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All People > Mandolinrain > Mandolinrain Blog > 2020 > January

Death Stood by

Posted by Mandolinrain Jan 20, 2020

( I wrote this awhile back, thought I'd share )


Death stood by

Waiting patiently

"Go ahead", it said , "Smoke 1-2 or 3"

"I don't care" it chanted , "If you smoke them all...

Because by choosing me I'll lead to your fall"


"Inside your brain where chemicals seep" it continued...

"I'll bond to the weakness and there I will keep....

All your will power, yes I will teach you to lack

I'll feed it more Nicotine with the rest of the crap....


I will betray you and make you believe

You can't do anything without's me that you need....."


This death had a name the more I explored

And in the form of a cigarette, I just wanted more.


Then came a day I threw in the towel

I reached out to Ex and they taught me 'How'...

I flipped and I flopped until I got it right

I fought through many tears 

I put up a good fight


I did ALL of the homework

And never looked back

The Elders stayed by my side

I wanted what they had.


DEATH is still here, waiting patiently

"Go ahead" still whispers,

"Smoke 1-2 or 3..."

But now I am stronger with more knowledge inside

So I won't be choosing the death sticks

No, not taking that ride....


I come here with my Ex friends

I've learned from the best

I take what I need and I leave the rest 










I know , I know... I am a couple days early, but here they are anyway. I think if more people practiced these our world would be  so much nicer and our problems fewer. What are your favorite Quotes by MLK ?



Have a nice weekend. We are in midst of freezing rain, our entire woods is all iced up, its pretty till it starts popping, yuk. Staying home today. Supposed to change to snow and go down to 15 degrees here tonight!

I have been in touch with our Ellen, elvan in regards to getting a photo from her to paint for the Wall of Elders. I don't check my mail everyday but I just did and she did send one.


HOWEVER, she is in MUCH discomfort and pain and having very labored breathing. It truly scares me. One of the pics she sent was a live feed and I could see the very labored breathing and pain in her beautiful face, it made me cry, seriously, and I feel so helpless. As many know she has had partial lobe removal of both lungs, I believe, in the past


So please you guys, there's power when more people pray, I believe. Lift her ups as she has given so much to this community.  She ALWAYS made time to encourage and greet each and every new person on this site, but lately her health has not allowed her to be as active.


Please pray for healing comfort and any and all assistance she needs right now.

I know she would be on this site more if she was up to it. Please please pray

Thank you~






Are you Fading Away...???

Posted by Mandolinrain Jan 11, 2020

You may not realize it, but you may be fading away of you're still smoking.


It ( Nicotine ) will beat you, it's only a matter of time....UNLESS you beat it first.


 "The way I see it, If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain" 

(By Dolly Parton)



This side of the rainbow is well worth the rain and storms.

We are here to help you over



Permission to FEEL

Posted by Mandolinrain Jan 9, 2020

Smoking was a release for me. I relaxed and felt in touch with myself or so I thought so.


I smoked to feel the fullness of what ever emotion I was experiencing. Joy, sadness, guilt, shame, loss, grief, happiness, love,….all of it was celebrated with a smoke.

So when I quit I was extremely a mess of mixed emotion. HOW would I get through day to day, hour to hour…there was nothing to ‘catch’ me, nowhere to find comfort. I assumed I would live forever uncomfortable. Forever stressed when I quit.

Now I do have a strong faith in God and although I never quit believing during that time, I found that faith was never applied to its fullest until I did actually let go and let God and for that I am forever grateful but, I am speaking of something different here….


Smoking took away all my inhibitions of all feelings really. It denied me to feel when I thought it was allowing me to feel. I see that now as I am well into my quit headed to my 6th year, in fact.


The next time you worry your losing this battle to quit or think you will miss smoking…remind yourself this…Nicotine is nothing more than a drug. A drug that steels lives everyday.

Its been lying to you each time you light up. Its a great deceiver and the tobacco companies want you to stay hooked so they can line their fancy pockets with your hard earned money as you get more and more dependent on them to feed your crave. They WANT your ‘feelings’ to be weak to stay dependent to them.


Yes, quitting is very hard. Yes you will struggle, but then comes the day you don’t anymore. And thats because it beats you or you beat it.


Stick around…we will help you beat IT. Stay committed and one more thing…..


Today I feel EVERYTHING, in such a BEAUTIFUL full way I never dreamed possible. Its so much more valuable now to me than it ever was when I smoked and I mean that and speak it from the bottom of my heart.


We are worth our quits and YOU are worth it. Don’t let the tobacco companies have one more penny or day of your life or steel you Feelings anymore.



Missy 1956 DOF and you bet I am proud of it!

Heidi Ho Friends!!! I had a wonderful Holiday and little time to make tokens, but now it's 2020, a New Year upon us and I am ready to get caught up!


For those who are new to Ex or plain just not heard of these......I make them for ANYONE  ( QUITNETTERS....YOUR INCLUDED IN THIS) who has at least ONE FULL YEAR QUIT of Nicotine. They are made from Vintage Silver-plated Silverware. I engrave them with your 'EX Handle name' as well as your quit date.  They are 100% FREE to you. It is my way to give back to a community that has always been here for me. It also is one of the ways I maintain my vigilance for my own quit of a little over 5 years. ( yay me )


You just need to PRIVATE MESSAGE me your mailing address, which can also be a work address if you prefer. I NEVER share your address, Ever. I will private message you back with a USPS Tracking number when it has been mailed to you.


All that Hoopla out of the way now....Here are the ones going out in the mail tomorrow :

Ralph1955  , abbynormal42  , Beck37 

( I will message you guys tracking numbers tomorrow)


I usually do a monthly shout out blog to remind people if they are getting near their year. But if I miss a month don't hesitate to message me


Have the best, wonderful , safe , healthy and SMOKE FREE new year EVER!!!





And so its a New year

What will you do?

Will you keep on smoking?

It will kill you


Do you have a plan now?

You know we are here

Waiting to sooth you

When you start to fear 


And so its a new year

You've only begun

A new year smoke free

The new year to be won


Please try to stay near us

When things get heavy

Let us surround you

And take you away


Put on your armor

Be ready to fight

We are here with you

Everyday and night


Oh yes its your time now

The New Years begun

When you get weary

To this site you run


And we are here waiting

Hands outreached to you

Lets do this together

My New Year prayer for you