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The truth

Posted by Mandolinrain Apr 12, 2020

Where my words come from?

I don’t know


How long will it take

I don’t know


When will t be over 

I cant say


It is different for us all..

Perhaps ….. days


What will it feel like?

Feels like you're  doomed.


When will it pass?

Not too soon.


Is there hope I can quit?

Absolutely yes.


But i’ts been years I have smoked, are you sure it can be done?

Yes is the answer, and no its not fun.


I challenge you, today is the day.

Keep on smoking or throw them away.


Of tomorrow, what will you say?

I hope it is the choice…to throw them away.


The thing is, its different for us all. Some suffer longer than others. I personally believe the more I  understood the addiction the better I did ...Alan Carrs book ( The EASYWAY TO QUIT SMOKING) was so helpful, but that's my story; There SO MANY GOOD QUIT STORIES o here, look a them all and find one that fits you.


No matter what quit method you decide on, it will work if you work it. It all about CHOICE. Make one.

With so much social distancing going on, many of us have some extra time now we can set aside and reflect well as our quits. Why we ever started, why  it took so long to quit...why once we decided to quit, smoking can just never be the same. Ever. We have all felt that at one time or another , I suspect.


I am taking more time to do this. Less Computer and Less TV time. 

More reflection.


It's an excellent time to 'Study' an area of your life that needs development, be it Spiritual-Personal-Your quit or whatever area you choose.

For me , in this time of pandemic and uncertainties, I am choosing 

'Gratitude/ Blessings', as I see them all in the same light.


YOU are ALL 'Blessings to me and I am grateful for the impressions you have all given to me'. It reminds me especially today, Good Friday', that while our Lord is not on the Cross anymore, He is still present in my life and very active. He is still in control.


And while I may never meet all of you, I take you all with me in my thoughts daily as you all continue to remind me why I do not smoke anymore and why I never will, so help me God. I feel so Blessed that God has put you all in my life.


Be blessed, be grateful, Count your Blessings. 



God is Good


I'm back!

Posted by Mandolinrain Apr 9, 2020

Marty ( my hubby cousin) is still making improvements and we are all grateful for your prayers. He is off the Vent and woke up thinking it was 2013. Yikes!


Had the storm here ( the twins....we call them Thunder and lighting ) and they left yesterday. I am one tired Nana but I am healthy, so not complaining. I plan on doing some painting this afternoon, which i have not done any in what seems like weeks.


Got SNOW this morning, but it stopped and turned to rain. Now sun is out. Yesterday it was 70. Go figure.


My indoor gardening project is doing well. I have all my outdoor garden beds ready as soon as ground warms up a bit more. I do have cold veggies in already


My Dog Nico, is in heaven with me home all the time. He and I walk outside everyday. 


I hardly ever listen to the news, its just a downer. So I only go out when I absolutely must and I dawn mask, protective eyewear and gloves. I have become best friends with Bleach water. Nothing comes in our house without being wiped down. I am thinking of making a 'decontamination entry' area ...pretty much already have, Even shoes don't come inside our home. This too shall pass....just like gas,'s gotta go eventually


Have missed all of you. Will be around more now that 'THE STORM' has passed....until they blow back in, lol

Just thought I would pass these idea's on~


Order a BIDET. I did. $29.00 on Amazon. My friends got them and love them and said they were very easy to install. Message me if you want the info on the one I got. No electric needed.


ANOTHER TP IDEA: Buy regular napkins or face tissue and dispose of them in extra plastic grocery bags that grocers put your groceries in.


Use DISHWASHING GLOVES. I bought a pair for 99 cents and they last along time. Re-useable.  I put them on when I go to grocery and as soon as I get home I fill my sink with diluted bleach water. I then wipe down EVERYTHING I bring inside before I take them off. I also wipe down my steering wheel and car things I touch as well as ALL the bags. I put the plastic bags into a box to re-use. I keep these gloves in my truck.


NO MASKS? I use a scarf around my face/mouth/ nose and it goes directly to washer machine when I come home BEFORE I remove my gloves. I keep extra of those also in the truck.


I also use vinegar.baking soda to wash off produce.


Hope these tips help someone.






Actually this is a perfect time to quit. I remember having thoughts when I was contemplating quitting smoking years ago. I used to say to myself and friends

"The only way it will work for me is if you put me on a desert island alone so I can't be around others and be tempted" island had arrived but gratefully I quit back in 2014....but hey...the island is still unoccupied, so go...if your still a smoker.


When I was in the store I noticed how much the price of cigarettes are now. $2.00 more than I paid before I quit. Wow, and I thought $6.00 a pack then was high.

Anyway, so now with all the self isolation, perhaps it could be added incentive to quit. That and this horrible COVID-19 is especially hard the lungs.

So if you are looking for an excuse to quit....this would be it. Find your Island.


PS: Currently you are allowed to leave your island for essential items, however Nicotine is forbidden.


Stay home and stay healthy

First off thanks everyone for the thoughtful words, cards and such for my husbands cousin who is still hospitalized with COVID-19. He is awake and remains on a Ventilator. His lungs are improving. I am a firm believer in prayers, so thank you all for that.


Anyway, since we are mainly self isolating, we have been walking the dog out in our woods and the area Reservoir each day a couple hours. Good for all of us.

Today being our 40 year wedding Anny, we had plans to travel but as you know, we , like every other American , are staying home...or close to. Pete bought me a beautiful Mothers Ring with our boys stones in it and all our grandchildren. I got him a Nice Timex watch that he can wear when working out in woods. ( We prefer being outside than inside)....although I don't have any experience like Giulia with a chainsaw , except for ONE TIME when Pete was out of town and I ws forced to use one to get fallen limbs off of the pasture fencing so horses would not escape.....I am a very good 'stacker' of wood . I will leave the handling of those saws to folks like G, they scare me a bit... I don't mind using a hack saw though, lol. So we are cleaning up our woods and its great exercise also


So tonight we are having sweet potatoes and Black Angus Steaks and spinach salad for supper to celebrate.

 Looks like we wont be seeing kids for awhile if this so called lockdown happens. So I have been working on starting my garden plants indoors. I may really get into this indoor garden thing for all year.

Also was reading about harvesting rain water last night for the heck of it, even though we have a propane house generator. One easy way is simply using an inside down umbrella over a bucket ( food approved bucket) to collect rain water...which is actually better than rain barrels that collect water from spouting. No filter needed. Who knew?

Lots to do and study and learn. Anyway, I think I will be online more now. Kids are all bak home. Stay well and in touch. Aren't you glad the one item we DON'T need to stock up on is the stinky ciggs? Wow....I sure am! N.O.P.E.

Love to all~Missy


Just because

Posted by Mandolinrain Mar 17, 2020

And who would know

Or even care 

Or want to understand

Unless they walked

Within my shoes

And be here as I am


The former me

Who once belonged

To those excused from certainties

Within the circles of smoke exhaled

From them

And then from me


Theres this and that

To and fro

And where I once came from

Theres here and now

And forever gone

Yet forever here somehow


I believe

By end of day

When all is said and done

I did my best

Now I rest

For today

Is this day won








Ski Mammoth

See the Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart

Go to Alaska.....not a cruise...I want to see all of it

See Big Sky Montana ( I think we are going this fall )

Get published-children book

Go to Ireland

Learn how to fly fish

Learn Cello...and learn it well

Try out for area symphony with flute....working on that presently.

Hike Pacific Crest Trail

Create an awesome English cutting garden 

Make many fun art and music memories for my grandchildren-teach them about horses, how to ride etc...




These are some of mine....what are some of yours?

To the new folks quitting~

Sometimes what is right in front of us and so very obvious is what we CHOOSE to ignore.

But the truth is in front of us....its in your heart of hearts. You know it to be true. You may deny it outright, but deep is there. You know you have to really pull from somewhere DEEP inside to resolve to address whatever it is thats holding you from 'just doing it'.


Today, write a letter to you and then one to the smokes. Be true to YOU for a change and decide it is time to make the house that stores your very essence the very best it can be...because you are worth it. YOU deserve to be free.


After you write the letters I want you to find a special container to put the letter in. Whenever the craves pulls you deeply into its claws, I want you to retrieve the letter. Look at to as though it was written to and about someone you love ( for it actually is).





Because :

If you don't take care of your body, where will you live?

Russian Roulette always comes to an end and it's never pretty.


ALL Ohio schools closing

Posted by Mandolinrain Mar 12, 2020

Starting Monday all Ohio schools will be closed for 3 weeks. They also have all events over 100 people cancelled until further notice and all Sport tournaments included. I actually am grateful they are doing this.

JACKIE1-25-15 ~ Jackie's sister passed yesterday morning from extended illness.


Jackie, we love you and am sending much love and prayers your way.




Smoking Thoughts

Posted by Mandolinrain Mar 5, 2020

Where did to come from,

that thought now ,to smoke

I'm finished with them

so be gone you ole bloke


I threw you away months ago and never looked back

Yet here you are begging me to take back your crap

I don’t need the headache, the sickness with wheeze

I don’t want you haunting me so go away please


Your nothing but trouble

and I have quite enough

So I’ll do the right thing

and put my Ex friends on your butt


I’ll go to the site and I’ll scream out for help 

You better take heed

cause they’ll give you the belt


They will build me up stronger

than you could ever imagine 

while You tuck your tail running

in a probable Fashion


You’ll go away 

and I just grow stronger 

with hardly a thought of you 

to bug me any longer


See thats what we do here

Ex at its best,

Hang onto us 

When Smoking thoughts give you no rest


Where has it gone now.

That thought that told you to smoke?

It left when you came here

Cause we gave you a poke


Keep coming back

Someones always here

Someday someone will be leaning on you  to help

Them in their fear.


Meanwhile….stay near.

Let me know when you find it, meanwhile I won’t hold my breath.

It has been MY experience that the’easy way out and through” have bad end results. 


Now Alan Carr did write a cool book called ‘THE EASYWAY TO QUIT SMOKING’ and if there is such a thing as THE EASY WAY’, pinch me please. No, kick me.

I loved the book though. I do give it alot of credit for helping me finally ‘get it’. AND THAT, I supposes was what the EASYWAY was….FOR ME. Getting it. KNOWLEDGE. Things I never knew about the addiction that gave me an AH-HA moment. THAT was what I needed.


Folks, you can search until the sun sets and rises a million times for an easy way to quit smoking but wouldn’t it just be easier to take some time and learn the WHYS of addiction? Then perhaps an inventory of how the ‘WHYS’are  keeping you hooked?

To me, anyway, THAT IS the easy way to quit smoking. Understand your enemy, prepare for the battle ahead of time then go to the front lines and pursue your quit with all the knowledge and artillery that you stored up and WIN!


Or you can keep banging your head on the wall and keep traveling the same ole mountain because I promise you….its going nowhere.

Quitting smoking is just plain hard. If it was just plain easy, there would be no use for this site.


All the aides in the world will not quit for you. Sure they may soften the blow but the blow will still come. Its the KNOWLEDGE about this addiction that will give you the BEST LASTING results, IN MY OPINION, anyway.


Understand your enemy. Look ahead at what you set yourself up for each time you put a dose of nicotine into your system no matter what source it is…nicotine is nicotine packaged in a variety of ways.

So now here comes the part where I share with you that THIS is what I needed to quit. This is what worked for me. No easy way. Even with the  knowledge, I still had to make choices.


The choices were so much more eventful though ( once I read Carrs book) because I understood the challenge of war I was going to be fighting. I was determined to go in and fight for myself. I was worth it. YOU are worth it. Learning that each time I puffed I awoke the enemy and set myself up for the next desire....priceless. Its exactly what I needed to hear to quit the head banging.


The Military has boot camp to prepare the soldiers before going to war… have us.


Theres many many a way to win this nicotine war. I have yet to hear an EASYWAY, but I do know from experience, the only way out is through....and a huge dose of knowledge may provide an easier path to follow.

Just a thought.

Thank you all for all the condolences and prayers on @elvans post.

I am going to try to post the poem I wrote thats going to be read in the morning at my Mother in laws funeral, if I can figure out how to post it. 


Its been hectic as we have a lot of California family members staying with us, feeding everyone, keeping up with laundry, and getting the small apartment at the assistant living home packed and going through things, wow. Tears come and go but the cool thing is how everyone is pulling together to make it all happen. I must share this with you though....... :


Marylou, died Tuesday late afternoon. I knew it was coming and one of her daughters was flying into the airport a couple hours away that afternoon so I offered to go get her so her other children and my husband could be at her bedside. It was a long foggy rainy drive.

So I het to Cleveland Hopkins and ALL of the parking garages were FULL!!! i PANIACKED and circled the airport 3 times sobbing because it was getting dark and I didnt know where to go. I finally saw a police cruiser pulled off to the side and they directed me to Valet parking by departing flights. THEN i got into the airport and United Airlines saw how distressed I was they gave me a special pass to go through security to meet Petes sister who had a broken arm......


ON THE WAY walking down to the gate which was a LONG phone rang and I got word Marylou passed and I nearly fell down. I just stood there looking like an idiot and sobbed. Then a wonderful person in a golf cart came and asked me if she could help me. I explained to her what had happened and I was so exhausted and so sad. She gave me a ride to the gate and said when she dropped me off she would be back before Sues flight arrived and she would give is BOTH a ride to valet parking and take care of us.




i had left my purse on the cart and sobbed over the only she DID return. As this lovely angel sat and waited with me we shared stories of her own losses. She lost both parents, and all of her siblings. She had never been married and had no body left. We cried together. Because of her kindness to me I am offered to paint her deceased loved ones. We exchanged phone numbers and already have reached out to each other.


Nobody can tell me God does not have a plan. God used us both to bless each other. I serve an awesome God





God made a beautiful Mother

The day He created you

A strong woman of faith and grace

Who touched every heart she knew


Determined and strong willed

Who fearcly loved her family

She spent many a night in prayer 

For us on bended knee


She spoke her mind freely

She was clear, that

 family-faith and friends

Was where her heart was focused 

From the beginning up to her end


I know our family was influenced

By the woman that she was

As was anyone who knew her,

I say this because…….


Tomorrow is never promised

Life can take us by surprise

Hold tight to all whom love you…

Cherish them inside


Forgive the hurts 

and love each other

That is exactly what she’d say

I know this  because we talked of this

What seems like yesterday


She would want you all to know

She’s in peace now……. with her love…

Her Beloved husband Peter Francis

And Heavenly Father above.


Our tears for her will come and go 

in unexpected ways

Lets make them count and honor her

For this legacy that she laid.


I love you Mommalou and I will never forget you 




So I packed my bag...

Posted by Mandolinrain Feb 22, 2020

This afternoon, Hospice that my husbands Mother is doing poorly. So at the request of Hospice, I packed my bag. They asked if someone could stay the night with here I am and there's nowhere I would rather be. This woman raised a beautiful family, raised 7 children ( one set of triplets). We have always been very close. She has been an outstanding woman to learn from and I have much respect for her.

When we arrived her color is very Ashey, her breathing rapid and raspy. I know these signs. Her O2 Sat is 70. I sat with my dear Nana as she experienced this. Her abdomen is very very swollen although she probably weights 90#s.  Her extremities very cold due to the blood trying hard to maintain her vital organs. It is what happens, it is what it is.

I go in and turn her every 2 hours so decubitus ulcers do not begin, I swab her dry mouth and apply vasoline to her dry lips and try to offer pudding fluids or whatever. She is in an Assisted Living apartment and they are wonderful to her. Hospice comes once a day also.

I guess I am just feeling sad. She is nearly 95 . She's had a good life.  She never smoked and was so proud of me when I quit and when I cut off my long hair recently, lol. I just spent an hour with her neighbor in the room next door who is 97. She was glorious and fascinating. I should hope to grow old in such a fashion. I am a Katherine Hepburn type. No fancy stuff anew, just me as I am. Yeah I just cut off my hair, but now that all the fake color is gone I am letting it grow as long as it wants to. Anyway ,her neighbor is so cool. My mind is all over the place in thought right now sorry for any confusion.

We called her daughters and other son in California who are coming n tomorrow and they always stay with us. If I am not on EX for awhile, that's why.

I am just sad this evening and sharing. I will be fine. What I wouldn't give for a glass of Vino right now, ugh! But....hell, I am okay.

Just say some prayers. I really think its a matter of hours/days, pretty certain of that. She is a devote Catholic so I am thinking perhaps to call her church n the morning should they want  to visit. Not sure its the thing to do, but I will anyway.


So, I leave you with this :

Never wait until it is too late to tell the ones you love, that you love them. Make time to listen to them. Make time . I have and I am so glad I did. 

Because like Dust in the wind, anyone of us could die at anytime, nothing is promised. Keep forgiveness and peace in the forefront of your days, hours and minutes as you can never gain them back.


YOU ALL are loved by me. I have had the honor to meet and talk t some of you and I just want you to know I appreciate everyone of you. You are ALL gifts to my heart in different ways.


Goodnight, sleep tight , XOXO