I’d heard of Nicole before & though we’d never met I figured we would run into each other one day & so we did. She was such a romantic figure in my mind that I had probably unknowingly arranged it myself. The mind is a powerful tool. I was walking home from school, she was with a friend & he introduced us. I was shy & unsure at first but she made me feel like we were old friends & she smelled so sweet. We were only able to spend a couple of days of week together at first what with football & then baseball. Towards the end of the school year though we were an item. I had taken my friends love & made her my own. Funny that he didn’t care but I didn’t dwell on it then. I was a big man when I was with her. I was an adult, sophisticated, intelligent & all those other lies she told me. All that summer we learned about ourselves & she told me of all the good things she could do for me. I was anxious to get out on my own so I could start living the life Nicole had painted so vividly for me. It was fun in the beginning. Coming of age in the 70’s was a great time. It didn’t matter where we went everyone knew Nicole. There were movies, concerts, trips in the car, trips in a plane & just being together. Good times.
I can’t say when it happened only that it did. We had been together 35 plus years when it came to me that I had been living with lies. I went out on the back deck to confront her. I complained that the short walk to the deck had left me out of breath. I complained that I could never go anywhere unless she could be with me. I complained that it cost so much money just to have her around. We argued back & forth all evening. She was using me up & I told her she had to go. At first Nicole was apologetic & begging to stay but I held firm. When she saw I was determined to strike her from my life she turned mean. It was a Nicole I had never seen before. She was relentless in her resolve to remain in my life but I would have no more of her & stuck to my guns. She finally walked away defiantly. “No one ever quits loving Nicole!” she screamed. At first she would call every half hour & it was so tempting to bring her back to ease my longing but I held my ground. After a month it was rare that she would try to get in touch but it happened. Occasionally I would come across a reminder of her, lo & behold I would hear from her that very day but have always hung up on her when I realize who it is. After almost nine years I would like to think that she has forgotten me but it is not to be. She loves to bug me every couple of years & hopes that I will talk to her but my new life won’t allow any contact with her. She has lots of lovers anyway, she doesn’t really need me. I wish I could tell them all how manipulative she is & only wants a relationship for selfish reasons. I know I can’t do that but they all find out some day anyway…one way or the other.