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All People > Mandolinrain > Mandolinrain Blog > 2020 > February

Thank you all for all the condolences and prayers on @elvans post.

I am going to try to post the poem I wrote thats going to be read in the morning at my Mother in laws funeral, if I can figure out how to post it. 


Its been hectic as we have a lot of California family members staying with us, feeding everyone, keeping up with laundry, and getting the small apartment at the assistant living home packed and going through things, wow. Tears come and go but the cool thing is how everyone is pulling together to make it all happen. I must share this with you though....... :


Marylou, died Tuesday late afternoon. I knew it was coming and one of her daughters was flying into the airport a couple hours away that afternoon so I offered to go get her so her other children and my husband could be at her bedside. It was a long foggy rainy drive.

So I het to Cleveland Hopkins and ALL of the parking garages were FULL!!! i PANIACKED and circled the airport 3 times sobbing because it was getting dark and I didnt know where to go. I finally saw a police cruiser pulled off to the side and they directed me to Valet parking by departing flights. THEN i got into the airport and United Airlines saw how distressed I was they gave me a special pass to go through security to meet Petes sister who had a broken arm......


ON THE WAY walking down to the gate which was a LONG phone rang and I got word Marylou passed and I nearly fell down. I just stood there looking like an idiot and sobbed. Then a wonderful person in a golf cart came and asked me if she could help me. I explained to her what had happened and I was so exhausted and so sad. She gave me a ride to the gate and said when she dropped me off she would be back before Sues flight arrived and she would give is BOTH a ride to valet parking and take care of us.




i had left my purse on the cart and sobbed over the only she DID return. As this lovely angel sat and waited with me we shared stories of her own losses. She lost both parents, and all of her siblings. She had never been married and had no body left. We cried together. Because of her kindness to me I am offered to paint her deceased loved ones. We exchanged phone numbers and already have reached out to each other.


Nobody can tell me God does not have a plan. God used us both to bless each other. I serve an awesome God





God made a beautiful Mother

The day He created you

A strong woman of faith and grace

Who touched every heart she knew


Determined and strong willed

Who fearcly loved her family

She spent many a night in prayer 

For us on bended knee


She spoke her mind freely

She was clear, that

 family-faith and friends

Was where her heart was focused 

From the beginning up to her end


I know our family was influenced

By the woman that she was

As was anyone who knew her,

I say this because…….


Tomorrow is never promised

Life can take us by surprise

Hold tight to all whom love you…

Cherish them inside


Forgive the hurts 

and love each other

That is exactly what she’d say

I know this  because we talked of this

What seems like yesterday


She would want you all to know

She’s in peace now……. with her love…

Her Beloved husband Peter Francis

And Heavenly Father above.


Our tears for her will come and go 

in unexpected ways

Lets make them count and honor her

For this legacy that she laid.


I love you Mommalou and I will never forget you 




So I packed my bag...

Posted by Mandolinrain Feb 22, 2020

This afternoon, Hospice that my husbands Mother is doing poorly. So at the request of Hospice, I packed my bag. They asked if someone could stay the night with here I am and there's nowhere I would rather be. This woman raised a beautiful family, raised 7 children ( one set of triplets). We have always been very close. She has been an outstanding woman to learn from and I have much respect for her.

When we arrived her color is very Ashey, her breathing rapid and raspy. I know these signs. Her O2 Sat is 70. I sat with my dear Nana as she experienced this. Her abdomen is very very swollen although she probably weights 90#s.  Her extremities very cold due to the blood trying hard to maintain her vital organs. It is what happens, it is what it is.

I go in and turn her every 2 hours so decubitus ulcers do not begin, I swab her dry mouth and apply vasoline to her dry lips and try to offer pudding fluids or whatever. She is in an Assisted Living apartment and they are wonderful to her. Hospice comes once a day also.

I guess I am just feeling sad. She is nearly 95 . She's had a good life.  She never smoked and was so proud of me when I quit and when I cut off my long hair recently, lol. I just spent an hour with her neighbor in the room next door who is 97. She was glorious and fascinating. I should hope to grow old in such a fashion. I am a Katherine Hepburn type. No fancy stuff anew, just me as I am. Yeah I just cut off my hair, but now that all the fake color is gone I am letting it grow as long as it wants to. Anyway ,her neighbor is so cool. My mind is all over the place in thought right now sorry for any confusion.

We called her daughters and other son in California who are coming n tomorrow and they always stay with us. If I am not on EX for awhile, that's why.

I am just sad this evening and sharing. I will be fine. What I wouldn't give for a glass of Vino right now, ugh! But....hell, I am okay.

Just say some prayers. I really think its a matter of hours/days, pretty certain of that. She is a devote Catholic so I am thinking perhaps to call her church n the morning should they want  to visit. Not sure its the thing to do, but I will anyway.


So, I leave you with this :

Never wait until it is too late to tell the ones you love, that you love them. Make time to listen to them. Make time . I have and I am so glad I did. 

Because like Dust in the wind, anyone of us could die at anytime, nothing is promised. Keep forgiveness and peace in the forefront of your days, hours and minutes as you can never gain them back.


YOU ALL are loved by me. I have had the honor to meet and talk t some of you and I just want you to know I appreciate everyone of you. You are ALL gifts to my heart in different ways.


Goodnight, sleep tight , XOXO





This is some of the Sunshine in my life, our twin grand-daughters, and one of our grandsons. Love these kids SO MUCH!

I'm sitting here catching up on some paper work with the soft sounds of the Best of Chicago playing in the background. Love that band!

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone. The sun is out and life is good and I am not a smoker anymore. 




One of my dearest friends is a lover of birds and has many of her own and rescues birds also. Anyway...

A couple days ago she asked me if I would drive with her to Detroit Michigan to go see a bird she found advertised on Craigslist. Usually I would go on these trips with her but this week is exceptionally busy for me and I couldn't go.


As I was sharing this with my husband he had the simplest solution for her. he said " Did you tell her theres lots of birds in Ohio". It was pretty funny in the moment but then thinking about was so darn simple as well.


Perhaps simplicity is all any of us need at any given time for any given situation. Perhaps we all need to jump in the backseat and focus more on whats right in front of us. Perhaps that may lead us out of the fear inside driven by the unknown...including the fears to quit smoking. 


Perhaps a bit of simplicity would allow us to quit directing every single thing and allow us to just bathe in, rest in the very moment all allow healing from whatever hectic matter is going on in ur life.

After all...just like the birds in Michigan and Ohio, everything we need is already of part of us. We just need to learn how to tap into being quiet enough to look inside and find it. In a world of computers, cell phones and crazy...we often forget to just slow down and rest. Stop rushing-planning-learn to be more patient. Live without your computer or phone for a day, I dare you. I do it from time to time and its liberating and makes me focus on things I normally would not that need my attention.


Just my thoughts this morning as I ready myself for work. Happy Hump Day!


PS: My friend ended up not going to Michigan and she did find a bird in Ohio

Worked all day at Hospice thrift store, had a lot of areas that needed organized and such but felt so good to be doing it. Will be doing it again tomorrow all day and then Wednesday, which is my normal day to work there.


Hubby and I went out to dinner tonight and standing outside of Mexican Restuarant when we left were a half dozen young folks smoking away. Stunk so bad.


I had a good day today. I made good choices, I didn't smoke and was just a dandy day.

We have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Life is uncertain. I could die, you could die. We have no control over such things. We do have choices though. Tomorrow has no promises and it will come no matter if you smoke or not. Things you like and dislike will happen or not. Are you ready? Are we ever ready? Non smokers have to deal with it as well. So they have choices as do we. Lets agree to make good choices.


We can choose to get through one day smoke free. We can choose to find ways to bless someone less fortunate than us. Maybe that's what we should be shooting for...ways to bless doing so perhaps it will help reinforce better daily choices over all. Our choices each day...thats what brings it all together, don't cha think? Think about it.


Worth a try? Beats smoking

Happy Monday Evening and goodnight.

Missy 1980 DOF 

So here's your Monthly reminder......If you have ONE YEAR OR MORE of being free of Nicotine...then this is for you:


These tokens are made from Vintage Silver-plate Silverware. I make keychains and/or Necklace pendant that you provide a chain for to wear. On them I engrave your Quit date and your 'HANDLE' name that you use on this site.


I have made over 100 and sent out..even over seas. Theres is absolutely no charge to you. This is my way to give back and support a community I dearly love.


All you have to do is message me a mailing address. It can be a PO Box, a work address, whatever...I give my word not to share that information with anyone.


Heres a picture of my necklace below. They all vary in design and occasionally I will use a fork.....anyway, whatever.... Have a great Super Sunday and N.O.P.E.

Missy~'Mandolinrain' ~1979 DOF