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Pops Blog

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Pops

Two entire months already!!...

Posted by Pops Oct 27, 2019

Wow!  I can hardly believe that it has been two months since I put down those deadly daggers of death...In some ways, time has just rocketed by, then in other ways...time has been one of my worst enemies.  I know from previous quits, that what we have to do as addicts to this deadly drug of nicotine...is that we simply have to let our bodies (and minds) grow comfortable not having the presence of nicotine in our bodies 24/7.  For the most part, that is a relatively simple task, once I have been sufficiently reminded as to why I no longer do that anymore.  But there are those days....and all of you know what I'm talking about too....There are those days when the urge of smoking "just one" is up there in the front view of my stinking thinking...and it just hangs there....unwanted as it may be....it still just keeps hanging there for what sometimes seems to be an eternity.  Then finally, the urge is gone, and my life has resumed a somewhat normal way of living.  Thank God for that too.....

 

During those less than wonderful moments, when I am struggling....I try to remember all of the pain that I put myself through on so...so...so many different occasions.  It is then that I remember that smoking is a choice, not requirement.  If I am to have any sort of happy life in the future, then I am going to have to regain my strength by exercising better judgement with regards to my health and well being.  Simply giving into the idea that I am an addict and always have been, and therefore always will be....???? Well, those days are no longer.  I have been educated, and I have lived through, and thrived in witnessing the power of positive thinking, and group support here in the EX community.  Not to mention, the countless "attaboys" that I have been receiving from my doctors and coworkers as well.  All of these new and very much appreciated feelings and revelations are fuels for my engine that is driving me to live a much longer and healthier, and happier life.  That's not to say that I am guaranteed a longer life, however you can rest assured that I am living a much freer life, and one that I am no longer embarrassed from.

 

Thank you EX community for believing in me, even when I didn't.  Your constant reaching out to me and calling me back into the fold and telling me how much I was thought of and cared for....well, that certainly made it much easier for me to drop the rock of pride and ego, and simply return to a much needed fold of comfort and understanding.  I can only hope that one day my stories, or the few blogs that I have written while traveling this path....well, perhaps they can serve as a source of help for another nicotine addict that is wrestling with the concept of just how do I get started, or even more importantly...."do I even need to quit.....?"

Have a great Sunday afternoon....

Pops with 60 Days of Freedom!  Woo Hoo!!!!!

Enjoy your day, and let's go "Nationals!"

Pops

Back in for Surgery already!!!

Posted by Pops Oct 8, 2019

Good morning EXers. Yesterday, my aortic stint that was installed three years ago...tore open and started bleeding again. That could very easily have been the final curtain call. As it was, it was very painful. So I’m going in for a repair surgery this morning. I will post more info as it is made available to me. 
In the meantime, enjoy your smoke free day. 
I’m Pops and I have 41 DOF Woo Hoo!!!  

Pops

I'm still kickin'....

Posted by Pops Sep 26, 2019

Good morning EXers!  

It's been awhile now...since my last blog....just thought I'd chime in and let you know that you can't get rid of me that easily....wink, wink...One of my co-workers two days ago thought that she heard that I had died on Sunday night....So her being the gossip queen of the water bottle...proceeded to call up all of my friends and ask them if they heard the terrible news that I had died @ home alone on Sunday night!  I had just left the office about two hours prior to her starting up this stupid rumor.  So my office mates were joking and asked me if I was the ghost of "Pops Past"?  I so hope they dress her down for starting such a dumb rumor....lol.

 

On the contrary....I am so rocking this quit.  I have not had any real significant urges or lingering thoughts of smoking since the night before my surgery 29 days ago.  I gave away what smokes I had left to the other smoking vets that were outside on the deck that night.  I told them that I would not be needing them anymore, and bid them good night.  Since then, it has only gotten easier as each day goes by.  There were a couple of days after I got home just the sheer presence of old familiar sites and smells in the house as well....they brought on some mild triggers.  I immediately scrubbed all of my clothes, threw out the old ashtrays, lighters and such.  Then I just recently moved into a new apartment, as my old apartment was flooded once again.  The new digs have never been smoked in, and all of the walls and floorings are freshly painted and brand newly replaced!  I love the new digs.  I will have to post some pics later.  Mac & Cheese are ecstatic!  They love having all of this newly found room to run and play.  There are alot more spaces for them to hide...I start back to work on Saturday, and will be on a new schedule.  They call it the maxi-flex schedule.  All that is required of me, is that I give them 40 hours of time each week in as many days as I need.  No set time to come in, or leave.  As long as my work gets done....they will be happy.  That way if I need to take off for a few hours for a doctors appointment...just go and don't worry about it.  Pretty cool huh?  Well, I need to get out and eat some breakfast, and maybe do a little picking up around here before it gets too deep into the morning......

 

In the meantime....thank all of you for putting up with my waffling back and forth.  I know that it seems like I just don't want it at times, but the truth is....I'm just an addict to this crap, and I'm not always strong enough....But, I'm getting much stronger today......Enjoy your smokefree day today......

 

Pops with 29 Days of Freedom......

 

My protectors....waiting to pounce on that nasty old "nicodemon" if he should ever show up again.....

Pops

Day 17!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!

Posted by Pops Sep 14, 2019

Look what I just bought as an investment for the next few years......I should very easily be able to double my money on this five years from now....These "shovelheads" are becoming the rage for all of the kids starting out today....I just paid $5,500 for it, and it will go easily for over $10,000 in about three years.  It runs perfectly too.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good morning EXer fam......get yer butts up and out....today is Saturday, and it is a great day to be upright, walking and talking, and hopefully listening to some gentle birds or insects singing to you this morning....I'm so stoked to be alive.  Just 16 days ago, I was coming off the open heart surgery table.  My entire sturnem (spell check) was splayed wide open, and my heart was on a stainless steel table while the surgeons methodically sliced open my left ventricle, and replaced a diseased nitral valve with a bovine valve (valve from a cow's heart) and put it all back together to see that Pops was ready for a little more hell raising before the final curtain call!!!!!

What a wonderful life.....So today, Pops is enjoying his 17th day of freedom.  I'm going outside to sit in my "Papa-San" wicker basket chair and enjoy a fresh cup of joe.

Later today, I am actually moving from my present apartment to another freshly renovated unit across the property.  I have lived in this unit for over five years now, and it has been completely submersed in water from outside water table issues.  Imagine my shock to find out last week after returning from the hospital with a gaping wound in my chest cavity....that I was once again standing in molding sporadic water!!!!!

I immediately called the property managers, sent them an email with doctors names, procedures, dates, warning....etc.... I basically told them, that I wasn't the one being difficult here.  I didn't want to move, they were forcing me to.  So they agreed to hire a moving company to completely move me and all of my belongings to a new unit (on their expense) and give me the newly upgraded and fancy unit for a stipend rent increase.  What a god send that has turned out to be....

So guess what I've been doing the last couple of days!??? I've been shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to the furniture store, bought a brand new dinnete and chairs....two motorized recliners to watch t.v., three new rooms of ultra plush new shag carpet....and patio furniture.... Pops loves to shop!!!!! Retail therapy baby....works everytime...lol

So enough of my bragging.....how's about you guys.....anything cooking today?  Let's kick up some dust.....

Pops with 17 Days of Freedom!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!

btw, I don't know if you can see it in the banner, but I bought a new throw for the bed, and the boys are not letting me up at all....they want me to stay in bed all day long so they can roll in the new feel.....God I love these guys.....

Good morning EXers.....

I know that it has been a long time since I have consistently blogged about this journey in life that we ex smokers commonly refer to as a quit.  Truth be know....I'm actually clueless, and for the most part very immature and extremely self serving when it comes to putting up any level of truth about myself, or my lack of resolve to do anything that is remotely considered to be difficult.  I mean after all....I am human, and I am inclined to take the path of least resistance as a rule....

In years past, that path of least resistance was muddled.  While I was thinking that it was easier to just continue on smoking and ruining my body (since that is what I had been doing all along anyway.....), then I would not spend much time contemplating on the upsides to smoking cessation.  All one needs to to is take a look at my original profile, and the first time that I started coming around here...then you can easily see how the demonic traits of denial have plagued me for years.....

I'll prbably do a pretty crappy job of explaining myself, but I will make an attempt nonetheless.....Firstly, I make no claim to having "any" degreee of common sense.  I am an idiot when it comes to self preservation....Secondly, even though I just recently underwent open-heart surgery, and travelled some pretty wild astral plains while I was under....I am NOT divinely inspired....lol.  (If anything, I am scared that if I don't take heed to some real life common sense approaches to good and practical healthy living....well friends...."I'm screwed"....

So on that note....I think that this is a pretty good opportunity to take a pause and to reflect on just how miraculous it is to have acquired 15 days of continual, no slips, no desires, and no "doubts" as to why that I am venturing out into this new horizon of "smobriety"....My heart goes out to any and all that have not found that comfortable God knows, that I have been up and down this quit journey....and hopefully, with Gods grace....I will be able to continue to stay on point here.

Enjoy your smokefree day.....

xoxoxoxo Pops with 15 Days of Freedom!!!!

Hello to all of my EX friends. God knows you have all been way too generous with me and my lack of resolve in previous quits. Well, I’ve heared it said, “ no wine should be served before it’s time...In the morning of 28 August @ 7:30am, I was put to sleep and a team of six doctors removed my heart from my chest, and replaced a very weak and defective “mitral valve” with a new valve that is called a bovine valve (made from a cows valve and is expected to last for at least 30 years from now. Typically they used to use pigs valves, but they have developed a high rate of rejection and don’t last much longer than fifteen years. 

 

So, my attempt at heartless humor is better realized. I’m thinking that at least I have a brand new heart to successfully navigate this forever quit. Thanks in advance for all of you support. I’m sorry that I’ve been such a tool this year. 

Believe when I tell you that waking up to see that your chest has three huge tubes sticking inside your cavity for about 12” long...Yikes! That was scary. One needn’t worry about my resolve to continue with this quit. I’ve literally been to the other side, & I have no intention of foolishly ever putting a stick of nicotine in my body ever again. NOPE!!!!!  I’m being released from the hospital tomorrow morning and will get caught up with more details later. 

In the meantime, enjoy your smoke free evening, as I certainly will!!! By the way, I’m so missing my boys “Mac & Cheese!”

Pops

It's a "dozen, cousin"!

Posted by Pops Jun 25, 2019

Good morning EXers!

I've gotta run to a meeting in five minutes.  I thought I'd give out a shout for a dozen....days of freedom...woo hoo!!!!

I simply aint doing it anymore...

I will check back in later....

Enjoy your smokefree day....

Pops w/12 DOF!

Pops

Blogging on Day 11...

Posted by Pops Jun 24, 2019

Good morning y'all....

Get yer sunblock on today...and the rest of the week as for that matter...uv a&b rays are at an all time high this year.  Something about the earth's magnetic field that has been measured for the last 100 or so years now.  Apparently, when the earth's magnetic aura is low (we are approaching it's lowest level of a 12 year cycling period)...then the Sun's uv a&b rays are most high.  The scientists have built some very high-tech digislators that are capable of being within just a few nanobytes of accuracy.  According to their readings now...we are basically screwed without protection.  I'm just saying...

 

After all, we are all here trying to extend our higher quality of life and good health, starting with smoking.  A proactive move that your dear ole "Pops" is rocking 11 days today!!! Yeah to me, and to all of you who are doing this as well....

 

It's Monday morning, and I saw one of my newest leaders walking in the hallway.  I greeted him a good morning and customary, "how are you doing this morning?"  He replied, "well...as good as can be expected for a Monday morning...I guess...", as he sighed.  I chuckled, and said, "I like to look at Mondays differently these days...I think to myself, just look at all of the problems that I have an opportunity to solve by this Friday."  BOOM! How is that for impressing the new boss?!!!  Pops welcome wagon is rolling nicely this morning.

 

My chi is in sync with my bios, and now I have to get busy on finalizing these contracts on my desk.  I will check back in later this morning...In the meantime...have a great smokefree day.

 

Pops with 11 Days of Freedom...Woo Hoo!!!!!

p.s. I'm thinking that I am going to head out to "Put In Bay" when I'm out in Ohio during the 4th of July week...

They really like to party out there....

lol...probably not a good place for a sober person to be hanging out on....hmmmm oh well...there are other things to do there...

Pops

I'm a "two digit...midget"!!!

Posted by Pops Jun 23, 2019

Don't even start with me and the politically correct way to put it.  Hey, you're reading a blog of someone who used to think midget wrestling was a professional sport.  I also felt that midget tossing was great exercise....;-)  Some of us just never evolve...So me & the toads went to Shady Maple, Pennsylvania yesterday...long ride too.  We left Mount Airy, Md @ 9:30, and didn't get to the smorgasborg until 1:00.  All toll, we went on about za 325 mile ride through the back roads and twisty turns....I got so sunburn too.  And that was still after applying Banana Boat spf 50 twice!  Sun is just brutal this year.  Beware if you have any tendencies to burning....skin cancer sucks....

For some reason, last night was a really tough time for me to get through.  I simply took a cool shower & about 4 low dose zaspirin...zand crawled into bed with the boys for the night....Cheese knew I wasn't feeling good, so he stuck real close to me all night...what a soul mate he has turned out to be....Mac on the other hand...he could care less...lol.  He's the one to say, "hey, you gonna go out in that crap all day long??? then suffer" lol

I bought a loaf of the Amish Gourmet Blueberry bread with icing....ummm that is going to make for delicious slice of peanut buttered toast with jam....

Have a great smokefree Day....

Pops with "TEN" days of freedom...

Pops

Pops is one week "smober"!!!

Posted by Pops Jun 20, 2019

Good morning EXers...

All is well in the world of Pops this morning....I woke up this morning after a "full nights sleep" and exhaled deeply with no coughing whatsoever....Now that is a marked improvement from a week ago.  Today is my Friday, as I'm off work tomorrow.  I get every other Friday off.  I love that schedule.  I work 8 nine hour days, and one 8 hour day...for a total of 9 days in each pay period, and every other Friday is the tenth day that I don't have to work.  The government calls it a "flex schedule."  On July 2, I'm off until the 8th of July.  I'm heading out to Ohio for some great food and fun with the brother and friends.  He plans on serving up "pulled pork", garlic Po-Boys, wings & shrimp....We like to party hard during the 4th of July....

Oh, by the way...if you eat my brother's cooking....you'd better consider telling him how great it tastes too....lol

Okay, I guess I had better get busy on my tasks here at work this morning.....in the meantime...have a great smokefree day....

Pops with 7 Days of Freedom...Woo Hoo!!!

Pops

Day dreaming while in day 6...

Posted by Pops Jun 19, 2019

Good morning EXers....

before I forget..the banner pic today is a photo that I took from the overlook on top of the mountain in Cumberland Gap while I was on one of my many motorcycling adventures....great shot Pops!...why thank you...I thought so too...;-)

 

Geez, it sure is nice being able to sleep the night through without waking up every thirty minutes to light up a cigarette.  I know that is a dangerous practice...smoking in bed, but hey....if I was worried about dangers from smoking...then I would have quit along time ago.  Right?...You should see all of the cigarette burns in my carpet under my bed, where I would be so tired...that I would drop my smoke as I fell asleep, and the smoke would smolder away while burning a two inch long hole in my carpet...(I'm going to have to pay for a complete re-carpet job when I move...).  I have gorgeous linens that I have been purchasing for my bedroom, all of which have various sized burn holes in brand new bedspreads....what a waste of hard earned money.  As time goes by, I will use the money that I am saving from not smoking, to replace my bedspreads.

 

Speaking of not smoking...withdrawals are not too terribly bad this time around.  I am using the 21mg Nicoderm patch, and I believe that it is helping.  I still get cravings, but they are much less frequent already.  I have to remember the phrase that usually displaces those nagging thoughts..."I don't do that anymore"...then just simply move on to the next thought process. (usually work related).  In this particular instance, work is a nice distraction from the negativity.  Office mates are not nearly as supportive as they had been in the past.  I can hardly blame them either.  They are most likely making side bets as to how long it will be before they see me outside smoking another cigarette. 

 

Okay, I have had my toast already, and now I'm going to enjoy a cup of joe, and hit the bricks with everything I have.  I'm going to post a pic here.  See if you can read the sticker that I put on the back of my tour pack...lol...I love the sentiment..

Enjoy your smoke free day....

Pops with 6 Days of Freedom!

 

Pops

I have eyes on my day five ;-)!

Posted by Pops Jun 18, 2019

 Good morning EXers.....

 

Well, things are going well as can be expected...the jonsing factor isn't too terribly disturbing this time around.  I am sitting @ my desk eating my morning ritual..(a mug of iced tea, and two slices of wheat toast with peanut butter and jelly)...That seems to help keep the hunger craves away until lunchtime.  

As you can see...I'm already getting started lol.  I have a staff meeting in about 20 minutes, then it's turn & burn all day again.  My office neighbor is starting to feel some heat, as he sees that I am knocking out work at a maddening rate, while he simply sits at his computer and surfs the web for gun deals and streams his music, and spreads rumors about the state of affairs in our office these days....(you know what I mean....anything "BUT" doing some semblance of productive work...???  All the while, singing Trump's mantra, "Make America Great Again."  I could just puke....

 

But hey....I'm not smoking!!!  I'm thinking just a second...time for another bite of that toast....ummmm good....Okay, where was I?  Oh yeah, I'm alive on day FIVE!  Yep, I noticed that I didn't hack up any phlem this morning either.  I'm certainly not missing that wonderful morning exercise...you know the one....where you cough so hard, that a hunk of oyster guts come flying unexpectantly out of your mouth and lands on some inappropriate spot on the side of the car, or down my shirt....oh joy....what a great visual you get to have this morning huh?  Well remember EXers...that is just one example as to why you don't do that anymore....so there....don't say Pops never gave you anything...your welcome. 

 

Seriously, I need to get busy on this toast before the meeting and I will check back after the meeting.  In the meantime...

Enjoy your smokefree day!

Pops with 5 Days of Freedom!!! Woo Hoo!!!

Pops

Happy Father's Day....

Posted by Pops Jun 16, 2019

Good afternoon & happy Father's day for those that meet the requirement....I got a call from my son in Fla today and he and I are both enjoying our fathers day.  Hope all of you can do the same.....

I'm trudging through day 3 today.  I spent it with my knees up in the breeze with my fellow Road Toads as we were meandering through the backroad twisties that we have in Eastern/Central Maryland.  It was very scenic, and the temperature was perfect.  (78 degrees with a slight cloudy overcast)  I love riding like that.  Not too hot, and certainly not too cold.  The pace was very peaceful and the curves were not radical.  Almost all of them were gradual and the umbrella trees overhead had a wonderfully calming effect on the psyche.....

After riding for a few hours, we settled on a really authentic mexican food resturaunt and pigged out.....

Who can think about smoking when you have a poirk burrito that big in front of you!?  That will be tomorrows lunch for sure.  Day 3 has been pretty much a piece of cake so far.  Now that I am home with the boys...it's time to turn on the Pebble Beach US Open golf tourney and see how that ends up.

Enjoy your smokefree evening....

Pops w/three days of freedom!

Pops

Still "onery & full of myself"

Posted by Pops Jun 15, 2019

Hi EXers...

 

Pops is on day two (2)...

Yep, that's right..as most of you could pretty well surmise...I once again for reasons...infinitely long and not worthy of mentioning...I picked up another pack of death and proceeded to play "russian roulette" with my life.  Now, after approximately 10 months of being "totally" free of the liquid courage...I felt it was time to turn out the lights on these damned smokes as well....I'm on step one of the nicoderm patch (under doctor's supervision) and am going to go completely through the program as it is written this time.  Last time, I felt that I could handle it, and quit taking the patch after about one week at the behest of several other people's suggestions.  (People that haven't a clue about the medical research and effort that has been put into this study as well)  This time, I am going to trust in the process, and do what I am told to do by my doctor and stay the course as it is designed.

 

I did discover during my Drs visit, that my bp is surprisingly good considering all the stuff that has been going on @ work these days with regards to stress.  118/87..!!! I'm can certainly learn to like those numbers, since at one time in my life, I was 221/114...(how I lived through that time in my life is beyond me.....)  So yesterday, being day one was hectic inasmuch as I kept on remembering at different times during the day, that I would normally be outside smoking a butt.  Then I would just say that same old mantra that we all know around here...."oh yeah...I don't do that anymore..."  And so here I am at 5:00 pm, leaving work, (it's been a 12 hour overtime shift today)...and I am going home to my boys...btw, Mac & Cheese are doing absolutely great these days....What a precious joy they have become for me...we are without question...thick as thieves...

 

This last couple of months, I have been throwing "copius amounts of money" into the motorcycle.  I have joined a motorcycling club called the "Road Toads", and they have decided to call me "Pops Road Toad", and just recently patched me in as an official member...lol

 

We have fun together...just a bunch of old geazers getting together and riding for the joy of it.  None of us drink either, and that makes for a much safer journey as well....Next month, about 12 of us are getting together for a week long journey.  We are going to leave Urbana, Maryland..and travel north up through the Adirondack mountains in Pa, New York and Vermont...ending up in Bangor, Maine.  The plan is to go out to Acadia National Park, and turn back around and come back home on the other side of the Adirondacks...until finally getting home.  That should be a great trip.

 

Work has been crazy this summer!  We have people that are so fed up with the bureaucracy, that they are simply throwing their hands up and walking out without notice or anything.  Just saying "I've had enough...I quit!"  I mean people with over 25 and 30 years...just saying enough...Craziest thing I've ever seen. I don't care how stupid upper management gets...I am never going to let someone drive me away from a career that I have worked on and earned the right to retire from.  When I retire, it will be on my terms, and at the time that I choose to retire...not theirs....oh well...that's a story for pms i guess....

 

Anyway, let's rip the scab off the sore...I'm sorry to the group for not being a successful quitter as many of you have.  I realize that I know very little about this freaking addiction.  One thing that I know beyond any shadow of a doubt is this..."I will never be free of it..."  I don't care how long I have been away from smoking...if I am not careful, and keeping my head on a swivel (by watching out for any sign of waning...) I can and "have" found myself standing @ a gas station counter somewhere...asking some attendant to sell me a pack of death...geeze...unbelievable how easily I can just throw away a perfect quit just to satisfy an immature decision for a moment that turns out to be a long dangerous travel...So once again, I'm sorry, and now I have to get back to the basics.  I am now on day two, and headed home to the boys and dinner.  I look forward to hearing from you guys again....

xoxoxo Pops with 2 Days of Freedom!

Good afternoon friends...

Pops is trudging through day six of this final quit journey.  I have the truck in the paint shop today.  When they get done with the scratch in the hood, then the repair shop is installing my aftermarket exhaust....oh boy...just what I always wanted.  A "big shiny Red truck", that you can hear a mile away...

Mine could be made to look like this easily enough.....

As for the smoking is concerned....no nagging thoughts today....just getting through it one day at a time.  NOPE, and I just Don't Do That Anymore....

Pops w/6 DOF!!!

Gotta luv Jack....