Skip navigation
All People > Showiestodin > Showiestodin Blog
1 2 3 4 Previous Next

Showiestodin Blog

49 posts

I’ll be brief

Posted by Showiestodin Jan 7, 2018

    Good evening Ex family. I thought I’d give you an update. I’ll be brief.


    I am smoke free, 129 DOF straight through no faltering. WOW. I feel so much better. I can breathe easier. Turns out I have Restrictive lung disease. Not COPD. I am relieved. I still have a long journey ahead, good Lord willing.


     I feel pretty good these days. My blood glucose levels are back to normal. Holiday goodies got the better of my good judgement. I am back into the low - mid one hundred. Which is fabulous.


     I will be focusing on getting around better. Call it weight management, blood glucose management, and the concept of; bodies in motion stay in motion. I just want to do what my body tells me I can do. Keeping my Blood glucose with in my normal range, will keep my weight management in check. Fun how it all goes hand in hand. 


    Thanks for listening.

    Cathy    129 DOF


Talks of Encouragement

Posted by Showiestodin Jan 7, 2018

   I am happy to post again. I have wondered what and how you all are doing. I am slowly gaining more confidence to talk in this public forum again. It is nothing anyone said. I have Schizophrenia. This is a severe mental illness. I get very frighted during unpredictable times through out the months, years...I just live and try to survive the best way I can. Roll with it, right.

   Important point is I haven't had to smoke over it. The longer I stay quit, the easier it gets. I don't think of them. It just rarely occurs to me. I usually am having a hard time breathing at that time. A friend here told me he did as well, Brianairb2

    I am so happy I made it through the toughest part with all of you behind me. I seriously thank my Daughter as well. All those talks of encouragement, any time of the day or night. She is an amazing young lady. So proud of her and my Son is just amazing as well. They and my Mom are so proud of me. Most important, I am proud of me. I know most of the time when I thought I just couldn't make it without a cigarette, I would think of how long I have gone. Although I was frightened about what would happen if I didn't smoke, I believed in myself. I've made it this far, I can just breathe through it. Whatever works for you to maintain your quit is great, do that. 

   Ex is the best place you can be when your preparing to quit all the way through the process there are people to help you along. You will hopefully connect with friendships. Great job to all the friends I have made here. Great job to everyone that is here.




129 DOF


Happy 85 DOF For Me

Posted by Showiestodin Nov 24, 2017

Happy thanksgiving my EX Family! I have had a great month. I am maintaining my EX smoking. I am not dreaming of smoking anymore. Yea! I seldom think of smoking. I seldom get cravings. When I do it is not as strong. Although, I am only on day 85, I will always have to be prepared for those cravings. Because I am and will always be a nicotine addict I'll always have to keep my quit active and on point. As all of you well know. Here, we are all in the same boat. 


It took many years before I could think that nicotine is really a drug and that I am a nicotine drug addict. Who wants to be a drug addict, right. You see I was embarrassed and pretty stubborn about the whole thing. I thought I was right. That cigarettes are not a drug or else they wouldn't be legal. Along with many other extraneous thoughts.


I was wrong. I was very wrong. Now I am proud to realize and accept that part of me that has let go of addiction to nicotine. I can now honestly say I am "clean" of all drugs. 


I am happy and proud of myself for going through with quitting. I always felt a since of urgency that, I had to smoke just one more and the thought, I can't make it without a cigarette, in the early part of my quit. I felt that way until recently. I have only had about two weeks, that I haven't thought of smoking a day or two at the time. This is the yard stick I measure how well I am doing. I know that I feel better about myself. I physically feel better without smoking. Not to mention the thoughts of always saying this will be my last one; Or just one more and I promise I'll quit first thing tomorrow. I know you know what I am saying because we are all in the same boat here. 


Which is why I want to tell you all that I thought I was different. Because of mental illness I thought I couldn't quit smoking. I had convinced myself that all hope for me successfully quitting was just not obtainable. I am amazed at how right all of you are. I found out that one day, one moment at a time, does work. I no longer have to be a slave to cigarettes ever again. I wanted you all to know, I am well and getting on strong with my quit. I hope you all are as well.


Have a wonderful, beautiful and glorious day today and everyday. 


We're all in this together remember, I'm pullin' for ya.





I’m pullin’ for ya

Posted by Showiestodin Oct 12, 2017

Good evening everyone. The night fall has fallen on the East Coast. I am all in my forever quit at 42 DOF in NML, yayy for me. I am truly not going to make the same mistakes from my past learned experiences.  Enough said about that.


Today was all in all a good day. I got some things accomplished. I ate bad today because we were on the road a lot. I don’t seem to prepare for those times. I will have to incorporate that into my plans. The glucose levels shot up a bit today because of those poor decisions. I’ll be back in the kitchen tomorrow, kicking it.


I will meet up with Dr. Adams, my psychologist for counseling. This will be our second visit. I still have no idea what to say or talk about. Although, I am sure she will have some topics to brush upon. That is what I am not so sure about. The first and last time I had counseling turned out with me quitting. I was crying every session bringing up past issues. I just wanted and still want to move forward into my destiny. My thoughts are I have already been through the past. Now here I am. I want to move on but I don’t know how. I need all my negativity to just melt away and leave a shiny me. I love being happy. I know it can’t be great all the time. But I do believe life is what you make of it. If your dealt lemons you can make some lemonade, now isn’t that sweet. This is me, just sayin’.


We’re all in this together, remember I’m pullin’ for ya!!!



Hello EX Family. I am wishing all is well with everyone. I am doing good. I have a a decently productive day. I washed my clothes. Baked a German Chocolate Cake and a Plain Classic Yellow Cake. Then I made some baked chicken tenders, mixed veggies and roasted mixed root vegetables. My Mom brought me a rotisserie chicken back from our local grocery store. It turned out to be  nice lunch. 


You all will be happy to know that my blood glucose (BG) levels are in normal to just a tad high mostly staying in the normal's now. Boy oh boy am I relieved and just proud of my self for pulling it altogether. Getting myself on track with BG is a blessing. I can now see about turning on the treadmill and stay at it at least once to twice a day. I also am going to do the exercises I did while in physical therapy. That really made a difference. I am not going to bite off more than I can chew. But at the same time I am not going to be sitting idle not doing anything. Which is so easy to do when you love to read as much as I do. 


I've lost 6 lbs. this past month according to my [PCP (Primary care physician)] Doctor. I had gotten complacent with myself. Content just reading and cooking trying to walk the treadmill. Now that I have this much set into motion, it is time to en-corporate the physical therapy exercises that made me feel stronger. 


I have already been changing the menu to cleaner foods. I have been measuring my food before it goes onto my plate. I use to do that all the time. Some how I got away from all those good habits. Not anymore. I'm back baby! On the right track. I am so grateful and thankful for this opportunity to be good to myself. 


I bought a  NKJ version Bible. The writing is a lot easier to read and to comprehend. I have started reading in the book of John. My Mom says that is where our Pastor starts Newbies. I decided that I would read according to Pastors guide.


I saved the best for last, tomorrow I'll be starting my 40th DOF !!!   


Having a Fabulous Day

Posted by Showiestodin Oct 6, 2017

Hello, my family of fellow EX’ers. I haven’t been around much lately. I just needed some reflection on where I've been and where I am going.I have been enjoying my new-found freedom. I have just entered NML, with 36 DOF. It really does feel like a couple of months have passed by instead of a few weeks.


I have been feeling dazed and confused these days. I am getting a little irritated being unable to maintain focus or concentration on what I am doing. Hopefully that won’t last long. Oh my, I’ve been having constant dreams about smoking. Most times I wake up saying NO. Other times I take a puff and wake up saying NO. Different scenarios with every dream. I hope that goes away as well and soon too.


It is almost as if the devil is after me day and night. I can’t seem to find any peace lately. It’s not going to rule me. I intend on having a fabulous day to the best of my ability.


You all have a wonderful, beautiful, glorious day.


All in Unison

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 23, 2017

    Hello my fellow EX’ers. I wanted to give an update. I did not smoke. I am so thankful I checked in here first. I am grateful you all said what I needed to hear. Different perspectives but all in unison that smoking will make it worse. I was not thinking that way at first. It makes perfect sense.


   In hind sight, I don’t know why I was ready to throw in the towel. I can incorporate that into my help stay quit toolbox. I know I got overwhelmed and scared. Bad results and no other information.  I am super proud that you two, Tom & Ellen, let me know they were easy to fix.


    I understand I must take super good care of myself. Keep my A1c/blood glucose levels in normal ranges is the key element here. Just get healthy and stay happy. That sounds good to me. I am sure I will get angry at times not being able to eat some things. But, I am worth the effort.


    As long as I stay smoke free, I’m winning!!!! God bless me with a lifetime full of no smoking and fresh air and clean water.





HELP with Ole Faithful

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 21, 2017

If I am dying any way, by way of my organs giving out, why bother.? I just got my lab results from yesterday, not good, not only has my Pancreas given out but now my liver has worsened and my Thyroid has worsened. I am very discouraged right now. I just seem to keep crying. I wonder what is the point at this point to stay quit. Why shouldn’t I live out the rest of my days with ole’ faithful? This does not make for a happy 3 weeks, 21 days, today. I feel like just throwing in the towel and never look back again. Sometimes to much is too much.


Perk it up

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 20, 2017

Hello everyone and good afternoon as late as it is. I am just settling down from my Dr’s appointment today. Wow I found out my pancreas, as she said, has gone kaput. I can perk it back up if I can get the weight off. Other than that, I am in good spirits. No use in worrying myself ragged. I need to get the weight off so I will just have to be more aggressive with my workout plan. I’ve got to get the glucose levels down more. Workouts will help with that. This is all of it in a nutshell. You all have a wonderful, beautiful, glorious day today.


a great week ahead

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 18, 2017

    I am now working on 18 days of being an EX smoker. I am handling things a lot better this time around. I thank Jesus. Walking on the treadmill. Glucose levels are inch worming down with sometimes being in normal range now. Food intake is less. These little things all go hand in hand.



I am looking forward to a great start to a great week ahead.


Have a wonderful, beautiful, glorious day.



I get to see deer, cotton tailed bunny rabbits, red haired fox when things are in bloom, it changes color to black and grey to match the landscape when it is cold, that one makes me a bit nervous because he isn't shy about coming close to the house, yikes!!!  Also I get to see ginnies, a certain type of bird/chicken black and white spotted, a bit smaller than those ginnies are the chickens. My daughter swears that the chickens are plotting something because every morning they gather around a certain mailbox with the ginnies, lol, she's hilarious. I think too much Chicken Run watching, how about you.?...Back to the list once we were all outside and here comes yellow haired mama duck with a herd full of baby ducklings, waddling across our yard from the field beside us to the pond on the other side of us. Now that was glorious to see all the little ducklings. I also get to experience the occasional possum.


Hey what's running around your front and/or back yard?


Deer in my backyard

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 17, 2017


Re dedication

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 15, 2017

I just got off the phone with the 700 Club. I Re dedicated my life to Jesus Christ. Hoooooorahhhhhhh !!!


an awesome story

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 15, 2017

 Listen to this: 2 days ago I was trying to figure out what I could do or get my mom for her birthday. I only had a little bit of money. So I said a prayer that I wish I can give her what she always gives us. That is a card and $100.00 in the card. Well later on that same day my mom came back home and she got the mail on her way in. I received $100.42 from my old insurance co. Now I switched over a year ago. They had been trying to get the check to me, by way of my soon to be ex husbands address. He never opens the mail. He literally has piles upon piles of main all over the dinning room and bar. So they found this address, at my moms' house and sent it to me. Wow, amazing right. God hears our pleas and if it is HIS will it will happen in HIS time. My mom is a prayer warrior. We don't always agree, I think I am not as black and white as she is. I see things in shades of grey. But I gave my daughter a $50.00 bill. And me a $50.00 bill. Then we got beautiful sentimental cards, the one from me has a nice bookmark attached.And we put the money in each card for her. Isn't that an awesome story.


But come on

Posted by Showiestodin Sep 14, 2017

I am an EX smoker for 14 days/2 weeks, happy day. My glucose is looking even better. I really had a hard time with eating too much. Now that I have calmed down, my glucose levels have as well. Whew, what a huge relief. I thank God for bringing me to this point.


Speaking of at this point in my life. I have always wanted to be good to myself by not smoking, exercising and eating right. Now that I am on that good path for myself, I am still at a loss. I feel different, sometimes happy, proud of myself for these accomplishments and yet something is missing. A void in my life. Med’s are being tweaked and I am going into cognitive behavioral therapy counseling next week.


I am so self-conscience. Always apologizing for everything, my very existence. I know that I have my share of mental health problems. But come on. I have got to give myself a break but don’t know how. Wish me well and please give a little prayer for me.


Thanks for your time,