What the hell is WRONG with me today? I can't even try to be funny anymore today.
I have not smoked. I will not smoke. That is not an option. I am sure of that.
But this has been the hardest day so far. I might be woman, but I am not roaring.
In fact, I am now sitting in Jeff's office, after a good long crying jag in the car in the parking lot.
I NEVER cry. I rise to the occasion. I make people laugh if I can. I take care of other people. But I never cry. Well, ok, menopausal crying. And sad movie crying. But not just random emotional crying.
I have tried everything we talked about in my previous blog today. I walked, I drove, I shopped, I played on the computer, I made a hair appointment, I browsed antique stores, I planned a nice dinner, I cleaned the car, I read for a while. Yet this day has been one long crave lurking underneath everything.
It's UNCOMFORTABLE. I know that's ALL it is. But I just want to cry, forget the pot roast and go to bed. This is NOT me. I don't like it. I want today to be over.
Done venting. I think. I'm sure I'll be cheerful tomorrow... Wow. Bad day. I don't usually let crap whoop my ass. This is new. I don't like it. I will not smoke, no matter what. Not feeling the victory, though. Sorry.