease? Huh? What the...? I've been up here in Ann Arbor for more than 7 weeks having tests at the UofM Medical Center.
Tomorrow, I go in for yet ANOTHER test...this time the disease being tested for is called "Polyarteritis Nodosa". Google it. And you might understand why I'm feeling scared. The test takes all day and I have to lie still on my back for 6-8 hours to make sure that the arteries they test don't bleed out after the 3 hour test.
This sucks. I've never been sick before in my entire life. I'm one of those annoying people who always boasted that they never, ever get sick. Until now.
Not being able to come to Orlando is killing me.
But wait. No. NO. Get a grip, Sky! Not being in Orlando is NOT killing me. It feels really, really, really bad to not be able to come to Orlando and spend a wonderful weekend with both old friends and new friends. Especially since I was in Las Vegas for the First Annual Get-together and I feel like I had a hand in the whole idea of the Tear Fest.. Can I be honest with all of you? Here I go: I really feel bad to see you all get together without me there... Selfish, but I'm being painfully honest.
Now, it's time to be more realistic about this. Not being there isn't "killing" me. SMOKING was killing me.
But it is not killing me anymore. I quit. And NOTHING gives me a better feeling about my future. Even medical crap.
Oh. Wait. The thought of going to hang out in West Palm Beach with Teddy does indeed make me feel better than anything else I can think of! Ross, here we come!
Anyway, I could use some cheering up... :-( :-( :-(