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MePlus3 Blog

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MePlus3

2 weeks

Posted by MePlus3 Oct 20, 2017

Hey lovelies! Today make 2 weeks! I got a funny story! I got a crave last night not teeth pulling but I also like to stay ahead of them. Well I reached for my vape and the mouthpiece was gone it's sooo little I panicked but also had my mind made up that SINAO so I got moving! I hadnt cleaned behind my furniture in AGES so I began pulling things out sweeping, mopping, fascinated by the dirt that went unoticed for so long. My house is pretty old so there's tile on top of tile with a laminate rug on top there was one tile that was broken so I pulled it up before I knew it I'm snatching it all up lol now I'm over here with bare floor they're not even hardwood just plain wood I can't mop it or anything. Like how in the heck did I manage to do that lol I bit off more than I could chew but the good news is I got over that crave oh and I found the mouthpeice! TGIF! 

PS: I called my uncles this morning to come fix this mess I've made lol

MePlus3

Quick update

Posted by MePlus3 Oct 19, 2017

I'm still going strong! Tomorrow will make 2 weeks! My heck week was actually my hell week but I don't want to smoke anymore so anything goes as far as the many emotions I'm experiencing. I don't have a thought or taste for one at all! A few days ago, one of my classmates boyfriend offered me one jokingly (hopefully) he was snapped on by his girlfriend and my other classmates I was with for lunch. I wasn't tempted at all though I politely told him no thanks I quit and told them they didn't have to come to my defense I was absolutely OK! Though of course they felt that was wrong of him I could understand why but my mind is made up. I'm not counting days I just know that every Friday make another week. I still vape but I'm cutting down on the nicotine I have a plan for that as well. I'm doing my first 2 weeks on 24mg (I was afraid to go that high at first but I figured change would make a difference) when that run out soon, im doing 9mg then 3mg then non nicotine and I'll be done with it. I gotta stay focused and take it slow finding out what works for me to stay quit and so far so good! I'm glad to be back and clean! Gotta get back to class ttyl!

MePlus3

Oh me oh my

Posted by MePlus3 Oct 16, 2017

Hey lovelies! Idk what day it is in my quit I think it's around day 10 or so. It's getting tough! But I'm making it. Not sure my trigger yet but I can smell and almost taste one! I usually have my vape on a low watts but for now I had to bump it up. I will not give in. Don't worry.  I just need some support a helping hand a joke any stories tell me how your day is going something anything to occupy my mind until this feeling pass over. 

MePlus3

Once an ex always an ex!

Posted by MePlus3 Oct 14, 2017

Hey my ex family! I'm back! Sorry I got comfortable with alot of you guys being on my fb and completely neglected the site. Boy has life been a world wind! I've been quitting over and over as usual until one day I said screw this! I didn't think of the day I didn't care I just quit! I texted a few friends (thats the only way I knew how many day it had been) and I lived without it. I didn't worry about craves I stayed busy I QUIT! Today make 8 days and I'm not looking back. Every so often I'd vape (I know I know but it's working) or use a gum while at school but thats it. This rollercoaster is over (How many times I've said that) but this time you'll see heck I'll see! I miss each and every one of you rooting me on. Holding my hand even being there for non quit related situations well I'm back because once an ex always an ex and I will never quit quitting this quit is it! 

-Kimberly

MePlus3

Day 3

Posted by MePlus3 Jul 23, 2017

Hi everyone! Just stopping by to check on you awesome group of people! I'm working on day 3 and it feel much longer than that not in a white knuckling kind of way but a more so riding the waves so gently to the point I thought I made it further. I'm in a good spot. A few times I had to remind myself the "tests" are over I know good and well at this point that I will catch the most excruciating headache if I have even one. I have control over that and that's where I am now. Thanks for reading have a great Sunday! 

MePlus3

Hey hey!

Posted by MePlus3 Jul 21, 2017

Hi guys sorry for being MIA I guys I got too comfortable with most of you being on my Facebook now. Well I must admit I've been on the rollercoaster again but good news is I've made it through today free! It's now or never now. I've realized now that every time I even have one my head bang in pain for days no matter what I take for it. It's been like this for quite a while now and it's miserable. I call myself all kinds of dumb for KNOWING that this headache is going to happen yet I still think it "ok" to have one like this time will be different or something NOPE that's not the case. Well now I'm ready to fight through this the good, bad, and ugly. I will not forget these "smoke induced headaches" and I now have accepted and know that I absolutely cannot no matter what do it without being hurt. I'm not sure what's causing the headaches or rather what's going on when they come but I'm sure if I keep gambling the results won't be pretty so on to day 2!

MePlus3

Here

Posted by MePlus3 Jul 6, 2017

Sorry I disappeared so abruptly. My quit didn't go as intended and I'm tired of playing on that rollercoaster. I didnt think I was worthy to be here especially when I couldn't even get a good start. :-( It truly warms my heart that so many of you care about me but it breaks my heart because I didn't know I would cause such an effect on you guys! Today I bought a vapor (I know but I'm desperate) and haven't had a smoke since lunch I'm trying again! I'm sure alot of you are in bed now but I'm going to need some encouragement in the morning to keep going! 

Good night

Kimberly 

MePlus3

Day 2

Posted by MePlus3 Jun 19, 2017

Day 1 flew by like a breeze! Now for 2 day. I've had my moments where I wanted one but it didn't last long. I also just smelled a good bit of second or 3rd hand. I would never be able to piece this together but while I was driving I had my window down (my car don't have ac) and I smelled it almost as if it was coming from my passenger side. No one was in the car but my son and I. The car behind me windows were up and we were the only ones on the road not even a person walking! That was weird but I appreciate it because its a God sent reminder of what I smell like to others (yucky)!

MePlus3

Day one/won

Posted by MePlus3 Jun 18, 2017

Hi all! This is a bittersweet day for me the day to appreciate the active fathers which in watching is a beautiful thing but it's also the day I lost the father of my children. I'm actually holding it together better than I expected. Today made 2 years since he's been gone. Though we weren't the best as a couple he was a wonderful father despite it all. 

Today is also my quit day craves haven't been as bad as I expected. I'm glad to say I made it through smokefree! 

MePlus3

Date change

Posted by MePlus3 Jun 13, 2017

Well I had my last one and really don't want to buy another pack. I NEED to quit. My head has been hurting constantly for the past 5 days or more no matter what I take it does not stop at all I'm convinced it's from smoking so much. This is not a life I want to continue to live. I've found where the crack in the door is and I know this may sound really crazy but I still consider them a friend when all else fails and when everyone turn their back on me they are still there. That is my truth though I have plenty of knowledge and know otherwise I'm still dependent on them to "be there" I'm losing my closest friend and don't know how to accept it. The other girl was no big deal but this one is like my sister we took baths together when we were younger she was there for me when my mom turned her back on me. I haven't confronted her about the changes in our friendship I really don't know how. She don't motivate me like she used to and there's fault in all I do. For example I like colorful phone cases she said that was childish so when I got my new phone I got a black and gold simple one (not for her it match my phone) nevertheless I showed it to her and it was "ugly" I told her I'm glad I don't live to please you but it still hurt my feelings. This girl was my motivator she helped me face all my fears to get to where I am now. I used to be afraid to drive out of town she pushed me to do it with her in the passenger side making sure I was ok. Now it's different. 

My new date is tomorrow. I'm still preparing but I really don't want to buy anymore. Well I'm rambling lol ttyl!

MePlus3

6 more days

Posted by MePlus3 Jun 12, 2017

Hey all! I miss you dearly! Good news I've set my quit date and preparing as we speak I'm treating it brand new. Tracking, Developing a NRT plan, Making a quit kit. I bought teas, dum dum pops, and other hard candies. I'm about to start on easy way again and actually finish it this time. June 18th is my quit date but I'm cutting down more and more each day. Also I found a professional treadmill for 80 bucks so yep I'm replacing smoking with a good ole work out! I'm excited! I don't want to stink anymore I'm going to be free! June 18th was the day my husband took his life away and it's going to be the day I take mine back in honor of him. This is a tough month for me and the memories of him are still fresh even after 2 years but that won't be an excuse it's a motivation for me to PUSH! 

MePlus3

Finding myself

Posted by MePlus3 Jun 7, 2017

I disappeared for a while and y'all know good news doesn't come out of that. I have to find myself, find my commitment, dig up my determination. Until then, I will be writing these type of blogs over and over and over again. I have to make what went wrong or what's going wrong right but first I have to find that too. I have to start from scratch. I'll be back and soon but first I have to get things in order.

I've been tired. School and this new position at work have me whooped! And another lady just quit so I'm basically doing her job now as well it's stressful but I'm pushing school is almost over and maybe then I can see straight. That's still no excuse but this is where I am. 

I'll be back soon...

MePlus3

What happened

Posted by MePlus3 Jun 1, 2017

Now that I'm over myself I can go into more detail...remember the "friend" from around mother's day that I blogged about well she's back again with the harassment she's been "accidentally" texting me but I don't respond because she'll say it wasnt for me and quite frankly I dont want to be bothered by her so fast forward she called me today I didn't answer she texted and asked about timesheets at first I didn't care to respond because she's no longer a part of the company but I did I told her "yes I turned in overall timesheets training included" she went on to tell me that she no longer works for the company I said I know she offered help in my position I told her I got it so she laughed at me I asked her what is there to need help with? She said I'm program coordinator and elaborated on the job duties that's when I send her a copy of the email of the promotion I told her I am executive assistant and clear of the job duties required in my position. She laughed again..and called again this time I answered but I didnt tell her much more listening than talking she got mad and brought up the situation from the guy I told her that was dead like over with so she went completely off saying I'm not allowed back to his mom's house I HAVE A HOUSE OF MY OWN! that don't stop no show if there was one! Anywho we ended up over talking one another in a verbal brawl. Im tired of her as a whole. She pick at me because im small.  Sure enough I could've continued to ignore her but evidently she took that for weakness. Im calm now.  Honestly I still want to smoke not sure how long this will last. 

MePlus3

Whew

Posted by MePlus3 May 31, 2017

I woke up with "one" on the brain. I told myself I will not move out of the bed until I got over it and that had to be pretty quick because well the bathroom was yelling my name lol I'm finally up and glad that thought is gone away. I don't want to smoke anymore so im not. I thought real hard in my last relapse. I focused on it the smell, the burn, the taste the grossness built up in the filter not to mention my lungs and mouth and all of which is unappealing to me. When I think of "just one" now I remember my last one and how that's not me anymore. Have a great hump day!

MePlus3

Inconsistency

Posted by MePlus3 May 30, 2017

Trying again today...I have no excuses. I started this morning off with a prayer and a big breakfast with a large cup of water. I also plan on working out when it gets tough. Theres something in my personality I'm impulsive and inconsistent which is no good combination for my quit saving grace is im also hopeful and believe despite those shortcomings I will quit for good! No looking back. Yes its taking me more tries than I personally desire but im not giving up. I think of my quit as a gift to myself a stronghold that has been broken. I have a winning feeling inside when I get through tough things smoke free. Im starting to see the light concerning my depression. I got dressed yesterday put on a little lipstick and actually felt better than I have in a long time. Today I have alot more energy im feeling better im not on edge and angry at the slightest "hello" anymore.  Im going to clean up play music sing maybe even dance but I wont smoke. I know y'all have heard this out of me too many times before but I want to thank you for believing in me even when I found it hard to believe in myself.