Skip navigation
All People > Showiestodin > Showiestodin Blog
1 2 3 4 Previous Next

Showiestodin Blog

46 posts

I’m pullin’ for ya

Posted by Showiestodin Oct 12, 2017

Good evening everyone. The night fall has fallen on the East Coast. I am all in my forever quit at 42 DOF in NML, yayy for me. I am truly not going to make the same mistakes from my past learned experiences.  Enough said about that.


Today was all in all a good day. I got some things accomplished. I ate bad today because we were on the road a lot. I don’t seem to prepare for those times. I will have to incorporate that into my plans. The glucose levels shot up a bit today because of those poor decisions. I’ll be back in the kitchen tomorrow, kicking it.


I will meet up with Dr. Adams, my psychologist for counseling. This will be our second visit. I still have no idea what to say or talk about. Although, I am sure she will have some topics to brush upon. That is what I am not so sure about. The first and last time I had counseling turned out with me quitting. I was crying every session bringing up past issues. I just wanted and still want to move forward into my destiny. My thoughts are I have already been through the past. Now here I am. I want to move on but I don’t know how. I need all my negativity to just melt away and leave a shiny me. I love being happy. I know it can’t be great all the time. But I do believe life is what you make of it. If your dealt lemons you can make some lemonade, now isn’t that sweet. This is me, just sayin’.


We’re all in this together, remember I’m pullin’ for ya!!!



Hello EX Family. I am wishing all is well with everyone. I am doing good. I have a a decently productive day. I washed my clothes. Baked a German Chocolate Cake and a Plain Classic Yellow Cake. Then I made some baked chicken tenders, mixed veggies and roasted mixed root vegetables. My Mom brought me a rotisserie chicken back from our local grocery store. It turned out to be  nice lunch. 


You all will be happy to know that my blood glucose (BG) levels are in normal to just a tad high mostly staying in the normal's now. Boy oh boy am I relieved and just proud of my self for pulling it altogether. Getting myself on track with BG is a blessing. I can now see about turning on the treadmill and stay at it at least once to twice a day. I also am going to do the exercises I did while in physical therapy. That really made a difference. I am not going to bite off more than I can chew. But at the same time I am not going to be sitting idle not doing anything. Which is so easy to do when you love to read as much as I do. 


I've lost 6 lbs. this past month according to my [PCP (Primary care physician)] Doctor. I had gotten complacent with myself. Content just reading and cooking trying to walk the treadmill. Now that I have this much set into motion, it is time to en-corporate the physical therapy exercises that made me feel stronger. 


I have already been changing the menu to cleaner foods. I have been measuring my food before it goes onto my plate. I use to do that all the time. Some how I got away from all those good habits. Not anymore. I'm back baby! On the right track. I am so grateful and thankful for this opportunity to be good to myself. 


I bought a  NKJ version Bible. The writing is a lot easier to read and to comprehend. I have started reading in the book of John. My Mom says that is where our Pastor starts Newbies. I decided that I would read according to Pastors guide.


I saved the best for last, tomorrow I'll be starting my 40th DOF !!!   


Having a Fabulous Day

Posted by Showiestodin Oct 6, 2017

Hello, my family of fellow EX’ers. I haven’t been around much lately. I just needed some reflection on where I've been and where I am going.I have been enjoying my new-found freedom. I have just entered NML, with 36 DOF. It really does feel like a couple of months have passed by instead of a few weeks.


I have been feeling dazed and confused these days. I am getting a little irritated being unable to maintain focus or concentration on what I am doing. Hopefully that won’t last long. Oh my, I’ve been having constant dreams about smoking. Most times I wake up saying NO. Other times I take a puff and wake up saying NO. Different scenarios with every dream. I hope that goes away as well and soon too.


It is almost as if the devil is after me day and night. I can’t seem to find any peace lately. It’s not going to rule me. I intend on having a fabulous day to the best of my ability.


You all have a wonderful, beautiful, glorious day.


All in Unison

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 23, 2017

    Hello my fellow EX’ers. I wanted to give an update. I did not smoke. I am so thankful I checked in here first. I am grateful you all said what I needed to hear. Different perspectives but all in unison that smoking will make it worse. I was not thinking that way at first. It makes perfect sense.


   In hind sight, I don’t know why I was ready to throw in the towel. I can incorporate that into my help stay quit toolbox. I know I got overwhelmed and scared. Bad results and no other information.  I am super proud that you two, Tom & Ellen, let me know they were easy to fix.


    I understand I must take super good care of myself. Keep my A1c/blood glucose levels in normal ranges is the key element here. Just get healthy and stay happy. That sounds good to me. I am sure I will get angry at times not being able to eat some things. But, I am worth the effort.


    As long as I stay smoke free, I’m winning!!!! God bless me with a lifetime full of no smoking and fresh air and clean water.





HELP with Ole Faithful

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 21, 2017

If I am dying any way, by way of my organs giving out, why bother.? I just got my lab results from yesterday, not good, not only has my Pancreas given out but now my liver has worsened and my Thyroid has worsened. I am very discouraged right now. I just seem to keep crying. I wonder what is the point at this point to stay quit. Why shouldn’t I live out the rest of my days with ole’ faithful? This does not make for a happy 3 weeks, 21 days, today. I feel like just throwing in the towel and never look back again. Sometimes to much is too much.


Perk it up

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 20, 2017

Hello everyone and good afternoon as late as it is. I am just settling down from my Dr’s appointment today. Wow I found out my pancreas, as she said, has gone kaput. I can perk it back up if I can get the weight off. Other than that, I am in good spirits. No use in worrying myself ragged. I need to get the weight off so I will just have to be more aggressive with my workout plan. I’ve got to get the glucose levels down more. Workouts will help with that. This is all of it in a nutshell. You all have a wonderful, beautiful, glorious day today.


a great week ahead

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 18, 2017

    I am now working on 18 days of being an EX smoker. I am handling things a lot better this time around. I thank Jesus. Walking on the treadmill. Glucose levels are inch worming down with sometimes being in normal range now. Food intake is less. These little things all go hand in hand.



I am looking forward to a great start to a great week ahead.


Have a wonderful, beautiful, glorious day.



I get to see deer, cotton tailed bunny rabbits, red haired fox when things are in bloom, it changes color to black and grey to match the landscape when it is cold, that one makes me a bit nervous because he isn't shy about coming close to the house, yikes!!!  Also I get to see ginnies, a certain type of bird/chicken black and white spotted, a bit smaller than those ginnies are the chickens. My daughter swears that the chickens are plotting something because every morning they gather around a certain mailbox with the ginnies, lol, she's hilarious. I think too much Chicken Run watching, how about you.?...Back to the list once we were all outside and here comes yellow haired mama duck with a herd full of baby ducklings, waddling across our yard from the field beside us to the pond on the other side of us. Now that was glorious to see all the little ducklings. I also get to experience the occasional possum.


Hey what's running around your front and/or back yard?


Deer in my backyard

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 17, 2017


Re dedication

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 15, 2017

I just got off the phone with the 700 Club. I Re dedicated my life to Jesus Christ. Hoooooorahhhhhhh !!!


an awesome story

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 15, 2017

 Listen to this: 2 days ago I was trying to figure out what I could do or get my mom for her birthday. I only had a little bit of money. So I said a prayer that I wish I can give her what she always gives us. That is a card and $100.00 in the card. Well later on that same day my mom came back home and she got the mail on her way in. I received $100.42 from my old insurance co. Now I switched over a year ago. They had been trying to get the check to me, by way of my soon to be ex husbands address. He never opens the mail. He literally has piles upon piles of main all over the dinning room and bar. So they found this address, at my moms' house and sent it to me. Wow, amazing right. God hears our pleas and if it is HIS will it will happen in HIS time. My mom is a prayer warrior. We don't always agree, I think I am not as black and white as she is. I see things in shades of grey. But I gave my daughter a $50.00 bill. And me a $50.00 bill. Then we got beautiful sentimental cards, the one from me has a nice bookmark attached.And we put the money in each card for her. Isn't that an awesome story.


But come on

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 14, 2017

I am an EX smoker for 14 days/2 weeks, happy day. My glucose is looking even better. I really had a hard time with eating too much. Now that I have calmed down, my glucose levels have as well. Whew, what a huge relief. I thank God for bringing me to this point.


Speaking of at this point in my life. I have always wanted to be good to myself by not smoking, exercising and eating right. Now that I am on that good path for myself, I am still at a loss. I feel different, sometimes happy, proud of myself for these accomplishments and yet something is missing. A void in my life. Med’s are being tweaked and I am going into cognitive behavioral therapy counseling next week.


I am so self-conscience. Always apologizing for everything, my very existence. I know that I have my share of mental health problems. But come on. I have got to give myself a break but don’t know how. Wish me well and please give a little prayer for me.


Thanks for your time,


In your opinion am I being just overly confident when I should be cautious? Am I doing both? It feels like I am both on the inside. I think I need to be confident and strong in my quit or else lose it. So I chose confidence over complacent when it comes to being an EX smoker. It makes me feel better about myself to stand firm and to hold onto my forever quit. Is that to presumptuous? I think from previous blogs and responses that I am suppose to be firm. That I should be confident that I will not ever take another puff. 


I feel the struggle in my chest. It is tight as a drum. My heart feels like it will beat through my chest if I don't smoke. My body screams,"Smoke. You're wasting your time trying to quit". I even think about them,sickorettes. I can't help it. It is like I am weakening. Now I can stop feeling sorry for myself and I take an active approach to getting rid of all of that. I will walk on the treadmill. I just got the okay yesterday to start back walking on my treadmill, Yahooo!!!! Now I can really start to feel like I am accomplishing something healthy. I have other avenues I want to look into. I want to improve myself for myself.


I have been inch worming back to normal BG blood glucose levels. I have even hit the normal mark several times. So I see the change in food has and is making a difference. I'll keep on until it stays normal most of the time. Nothing is always perfect


Thanks for listening and please feel free to leave comments...I really can use some advice and guidance from newbies to NMLers to the Elders. 



13 DOF



Hello to everyone newbies to elders. I made it through Hurricane Irma without any damage. Just had some high wind and rain. I am keeping up with Hurricane Jose now. I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers. Keep them coming if you will. I need all the prayers I get.


I am still reading Freedom from Nicotine - The Journey Home (FFN-TJH). This is the most comprehensive information to help nicotine addicts quit smoking since The Easy Way to Quit Smoking by Allen Carr. I suggest reading or reread these books if you need help. They have helped me. Took me from struggling to understanding to making a commitment to myself to never take another puff. NOPE & SINAO.


Freedom is great. I am most gracious to all of you and to the Lord for not giving up on me. About 5 years ago I joined this site. I couldn’t hang onto a quit. I prayed, cried, yelled had full blown panic attacks. So, I gave up on giving up smoking. I would come back here every so often. For motivation to quit again. But it never would fit just right.


Here it is 5 years later a new platform and evidently a new me. I am growing in all sorts of ways. With the education materials within those welcome packets I went from struggling, to knowing I can do this. It is worth the effort that is put in to get and stay free from smoking.






The Ammunition to Fight

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 10, 2017

Hello, hello. I have hit the beginning of the double digits again. I must say I was not happy to have to set my clock back, at first. So, I decided to make the best out of it. I followed and read, and am still reading links from the welcome packets. For the past few days I am happy that I had to reset my clock. First, I deserved that. Second, I read the packets. That was the most EXciting thing of all. All that information just waiting for me to read.


I have been learning so much. I just want you all to know how helpful the welcome packets are. I think it makes the difference between having the ammunition to fight against craves/urges or losing to that battle. I know, I speak from EXperience.


If you are struggling during your quit. Start the reading the welcome packets before you need to change your clock. It may not take away the craves/urges but it will one distract you and second it will help you understand nicotine addiction. Dopamine receptors are looking for that fix. I am now starting to give mine what they are looking for but in a good way, EXercise. This will release dopamine to ease my craves/urges.


These are my opinions from what I have been reading and EXperiencing for myself. This does not replace reading for yourself about nicotine addiction. Your interpretation is what is going to matter to you. Take what helps and leave the rest.