Mandolinrain

Day 40..One day at a time...

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Jul 8, 2013

I am amazed, but not amazed..lol. I have never taken the time, as I have this time around, to truly understand the addiction of nicotine I have. i have never truly 'reached out' to others for help. i have never taken the responsibilty before. I always blamed my continuous 'habit' on other people ,places and things.

Yes, I have days that are worse than others, but I also realize that thoses days will come with or without me smoking.I have paid attention to my surroundings...the people i am with, the conversations, the places I go, everything...I am learning to really become 'aware'. That in itself has helped me to make much better lifetime choices for me, such as ...not smoking.

I took my dog for a long walk this morning and spent time in prayer as I walked. I was gratful in my prayers to my maker, for all I am learning and all of the ways He has put people,places and things in my life to help me to make better choices. This site and you folks being a large part of that.

Doing this cold turkey has been tuff at times, but I believe no matter how one decides to quit, it's just tuff...period. At some point in time we all have to look at ourselves and decide to smoke or not to smoke...with or without the help of meds/aids..etc...At some point in time we have to decide to quit going around in cirlces if we truly want to be finished with this habit. 

One time I had this river to cross with my horse on a trail in Cook Forest,Pa. It was a wicked looking river. Vey wide, very rocky in places and the water was very rapid. I was scared. I had never done anything like that before, although my horse had ( and this is a true story). Before we started across I learned from other riders, what to be aware of, what to look for and how to react should something unexpected happen. ( In otherwords, I educated myself beforehand).

Anyway...we started across following many others. About half way through, we fell into deep hole. We went under for seconds. I was terrified and I know my mare was to, but she pressed on and I stayed on. We encouraged each other and she swam out and on across the river. It seemed like it took forever. Once we got across, it was awesome! We both survived and the next time we crossed to go back to camp, the fear was less and we both made it back together. Respect and knowledge for the river and my mare. I remained calm, Olympia ( my mare) and I rode out our fears together.

I respect the river now. I respect this quit. A hole could come at anytime, but I have the tools this go around and knowledge. You do too. My God.....this site...you folks have been my lifeline in this quit.

Respect your quit and yourself. Prepare yourself for each day. For each day will bring a new set of problems, happiness and milestones. You only have today right now. To be able to end this day saying you lived it well by your choices, your words, your thoughts and your actions =respect/knowledge. May you all have a blessed day. Hugs~Missy

Outcomes