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Surgery date finally set

Posted by Mandolinrain Oct 25, 2018

This has been a crazy medical year for me but FINALLY the surgery I need to have done has been approved by my insurance and the Date has been set.


Monday of next week I have to have yet another EGD done so I won't be around on the site that day. The surgery then to repair the paraesophgeal hernia and also do the LINX procedure is set for December 14th. They are still contemplating also removal of my thyroid at that time also. I am concerned thats too much at once, but they claim it is doable. Guess its not really up to me. I guess it beats going under the knife twice.


I'm off now to go volunteer at Hospice. Ya'all have a great day.


FYI....I am 100% certain my past smoking habit is directly related to this problem with my esophagus , the LES valve not working and GERD. I am fortunate that it is being caught BEFORE it turns ugly. So be forewarned.....anyone who is smoking is putting themselves at risk for this and this is NOT any fun to go through nor are all the Manometry tests I had to go through and PH testing etc... to qualify for this procedure.


Work your quits hard AND YOUR DETERMINATION HARDER!!! 


Worn out in a good way

Posted by Mandolinrain Oct 20, 2018

Our company left here about an hour ago. We had a super good time. I just didn't have time to get on this site the past week enough to post but I did read some.

Anyway, I was so sorry to see our Youngatheart.7.4.12 had yet another fall and I think I may take up a collection of bubble wrap for that woman, lol. I hope she's back home and resting. We all love our Nancy.

Thats the cool things about this site. We truly are a family and we truly do care for each other. I think theres something about smokers and the heart. A connection, we always seem to stick together no matter what....we went out and froze our butts off together as we smoked and then we encouraged each other through thick and thin as we worked on our quit journeys and we continue to provide that as we grow stronger in our quits and journeys everyday.


So friends, its good to be back. I missed you all and as soon as I catch up with an overflowing laundry room, I will be back regular on the site.


Enjoy your weekend. Cold and cloudy here but the leaves are changing and I can smell the aroma of burnt leaves as hubby is burning the fire pit. All is good here at our home and I pray its all good at yours 


Laundry room here I come.......

I made a great dinner, house is perfectly clean, all chores done and even mowed the yard…then Hubby comes home late, dinner is cold…its dark out so he can’t tell I mowed for him, He’s tired and so he can’t notice how great the house looks….so I made a choice and smoked


The dog decided to urinate on the new carpet…And thats when I made a choice to smoke


My Dad Died…I made a choice to smoke


We are going out to dinner, I feel fat and nothing looks right on me….so I made a choice and smoked.


My kids are acting like kids and my patience is running out, so I made a choice to smoke.


I have just finished a nice long walk and then worked out…and thats when I made a choice to smoke


Darn telemarketers, I made a choice and smoked.


Are you kidding me, the kids forgot to latch the pasture gate, now the horses are loose …again! Better smoke.


I can’t find my cell phone. …so I made a choice and smoked.


I just banged my elbow on the door that I neglected to close, so I made a choice and smoked


Ahhh a glass of Vino, and I made a choice to smoke


I need to relax, so I made a choice to smoke


I have important decisions to make, so I made a choice to smoke


I am on the phone for Petes sake, so I made a choice to smoke.


I am in between chores, so I made a choice to smoke.


I am sick with a horrible head cold, so I made a choice to smoke ( wow-really)???


I am happy-Sad-Frustrated-Worried-impatient-Concerned-Tired-Elated-hungry-thirsty-Angry-and a hot mess of many many emotions….and at one time in my life, I MADE A CHOICE AND SMOKED OVER EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. 


Its freezing outside, so I made a choice and went out and smoked


I made a choice and an Excuse


I am still all of those things somedays. But now I make different choices....

I Choose not to smoke over anything anymore. No more Excuses, ( like Tony Horton says), lol.


Smoking only enhanced everything above. It didn’t bring my Dad back, or fixe a bad situation, it didn’t help me get over a head cold or make any decisions for me any easier. It didn’t round up the horses for me, it just made them get further from me catching them. It never relaxed me…the situation was always still there when I put out the cigarette.


Only you have the power to make a choice

   choose wisely


Tell yourself and others "I don't do that anymore"


Have a great Saturday everyone!

Gonna be gone for awhile

See ya in a week or so 


But is there ever a good time for them to come? No, I don' think so.


You can be one of those who say " well sure...if I didn't already have so much on my plate...that would be a good time to quit smoking"


OR you can be one of those who say " Life is going to come and go announced and unannounced whenever and wherever it chooses...therefore I choose not to smoke today over it"


This can apply to other challenges in your life as well. Couple examples:


A uncomfortable work situation....

A bad/ sour relationship.....with spouse or family member or friend........


What can we do about it?


Sometimes it seems like nothing. Sometimes it seems so heavy that our hearts could break over it. Will a cigarette make it better? No. Heres what it will do though.... It will cause you instant gratification that will last less than the 2 minutes it took you to smoke it and leave you with a heavy burden because now you are back at Day one.Now you get to go through Hell week again. Yay.....Not!


Heres what you can do though in any of the above scenarios....

1. Pray

2. Come here and blog

3. Go and find someone who needs encouragement on this site besides yourself ,Redirect your heartache to heart aide

4. Go for a brisk walk...a cold shower..make a list of all the things GOOD you have in your life going for you

5. Make a gratitude list

Then Repeat


This too shall pass and theres nothing worse than losing your quit over something you will have more peace over after following through with this list....and give yourself at least 24 hours and see how much your feeling change after you've done it.


Yes Challenging times,we have ALL gone through. We know from past experiences that they do eventually go away. Just try to take some serenity with you as it passes by and learn from it. Don't allow the challenges to mow you over  but rather ...let them build you up and your strength will come out golden.

What a day.


The Doctor said I have Barrets esophagus and hernia. So I will be having surgery as soon as insurance stuff is figured out. He said ignoring this, will most defiantly lead to cancer of esophagus. Not going there.

He said they will also be doing ablation of some precancerous cells. I will be admitted for about two days, I guess. I also have to have another EDG before the surgery.


Thats all I have for now I am honestly not worried. I have seen this surgeons record and he is awesome. Recovery should not be bad at all. He is doing the LINX procedure, although he offered the Nissan surgery. I am very glad this will soon all be over with.


He said the surgery will probably be in December and not to count on fixing Xmas dinner. YAY......SOMEONE else will have too for a change!

He also said no airplanes for 4-6 weeks.  Doable.

All good...feel good

Some radiation, no chemo

   Now to get through calling hours tomorrow.  I will be away for awhile. 


Smoke mere and memories

Posted by Mandolinrain Oct 2, 2018

I have not had one of these for along time, but last night.....I was puffing away, in my dream. I can't recall the whole dream but I do recall I was trying to hide it and I was dealing with death in the dream.

This morning I know why.


Our dear friends lost their 10 year old grand daughter in a ATV accident that happened this past Friday night. She passed early Saturday and we were at Notre Dame, so we weren't here for them. I have spent a lot of time in tears and prayers and more to come as her calling hours are Thursday and Burial Friday. I'm pretty sure that what brought on the smoke mere. Smoking would have been the first thing for me to reach for comfort for. So I did in my dream.


I have no desire to smoke. But the dream was a reminder. 


Life is not going to stop happening because I choose not to smoke. But now I rely on God first in difficult times and my family and friends. They always give me the support and love I need to get through. I don't know why I ever thought the cigarettes would. Just another deceitful lie they fed me. But at one time...they were the first thing I would reach for. They did nothing for me. So glad I grew up and out and away from them and saw them for what they were.... Poison sticks.


Life goes heart breaks for that family. Smoking will not heal my heart....time will. Its part of the process and we will all go through this at one time or another. We just don't smoke over it. Love you guys