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All People > Mandolinrain > Mandolinrain Blog > 2018 > August

Who are you? Who am I?

Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 30, 2018

I have good days-bad days-happy days and sad days…and so on.


Maybe its better to tell you who I am not :


I don’t smoke anymore

I don’t always have great days

I don’t dwell on the not so great days…When life hands out lemons, I make lemondiad…right?

No, not always. Sometimes the not so good days serve a growing purpose for me. …Then again, some days…are just bad days. Period. Life goes on…but I don’t marinate in the bad. I don’t care to be ‘Overseasoned’, if you follow.


Im not one to focus on negativity but look for opportunities to create a better mood…most days.

I like to get down to the nitty gritty of matters. Am I miserable, tired, etc….if so….I am one to get to the source and will diligently find answers to improve my state of mind or physical being.


I am not a person who will sit back and let life happen. To me thats irresponsible. To me.

While Life is full of choices…life will still happen and some of which is out of my control…back to the lemons…If I am feeling hungry-angry-lonely-tired….then I am one to get to the bottom of WHY and resolve to do whatever works for me to take care of me. If I am hungry, I eat. If I am angry, I pray, if I am lonely I hug my pets, my husbands or call on a friend….if I am tired…I rest. I have limits. I have boundaries and I have them in place to protect myself and in doing so I am better prepared and equipped to help someone else.


I think good days and bad days are actually balance. I need them both. To maintain a healthy attitude, to grow in all areas of my life and relationships.


If I hang out in good all the time or bad days all the time…I personally have resolved to ‘give up’ and not grow-learn-accept anything anymore. Thats NOT who I want to be….ever.


So I leave you with this bit of advise- feel free to decline it or accept it. Its not a rule to follow, its just something I feel may help someone….even myself, for just saying it.



‘“Life may be giving you lemons today or lemonade. You always have a choice. Sometimes choices are uncomfortable and to choose the thing that makes you uncomfortable may be just the ‘thing ‘you need to do do take care of you'. Immediate gratification is just that. For that second, you feel super, but the then the other shoe, will eventually drop. Make yourself a priority. Allow. It is okay to have a bad day….take what your given and learn from it…but just don’t stay there. Set boundaries.


You choose what you will marinate in….and remember,….if you choose to marinate in the bad…cool…just turn yourself over now and then so you don’t overcook’.


I really gotta go walk this dog now. Cheers

I am not, in general a very patient person but when it comes to getting answers from Doctors, unfortunately, we are at their mercy and have to wait. Once again...I am waiting but this time the end result is looking better.


I have pretty bad GERD. LA Grade C in fact and I cannot tolerate the PPI's or the protonics normally prescribed to treat it.  I do blame a lot of this on my past smoking history and even my Doctor agrees it probably played a part in it.


I constantly cough, lose my voice, can't keep food down, bloat and I burp...ALOT...and  have a limited diet ....and when I deviate and eat certain solids...well, I toss my cookies pretty quick. No coffee, no chocolate, no heavy get my point. I'd love a nice chilled glass of wine on occasion,,,,, but can't have that either. Not worth it.


So anyway, after SO many test and Doctors , ( the last surgeon wanted to do Nissan surgery ) I met with a specialist in treating GERD and he gave me yet one more test to undergo . Manometry  ( should be fun,.....EH, JUST KIDDING)....Then he feels I will be a good candidate for a surgey called Flex. It is done with a one night stay at hospital and WAY less invasive as the other.  It involves a magnetic band placed around the base of my esophagus which will prevent the acid from going up....preventing any damage to my esophagus and especially before it can cause cancer to develop. Sounds like a plan to me! He said I would not be able to burp or vomit after this procedure and Im like cool...bring it freakin on!!! I am so sick of this!


I am going to be meeting with some of his patients who have already had this procedure done and get my own feel for how it went and such.


Anyway, just another LOVELY (....again, just kidding ) health condition I brought on myself by all the years I smoked. 


There is light at the end of the tunnel now though and I am running that way full force! YAY ME!


Prayers for Hawaii

Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 24, 2018

Its an unusual thing for a hurricane in Hawaii but even more dangerous there than anywhere else due to all the mountains. That what was just said on the news.

Prayers headed up for Hawaii and anyone else who desires to join me....I believe in power in the number of people praying for them. Anyone else .....taking my hand and pray with me on this?

absolutely think I do, sometimes...miss the bigger picture because I am so obsessed looking in the rearview mirror.



What if I look forward instead?

What if I keep my aim higher rather than lower...

Expect good instead of bad...Friends instead of enemies,

Peace instead of war,

Not smoking instead if smoking....What if ????


Can't hurt to






Invest in yourself

Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 22, 2018

What does this mean to you?

Perhaps if you can figure this out it can aide you in your ability to quit smoking.

When I first jumped on the bandwagon to stop smoking I was doing it for many reasons...all which were commendable but not the right reason.  It took more wisdom ( from which I gathered here on this site ) to come to understand that if I had to make my quit my first priority. Meaning, me first.


i was never comfortable with that. I have a tendency to take care of everyone but me. I had put 'ME' up on a shelf years ago and have taken care of everyone else's needs first. Meanwhile, I sat and collected dust. Oh I still managed to exercise and get out now and then and do the things I enjoy doing, but theres more to it than that.....


I recognized nearly 4 years ago it was time to climb down off of the shelf and dust myself off and get busy taking care of me. I needed to set boundaries with some people who were literally sucking the life out of me. I needed to learn how to say 'NO'. I needed to recognize that I wanted to quit smoking because I WANTED TO QUIT SMOKING. I was not quitting for my husband, my kids, my grandkids, my friends, my work.......I was quitting because I desired to be smoke free and healthy. I quit because it was time to take care of me.


Life is going to happen to us~good days-bad days-exceedingly joyful days and exceedingly sorrowful days.

Putting others first before you take care of yourself first, is one way to set yourself up for the more sorrowful days.


What would happen if you were asked to do something that deep down you really don't want to do but you feel if you say 'NO', you would be letting the other person down. Do you think they will forever reject you? Do you think they will think badly of you?

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.......Wondering if they are thinking about you as much as you think about them?

Just something to chew on, an example, per say.


Taking care of you first, getting to know the real you will help you establish your boundaries, of what you can and can't do or give. 


So what has this got to do with Quitting Smoking? Well for one thing it will help reduce stress which is a huge trigger to smoke for many people and fr was the biggest reason. I wore myself out trying to do to much and fix everyone when I was the one who needed fixed.


Anyway.....Taking care of me is still something I work at and I always will have to I suppose because I do love helping others...but we all need to recognize that perhaps the one who needs more us...we are worth the investment.




Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 21, 2018
Having made a firm decision and being resolved not to change it
  1. You can't see the entire picture above but it is a mouse preparing to get the cheese from a mousetrap. He is wearing a helmet.
    He is determined.
    Where is your helmet today? I used to be involved in Equestrian Sports. Students had to wear helmets. I called them 'Brain buckets'.
    Are you prepared today to quit or stay quit?
    Do you have on YOUR Brain Bucket?
    Okay you do not need to wear a physical helmet, I grant you that, but you must be DETERMINED. You must be prepared or/and prepare yourself. 
    Every single day is going to bring new surprises....some good, some not so good.
    The more you understand that and prepare ahead of time, the better chance you have to avoid getting caught in a trap.
    Don't waste precious time wondering, working or looking for bad things to happen. Start putting your focus on the GOOD things that are going to happen. List them. EXPECT THEM!!!! You know how they saying goes, you are what you eat?? Well same goes for your day....if you don't expect much, you won't get much. If you continue to expect bad, get ready for a plateful of bad.
    Turn your thoughts to positive constructive thoughts and speak it to YOU.
    Imagine this: if you tell a child over and over and over again that they are stupid and ugly, then they will come to believe it.
    Retrain your brain
    Wear your 'brain bucket' to protect you from negativity about your quit and say 'NO'. Your the boss of your quit~not nicotine. The less you feed those receptors the more they starve.
    Now off with ya...get busy having great day preparing to be done with this crappy stinky habit of nicotine or just jump right in and be done.

Our Ellen

Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 17, 2018

I have been concerned not seeing much of her online so I texted her. She's just taking a little break from EX right now.

She has a very full plate taking care of Mike right now and awaiting his eye surgery upcoming. Not to mention she's behind with her own needs ( because she puts EVERYONE else first before her). Then theres the recent loss of Bijou. Its just taking its toll on her.

Anyway, she will be away for awhile and may pop in now and then but just needs to catch up and take care of herself right now. I just wanted to update you all and ask you to please send prayers hers and Mikes way. They have ALOT on their plates right now.

It is good to take break from this site from time to time. Anyway, thats all I have right now.

Ellen.....She had to put her beautiful cat Bijou down this afternoon and she's a mess. Please pray for her. This is so hard. She's having so much on her plate now, with Mike and her own health. She's home crying. Prayers now would help.

This is how I felt when I quit. As though a storm  was approaching.

I never knew exactly how bad it would be and I failed many times to be ready for it.


It is so important to be prepared. Life will happen smoking or not smoking. Storms will come.

They also ALWAYS pass.


My Grandmother used to tell me how to know the storm was very close. She would have us count between the thunder rolls.The closer the numbers came together...the closer the storm and we knew it was time to hit the cellar. Her cellar was always prepared for storms with food, water and candles and blankets.


Nicotine craves have warning signs as well. I would start to feel many emotions and I recognized this as the nicotine trying to get my attention. I would feel anxious, tired, angry at the smallest of things..... What were your storm warnings? Certain people would also trigger my storms also.


Yes Storms will happen. But getting through them prepared will make all the difference. Have a safety plan ready for when the come and run~don't walk to you cellar ( or plan ).


Don't wait for the storm to be over top of you before you take action. Have your shelter ready and stocked. You will be grateful later that you could cost you your quit.


Just some food for thought.

Happy belated birthday

( it was yesterday )