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Mandolinrain

1st Day in NML

Posted by Mandolinrain Jun 28, 2013

Had bad nights sleep, tossed and turned...craved smokes, ugh...simply horrible. I hope this NML stuff is not an everyday event. I feel fine now, just tired from lack of sleep. I want to go run but we are still having all these bad t-storms that seem to be hanging around. I think I ill go run through the house,lol.

Seriously though, this site is a Godsend for me. I can't say I not afraid of whats ahead with NML, but I also dont want to talk myself into failure. I am my own worst enemy at that. I would like to hear more from others who have already gone through NML...so if your one of them please share. Thanks to all of you on this site...I am holding my quit for yet another day and while it is not always comfortable...it is doable right now...cause thats all I have...is this moment. I never want to go through this again ~Missy

I just read a blog that someone was going through that but I cant find any info,. on it. I read that it last from day 30 to day 130? Oh crap...tomorrow is my day 30...I am already stressed and trying to cling to this site and God to stay strong after my crappy day yesterday. So what the heck is 'No mans Land' and do we all go through it. Will these urges ever go away? I'm not saying I am giving up...just trying to get educated this time so I don't give up. Thanks~Missy

Mandolinrain

I had a horrid day!!!

Posted by Mandolinrain Jun 26, 2013

I accidendly ran over our 20 year old cat! It was horrid. I can't even describe how bad it was as I loaded him up and ran him into the Vets office ( he was still alive and I just wanted them to put him out of his misery). Thankfully, my neighbor was home, so she drove and I held Arlo on the way to the Vets.

I know he is is in a better place at the 'Rainbow Bridge'...but what I am truly amazed at is the fact I never once thought about smoking...until now. It's not a horrible urge, it's just a saddness I think I am feeling over the loss of Arlo ( I am crying as I type). I know going out and buying a pack and then giving in to smoking will only make me feel more miserable, as I am 28 days quit by cold turkey method. I know that IF I GIVE IN and smoke, it will not soften the pain of the loss of our sweet cat.

 I hate the control ciggs have had over me. HATE IT. So here I am, looking at this site instead. My other neighbor quit recently using Chantix. Today when I spoke to her and told her about my cat she said" Well, I have started smoking again, just 2 or 3 a day and you have good reason to smoke if you want to". I told her, no,...not really. It will not bring Arlo back and I will just be so upset with myself that I caved in after all this time. 

This site is teaching me how to deal with 'issues' instead of 'Lighting up'. I can see, as I really look hard, how much control Nicotine had over me....and I am NOT allowing it to happen today.

Okay, needed to say this stuff, feel somewhat better and so very grateful for this site, you folks and God.~Missy

Mandolinrain

25 days!

Posted by Mandolinrain Jun 23, 2013

I am so happy today, the sun is out and I am still not smoking. This site has really helped me. I read more than I post, but feels good to know I can come here anytime to reboost myself if I am feeling 'urge to smoke'. Actually I have hardley had any thoughts of smoking at all the past 4-5 days. Thats a first for me!

I am still doing this cold turkey. Eating lots fresh fruit daily and so far no weight gain at all. In fact I have stayed so busy, I think I have lost some weight.

Anyway, happy Sunday everyone. N.O.P.E.

I quit again recently, 17 days ago cold turkey. I can't even say how many times I have resolved to 'quit'. I certainly have tried EVERY option over the years. I believe my longest quit was back in 2008....then 9 months later my Dad passed away and I smoked.

Quitting cold turkey is going to be a first but I feel I may be ready, finally. I am recovering from a bad episode of Kidney Stones, but was ever scarier was that I was also showing symptoms of bladder cancer. The good news is after much testing...I am fine, but it really scared me. That type of cancer is higher in smokers, I learned.

Recently theres been many commercials on TV showing different folks who are living with some pretty serious health conditions due to smoking...I'd have to say those commercials have also gotten my attention. I don't know if it's because I am nearly 55 years old or what, but I can't say I have ever felt so strongly about making this quit the final one, ONE DAY AT A TIME. I say it this way because in the past I always got so caught up in the future of my quit and how miserable I would be not being able to smoke, that I lost track that I ONLY needed this very day, to worry about.

So....after 5 years of quitting/smoking/quitting smoking.....( I joined this site back in 2008) I stumbled back onto this site and plan to use it to help me stay quit, one day at a time and encourage anyone else who wants some support.

My urges are not nearly as great although I can go great for a few days them BAM...I have one horrid day of cravings that seem to come from nowhere and with no hint it's coming. It just does and I just fly around looking for things to stay busy. I don't recommed sucking on straws,....just gives you gas, LOL...sugarless gum and toothpicks are becomming my need to smoke vises along with cleaning anything that needs cleaned and walking fast on bike trails or anywhere!

Okay, enough rambling. Just wanted to say Hello to everyone.