My last blog for awhile-don't fool with your quit in NML like I did...

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Aug 1, 2013

Just wanted to thank everyone who responded to my last blog. This truly is a wonderful site and EVERYONE on this site is a Champion in my eyes...except myself for the moment.

My mistake was a powerful one. I had NO lifelines in place. I kept some things private and did not share due to fear of how many of our blogs are posted on other sites.

 What would I do differently? First of all I was in NML. Dangerous territory and I never thought I would need lifelines. I thought this site was enough. So for those of you walking in NML if you do not have lifelines -get them now!

I made a step in the right direction today and started lining some up. Some from this site, some from home. Fear of some other things going on in my life was consuming me and instead of reaching out and talking about it-I held it inside. Fear was taking control and I cannot afford that to be in my life. I also realize that fear =no faith. Lesson learned. This fear thing is horrible for me right now but I will press on. I know to have a 'break-through'...I have to 'go-through'

Another thing I am in process of doing is reading Allen Carrs book. I have been watching grandson recently and not much tome to read although I plan on hitting it hard over the weekend. I want to really take my time with it though and get it in my brain so it sticks.

Quitting has consummed my thoughts. Last evening when I came in here and blogged about my relapse, I was a nervous wreck. But I had to be honest. I knew there would not be any freedom for me if I was not honest.

I am re-considering doing this quit with my DIL. I have discussed this and some other 'issues' with someone in here in private to which I hold great esteem. But you all have my word...I will quit and it will be soon but it must 'stick' this time and be my final quit. It will be. I am no dummy. 

So for those of you who are in NML....make sure you have lifelines in place and blog in here 'HELP' as needed. I know I will.

Thankyou again champions..all of you! I will be lurking and reading and announcing my quit date soon. God Bless.