I must admit these past few days have had me on the slippery slope! Ive been having hair pulling urges since Friday. After 22 days, im just now experiencing the quirks of "hell week" where im having to drag one foot and pull the other. Its HARD! I keep thinking and trying to pinpoint the trigger so that it can be addressed and perhaps resolved but I've got nothing! Im not stressed (that I know of) im not hungry, tired, angry or lonely. What oh what can it be that have this nag so strong? I absolutely refuse to have another day 1 its going on a year since I've joined this site this time im demanding to be IT! Ive encountered stressful situations starting school, the issue with my mom and the kids and just being a single parent in general but those things didn't even trigger a thought let alone a crave! I won't give in NO MATTER WHAT! I just wish these feelings would go away! Maybe its depression I have been feeling pretty down lately come to think of it I could be stressed due to the many changes I'm enduring. I've also been beating myself up behind the smallest things like not having the laundry completed or the dishes and my future with my kids it's hard to think I will be raising them for a very long time ALONE its not fair that my husband left me in this position but I have to accept it. It scares me though I want to raise them to be upstanding citizens, respectful, successful and full of faith in our Father and His amazing son Jesus that's what I desire. Its hard enough here in Mississippi that racism is still heavily alive we are deemed failures and criminals just by the color of our skin I want my kids to be the change. I'm afraid to remarry or even date because ive been on my own for so long and that's what my kids are used to just us 4. Also after the last relationship I chose to step away. Sorry but these are some things I just had to get off chest. Maybe after this tomorrow would be a better day. I'm going to say my prayers and hope to get a better night's rest than last night. Good night my dear friends and family and thanks for listening.
