cancel
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Share your quitting journey

It's alright ma, I'm only bleeding.....

Posamari
Member
0 9 24

For some strange reason my blog was not posting in it's entirety. Let's try this again, round 4:

Hello Ex Communitians!

I've just joined and am learning my way around the site. I've read one way is to start a blog relating my experience becoming smokefree so far. Here goes!

My last cigarette was at 11:00 pm October 28,2016; 39 hours and 15 min ago after smoking 2 packs the last 4 years. After my last smoke, I put on a nicotine patch at midnight to help curb the morning crave. I've smoked for 40 years, quitting 3 times in that time frame for about 1-2 years each time with the pregnancys of my children. However I would pick up the addiction again for some insane reason(s) after quitting. I smoked menthol so always felt I may have had a double addiction.

Back in May, I decided I was going to quit for good starting in June. My biggest motivation was my oldest daughter was graduating from med school in December 2016 in the Virgin Islands and I wanted to attend her graduation. Imagine showing up with my habit at a med school grad and reeking of smoke plus the fact the long smokefree flight! I also wanted her to be proud of me for beating this awful addiction. My daughters have constantly begged me quit. Thank Jesus, they never smoked and are anti smoking militant about it. Well, June passed, then July, still puffing away, then August hit me like a ton of bricks. I aquired several health issues with one culminating into pneumonia. The last month I have aquired a horrible chronic cough, lethargy, trouble 'catching' my breath, and a depression that has not lifted. The last month has been brutal to my physical and mental health.

I'm currently on stage 1 of the patch. I haven't slept well in years but the past few night smokefree, I've managed maybe 3 hours of sleep each night. Vivid, SUPER bizarre dreams. Actually kind of interesting but make no sense whatsoever. Extreme restlessness, trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. Both nights I've woke up coughing and breathlessness and have ripped the patch off in middle of night but reapplying by 6 am. Have had no real appetite. This severe breathlessness started in the last 20-30 days.  I've been able to ride out the cravings so far (!!), but am foggy headed, extremely fatigued, and just downright depressed. Ugh. Is this normal? If so, is there light at the end of tunnel and when will this start to left to some degree? Could the patch be exacerbating this also?

I apologize for sounding like a Downer Deb, but am being honest and reaching out for some advice, support or info. Any response will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for listening,

Mariposa-Posamari

9 Comments