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39 years

Posted by Mandolinrain Mar 22, 2019

I'm sorry I have been away....we have had a lot of things going on and company right now,,,,,but I had to stop by to let you know my sweetheart and I are celebrating 39 years of marriage today


Everyone said it would never last. Pete and I only dated 3 months prior to ( and no , I was not pregnant). We just knew.

 Anyway...I am also excited that he is joining me to come to EX 7 

( my first Ex reunion ) and we cannot wait to meet all those coming.

Pete had been my Strongman and advocate in my Quit Journey. The funny thing is, he smoked when we met and I was not a smoker then...I became one, yet he quit long before I did, in 2014.


Anyway ,due to company right now, I'm not going to be online much for another week. Petes Mom and my Mom both having health issues we are busy handling  as well as our elderly Merlin ( Italian Mastiff) needing to be put down soon. So I will get here when I can after all of this. 

Giulia will update ,for me as needed right now, as I have a full plate, but please KNOW I AM WELL and I DO say prayers for ALL OF YOU EVERY NIGHT~

Love to all~Missy


PS...The rose pic above is a 'Miranda Lambert' rose that I highly recommend if you a gardener



Look for the Blessings

Posted by Mandolinrain Mar 13, 2019

I keep wondering when things are gonna slow down.

Yet, I am making a decision to NOT SMOKE, no matter what.

I figure everything going on in my life has a purpose and I suspect in yours as well.


I have been taking care if elderly Mother in law, many Dr. Appts and ER visits with her as of recent~Grandchildren~ My my own mothers needs ( she's 89~ recent death of the man who was my Father, who was not in my life ( his choice , he adopted me out at very early age) but still.....

Trying to read posts with on eye, because right eye is still blurry and inconsistent.

Today I worked at Hospice and an Elderly woman who works with us became ill, so I drove her home and she broke down in tears and needs help finding a new living  situation and  I am feeling horrible knowing its not my place, but I do want to help her, yet I am very consumed right now with my own family.


Yadda-yadda yadda and to tell you matter how bad I think I have it, I can be sure someone else is n much more need of prayer and help than me.


So I leave you all with this tonight. I am not smoking and frankly the thought had occurred to me today ONCE. I did recognize the pull right away and was reminded of the territory it would pull me back into should I cave. No way. I am dog tired and I need to go to bed. Tomorrow more appts I have to take Mother too. But then I thought of this:


The ones here who are ALSO going through battles and loses, Thomas, Barb, Gwenivere, Anaussiemom, Strudle, Ellen,....and many others not noted here....see  we are not alone.


While my battle right now isn't perhaps your battle, these battles will always come and go so long as I breath in air. Smoking or not. Battles will come. Some will drain us temporarily, while some leave us numb for months to follow.


Its important to recognize we all have our own healing times and to be patient with each other and to also recognize, we all have different histories that can make our battle sos unique to each of us, as we are truly 'Unique' and worthy.


I dunno, I think I am rambling here. But this is such a great place to bleed your heart when you need to. Some folks get me  some don't. God 'gets me, so I am okay with that. As I told a dear Elder friend recently, sometimes its easier to unload to people you have never met than it is to the ones you have always known.


Not that I am unloading. I am just so tired physically and mentally so I am going to bed early. 


I believe the point I am trying to relay in this sloppy post is this : Life happens and always will. The choice to smoke over 'LIFE', will always present an option.

Taking the high road and 'optioning out to NOT smoke' over any given situation is the choice I am making. It was damn hard my first year, I will not lie....but I stuck it out.  


It's EASY to say screw it, and smoke. What comes easy won't last....what lasts, won't come easy.


I feel better already. Just remember, theres ALWAYS another person who has it worse than you. Go help that person. In doing help yourself.


Look for the Blessings you DO have and make that your focus.....that and seeing how you can Bless another soul. Your choices will improve if you do, I promise.


Good grief and good night!

Speech: “To be, or not to be, that is the question


(from Hamlet, spoken by Hamlet)


To be, or not to be, that is the question:
To Smoke or not to smoke, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
Shall I suffer ....or not?
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Life coming at me in so many directions,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
Whats my choice?
And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
Or no, but maybe?
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
I am consumed with fear-pain and remorse
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
I am consumed
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
I cant take it anymore
To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.
Give up....or fight. Decide I am worth it
Choice. All Mine.
Tears.....all mine. Broken, inside...but repairable, I know in time. Should I allow myself that choice? Am I strong enough to make the choice that may save me from myself.
One choice. One day at a time. One second at a time. 
Look ahead before you fall and realize the consequence follows every single choice you ever make. 
What comes easy won't last
What lasts....won't come easy
YES, if your reading this, you are worth it

3 YEARS for Daniela

Posted by Mandolinrain Mar 11, 2019






Evaluate your Quit

Posted by Mandolinrain Mar 8, 2019

Jumping right in to your quit can be a good thing if you are really ready to get serious and down to business. Being educated, knowledgeable and prepared, as we often suggest when new members arrive to the site.


We send notes of encouragement. We offer our own stories of what did or did not produce success for us. We give your unconditional support, knowing you have to do this ( Quit ) your way. We provide many links to get started and suggested reading material.


Evaluating your Quit is something we cannot do for you


I believe it is a critical step once you start your day One ( Won ), and should followed through everyday thereafter. It's my personal believe that whatever day-month-years..... you are presently on in your quit, you will maintain your quit , happily I might add, if you continue to evaluate where you are right now and be willing to try something new or make any necessary changes as they develop.


Be ready to forgive yourself and others in your life in the process. Be ready to move forward and remember where you were for growths sake, but don't stare in the rearview mirror unless you want an accident to happen.

Evaluation includes : Determining the significance, quality and worth of your present day quit....perhaps you can add to this list.


This is just something I am noticing in my own life as I continue to evolve. I thought it was worth sharing. I never want to go back to being a smoker. I am grateful to be where I am today in journey and am looking forward to all the tomorrows I give myself by remaining quit.


Have a great Friday & N.O.P.E.


Uh yeah...okay...really?


Does not sound too encouraging, does it?


It works if you work it and if your gonna suggest to tell people what to do, you better be doing it yourself. Kinda, sorta. We make mistakes too.


The best thing any of us Elders can do is share our truth, our experience with you. Take it, leave it, taste it, try it or spit it out. We are not force feeding you, but we have been where your at now. Some of us cold turkey, some NRT,,,same results....we made it. Dun smoking'! We also went through trial and error periods during our quits...just like you.


Choose your path and stay the course. Theres only a  fork in the road if you choose it. Our path is really clear.. tuff at times, but ever steady and full of compassion and support. We are here to tell you we made it and you can too.


If you have already quit...think of this: if you 'give in' and will be right back to....Wishing you were..... where you are today.


If you are having trouble on the course of staying nicotine free....then be an encourager. Get active on this site. Stay active on this site.


By encouraging free yourself.

Simple~ I myself, adore simplicity.

Do yourself a favor. Be free.

Your choice~Your dance


Sweet dreams ~Missy