The day I quit smoking I took stock of my physical feelings & appearance.
The heavy chest
The labored breathing
The rattling in my chest
The rawness of my throat
The brown stains on my fingers
My yellow teeth
The aching joints
The red & watering eyes from the smoke
Even from the beginning I felt that remembering these things would somehow become important to me keeping my quit later on. My premonition proved to be true but only after a year or so.
I had been quit for almost 1 ½ years when things occurred to test my dedication to this quit. I romanced the cigarettes for some hours. Posting to the site I was using back then seemed to do no good. No matter what they told me I wanted & intended to smoke. They were all fighting for me but asking for help was just a formality. Then I began remembering how I felt in the beginning. I was able to actually bring those feelings back. I know it was psychological but my breath came short & I could feel the burning in my throat, the rattling in my chest & the watering eyes. Then came the remembering of my reasons for quitting. Most of all I thought of the family that loves me. That brought me back to Earth & scared the crap outta me. I eventually went back & apologized to my friends.
Sometimes no matter what anyone says or how much they say it will do no good. Sometimes we just have to help ourselves.
Keep on keepin on,
M n @
