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Mandolinrain Blog

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Mandolinrain

Wherever I go~There I am

Posted by Mandolinrain Jun 21, 2019

Its been hectic in my life the past few weeks but all good. I have missed being more active here and I will be again soon. Meanwhile I am recognizing new things about life and my life especially.

Wherever I go there I am. Simple philosophy I did not come up with, but whats so clever about it , is that, THAT is exactly how I am enjoying my life as of most recent. I'm enjoying the present and staying there.

 

I have choices of how I will react to any given situation at any given time and this includes smoking.

 

Nancy , aka Youngatheart.7.4.12 has been faithful to remind us every Friday about the dangers of drinking, due to its pull that makes us more likely to let down out guard and 'smoke'. I suppose you could like this passage with 'Whomever I'm with~There I am , as well. 

 

Hold tight your guard around People-Places and Things.

Be aware of your surroundings and the folks you're with. Are you in an environment that the activity may weaken your stance on your quit should you decide to 'partake',and what about the People? Are they folks who will encourage your quit or are they the kind who will sluff it off as, 'awww now, won't make or break ya.?

 

Just something to chew on. Wherever you go, there you are. Make good choices. Days won are much better than Days One. Been there done that. Just sayin.

 

Happy weekend! I am just praying for a dry one. Seen enough rain here for awhile . Now me gardens beds are begging to be plucked of weeds, so I'm gettin' goin'

Negativity can reduce a persons self worth in a red hot second.

Think on these things before you react or speak :

1. Is it kind

2. Is it True

 Basically-Taste your words before you spit them out

 

What has this to do with smoking you ask?

Not a thing. But it is good food for thought. 

It never hurts any of us to do this.

 

 

One more thing~

Hurting People Hurt People.

So the next time you find yourself in the line of fire

don't react to it.

 

Be the Light in a dark room.

 

Today I had to clean up my 2 yr. old grandson who basically exploded in his diaper. Very bad explosion. I asked him if he would like a diaper change, he said  " No Nana,I just farted, I don't pooh~I'm really okay" 

Of course I knew otherwise as the odor was very obvious . So he ended up getting another bath and of course anything to avoid going to bed and getting yet more bubble time.

 

Moral of that little story~

 

Stink is stink and it all comes out in the wash, providing you do wash it.

 

And just like words......

Some may take awhile longer to clean

Forgiveness and Love are ALWAYS the best option.

 

Goodnight and sweet dreams

Mandolinrain

Then and Now

Posted by Mandolinrain Jun 10, 2019

 

 

THEN

1. Smoking was a relaxer for me

2.Smoking was a sedative for me

3.Smoking was a much needed hug for me

4. Smoking was a pain reliever for me

5. Smoking was a filler of holes and hats for me

6. I could build an excuse for every celebration and situation to justify smoking

7. Smoking was a must for every celebration and every defeat 

 

NOW

 

1. I go to the Throne instead of the phone with a smoke

2. Music and art are my sedatives of choice

3. My family/friends are the givers and receivers of hugs now

 

For 4-5-6-7 I repeat 1-2-3

I am grateful to have found better ground to plant my sorrows and healthier ways to rejoice in the celebrations

Thats how I do it

 

Or you can continue to smoke and be deceived.......

 

 

 

 

 

My Excuse , I dare YOU to read it

Is only as good as the ground its planted in

 

Currently ~The Negative :

 

Struggling with a personal health issue

My Dog Died few weeks ago and still not over it

My Best Friend died 2 years ago and I still mourn her loss

I have one Adult son who has no time for me

My Husband ( retired) works to many hours

My Mother favors her sons over me

My Bio Dad died

 

The Positive:

 My health issue will resolve

We still have Nico, Merlin lived extra long for his breed

I rest knowing the friend I lost is with God and am blessed I got to know her

My other Adult son is very good to me

My Husband is loving and kind to me

My Mother is a result of how hurting people hurt people, so I can forgive her

I have a Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally. 

 

Do you get it?

 

Smokiing won't make any difference. It is what t is.

 

Get the hell over it.

 

Just sayin

 

 

 

 

Some folks do for many reasons

 

*They feel they can handle it on their own

*They are afraid they will fail and don't want to alert anyone if they do

* They don't understand the addiction of Nicotine and how they travel in 'PACKS'

 

This is a few reasons I can think of off hand that I used to relate to.

Theres nothing to be ashamed of to ask for help.

The sooner you do~the sooner you can begin to heal

 

Which brings to mind this as well........

 

Have a great weekend. I need to be away from Ex for the next few days but rest assured, I will be back to continue to help encourage others as well as protect my own quit. ~Missy

 

*

Mandolinrain

1-2-3-4

Posted by Mandolinrain May 31, 2019

So you're really thinking about giving in to the desire to smoke?

Theres your sign

The very instant you consider to 'light up' is the moment to look at your tracks.

1. Where are you?

2. Whats your mood?

3. Who are you with and what are you doing or what are you about to do.

4. Will lighting up make the situation better once you snuff it out?

 

Consider these. Please. Re-think the smoke. Be aware of the present, because once you act on your choice ,you either beat it or it beat you....again.

 

If you want to quit smoking you have quit doing what you have always done. You must pre-determine exactly what you will do in the face of the above 1-2-3-4.

 

Don't overthink/over dissect it

Just do it

Make a plan and disciple yourself to stick to it

HERES A THOUGHT

Someone needs to be good to you for a change...how about you start with Yourself

Mandolinrain

Freedom Isn't Free

Posted by Mandolinrain May 24, 2019

 

God Bless our country~Our service men and women who have served~Those who are currently serving and to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.....

May we ALL remember

And Never Forget

~Freedom isn't Free~

 

Have a great weekend~Make good choices~ Have fun and Don't Smoke!

Mandolinrain

Quit Token Shout Out

Posted by Mandolinrain May 23, 2019

As a way of giving back to a community that has given so much to me and many others, I offer ~ for free...a quit token to anyone who has one year or more on this site. I don't want anything in return except YOU to remain quit.

 

I do have a waiting list for members who have not yet reached their year but who would like to have one. If you want your name added to this list let me know.

 

If you have a year or more already and would like one, I need a mailing address from you. You can send it via private message and I promise NOT to share your personal information at anytime without your permission.

 

The tokens vary but they are made from Vintage Silver-plate Silverware. No two are alike They only require a soft cloth cleaning with silver cleaning polish of your choice. I will continue to make these so long as supplies last. As of today I have sent out over 50 of them....as far as Africa in fact!

 

Tomorrow I have half a dozen that will be sent out. They are hand engraved with the individuals quit date and their name they go by on this site. I also send to you by private message , in most cases, a USPS tracking number.

 

So anyway, message me if you're interested, meanwhile, I am headed to bed. In need of zzzzzzzz's

 

G'Night~Missy

 

 

Mandolinrain

Steps

Posted by Mandolinrain May 14, 2019

We take them everyday. Everyday we are proactive with our quit...we step up. Each step leads to greater heights. 

 

Sometimes we stop at a landing. They are there to remind us and provide us rest. Each step has its measured way to provide growth to our journey....each provides a landing on which too rest and evaluate our position.

 

Take time to watch your steps each day. Be mindful of where you came from, how far you've gone and what you will sacrifice if you turn back.

Be mindful of the journey ahead and expect good....don't ask for trouble or fret on it...that of which may never happen, its time wasted.

 

Rather, reach for and expect and hope for the good. Let that be your focus. Today you are not smoking. THAT is a daily step you take. I will take your hand and take it with you. Lets go....

Mandolinrain

Success with a plan.

Posted by Mandolinrain May 4, 2019

I was supposed to have grandkids but woke up sick....again. Sore throat, ear ache..and trip to walk in clinic another round of Z-Pac. I swear, hubby and I are just passing it back and forth and between all the kiddos. Im okay though and I recall when I used to smoke even when I was sick, blah!

 

I have been thinking about success in regards to smoking. Back in the day when I was going through a lot of quits, I recall making my quit fit around everything going on in my life and I had a duffle bag full of excuses, but one that was pretty prominent in my story was people pleasing. and theres a HUGE variety of ways to do this. I am often still guilty of this.

 

I needed everyone to be happy around me even though I was going through Hell quitting. I figured I was the one that had to make sure nobody was suffering because I was quitting. That nearly drove me insane....and them too I imagine....Its also a recipe for resentment.

 

So just a tip, for the new quit....Don't worry when the next meal needs cooked, the next load laundry needs done or ironed, the lawn needs mowed, Sally needs her lunch packed....Let Sally pac her own lunch. So what. People will still be there the next day when you wake up. Somehow they find a way to take care of themselves ( and Im not talking about ditching /neglecting responsibilities to parenting...).

 

 You're a new person who has Quit Smoking...., how about you take care of you now. What things do YOU need to be happy and enjoy your day. Nows as good of time as any to begin searching for what please you or what goals now you will start to obtain.

 

The is  NEW CHAPTER in your life. It is a good time to busy living or get busy dying. Since you quit smoking, I assume you're ready to Live. So get 'er done. Make your bucket list, quit wasting time on what others think and treat yourself to life. Smoking already stole a lot from you, don't allow its after effects to take anymore.

 

Guess what...tomorrows coming no matter what, look forward to how you're kicking nicotines butt today and NOTHING AND NOBODY will stop you from doing it tomorrow too.

Root Development relies on the care given to form them

 

The necessary ingredients to help them grow and get established  ~ nutrients, sun, air quality, water, earth, shade and so on…the proper amount can bring about a beautiful plant. The improper balance can cause damage that can lead to disease and or death itself.

 

Today I celebrate 1700 days of Nicotine Freedom. I wanted to take the time to share how I rooted my quit  and pass along suggestions that continue to help my quit form good healthy roots.

 

  1. I payed attention to the soil I planted my ‘quit’ in

I am most always aware of my surroundings….the little things that can ‘push my buttons’, or make me ‘feel’ uncomfortable. Those are warning sign's telling me I need to move along. I recognize now that in the past when I was a smoker, those ‘conditions’ often set me up to smoke.  Being aware of my surroundings.... Learning how to say 'NO'....

'Setting healthy Boundaries'. Priceless lesson indeed for me.

 

2.  I make sure I spend quality time doing something joyful everyday. It could be just spending time with my grandchildren, or putzing with my plants, doing art…reading …whatever I like that gives me joy. I find I need to slow down more and truly see and enjoy the environment I am in. For reasons unknown to me, when I smoked I was always in a hurry and I ALWAYS had to make sure my ‘habit’ was number one…. I always made sure I would not run out of cancer sticks and had to always have access to a lighter. Its good to not have to plan everything anymore based on my smoking. It stole way too much from me.

 

3. Stay active on this site….as well as take breaks from it now and then. This site helps me hold myself accountable to my quit. It also is the water to my roots. I have many friends here at home but it occurs to me that the ones I have made here on Ex are as close or closer than any of my friends here at home. Theres something about talking someone through a rough patch that’s a total stranger, who is willing to listen to you and share with you….its truly a gift. YOU ALL are truly a gift to me.  Together we are really an amazing community. I know the God of my understanding gave you all to me as a ‘gift’ and I don’t take that lightly. I am grateful to everyone here. 

 

4. I remain teachable. I am a work in progress.

I don’t have all the answers. I learn so much from being a participant on this site. I understand good people make mistakes and bad people can be givers of good. I watch for the opportunities to pass along good and I  recognize when my own behavior is less than and needs addressed and realigned. I take responsibility for my quit and my actions on Ex and at home. I 'prune' myself when I see weakness's in/on me. It's good for future growth.

 

5. I rest when I need to rest and eat when I need to eat. Physical or mental overload can drive me to smoke or at least it used to. I still have days I ‘overload’ but for the most part I do what I can and then I don’t. I stop and rest. The laundry will still be there the next day…if you follow….

 

6. I like to learn new things to do. It could be learning about new plants or gardening techniques , new musical instruments, new crafts, new recipes, volunteering ….I like to keep challenged and I think this has been something that really has helped my quit roots develop. I highly recommend it. All can help a bad mood and or crave….and helping someone less fortunate than you ALWAYS comes with rewards. It lets you see that you are not only person who hurts, lost, feel bitter, is sick,  feels broken….Being a light to someone else in bad times may be just what they need to get out of the darkness. We all need a dose of light daily. ALL of us. And what happens when you enter a dark room and someone turns on the light???? You see and you can proceed with more vision, clarity and hope. Be that light today. Do it without expecting a thing back. Even better….do it without anyone but yourself knowing. I guarantee you will reap rewards for that. Being a light not only helps your roots mature but it will spark a light in someone you may never know needed it.

 

7. Finally, and ( this should have been number one on  my list ), is my spirituality. I have a strong faith in God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Had it not been for Him, I would never have been here and I know that ,so I pray and Thank Him daily for this gift and for the gift of all of you and Ex. I am not ashamed of my Faith and I don’t judge anyone for their own beliefs. I don’t always have a clear understanding of my faith, but I know it will take me where I need to be, and right now it is here with all of you.

 

And there you have it

My roots exposed. I suppose one could say I am offering you a ‘start’ off my roots, because I feel they are very strong and division of roots can actually make this plant ( me) stronger and I choose daily to take care of these roots, after all...They are the only ones I will ever have. 

 

Happy Monday!

Missy  1700 Days of Freedom

 

Andwaddaya know, it's midnight.... I wrote this to post for Monday the 29th...so here it is and I'm heading to bed and sleeping in for a change ~See ya on the flip side!

 

 

 

The above reflects my opinion on quitting smoking. It may or may not apply to you. Take what you need and leave the rest. Someone always shows up for leftovers.

For the most part I raised our kids by example. I also explained to them about consequences for their actions and how they would need to take responsibility for their own actions.

 

I also taught them about forgiveness. That there's never a good reason to be insulting to anyone. That they ( my kids ) may simply agree to disagree and move on. Yet if someone had hurt them and was sincere enough to make an amends, that they should forgive them. It did not mean they had to continue a friendship with them, it meant they would not have to feel as though they have to share their candy with them again....if you follow. The forgiving lesson was for them so that THEY could move on and not be held by a grudge they were harboring in their heart. If they were meant to be friends, they simply would be and they would feel in their heart if that was the case.

When my kids screwed up I didn't encourage the bad behavior but I did encourage the good behavior. Good behavior  may have gained them more responsibility and freedoms in the long run but they received no reward for bad behavior. I loved them no matter what their behavior was but tangible rewards were saved for the horse shows or sporting events, when they won awards or trophies.

Good behavior was expected of them not earned. Bad behavior only increased their measure for our grounding them and incentive for me to make sure they understood why their behavior was unacceptable and teach them how they could grow from that experience so as to not be repeating it. 

 

So what I am saying in regards to smoking is this. Many here have failed  quits several times. I was one of them. There came a time in my failures that I knew darn well what I had to do and if I wanted this quit for myself to 'stick. I got serious about it, very serious. It had become obvious to me that MY QUIT METHODS were not working.

I learned so much from my Elders it was time to apply what they had been telling me.  Let me share something with you....I STILL learn from them. Why do I care to? Because I want what THEY HAVE. I want to be the light they were for me. I want the Newbies to 'get it' and experience this beautiful smoke free life I have. I was fortunate enough to have Elders that held back the 'sweets' and drilled the lesson into me instead overdosing me with sugar. 

 

Same was with my kids. Now they tell me..." Mom, I'm glad you didn't let me get away with 'xyz'....and it's clear to me now why you did what you did back then even though it really %^&$^#ed me off then.. We find ourselves saying the same thing you did back then to our kids and it's working. Thank you". ( Strong secure young men they are , they didn't get an overdose of sweets as kids, but they did get plenty of love and support)

If we would have given them 'hugs and kisses and candy and awww sweetie, its okay, you messed up' every time they messed up, we would not have the 2 great sons we have today that are hard workers, dedicated and responsible husbands, Dads and businessmen. No. They learned to develop a backbone from us , not a wishbone. Thats what I want the New people here to develop...a STRONG BACKBONE, not a wishbone.

 

Love and support comes in an array of fashion and MY BLOG here is to share mine. It served my family well and me . If it helps you, cool. If not, no worries. I am one of many who has opinions and I don't have to agree with yours anymore than you do mine. Cool Beans

 

Others have their way to teach, this is mine. No sugar and sweets for bad behavior. Just a FYI. Now...so you know. I am not pinpointing anyone. I'm just putting this out there. I also would not expect and sugar coated stuff for any bad behavior I am ever a part of . Whats good for the goose.....

 

Happy Tuesday~

 

 

Missy

 

PS~ Thank you to my elders for not feeding me sugar

 

Mandolinrain

Pull up

Posted by Mandolinrain Apr 20, 2019

When airplanes get into flight patterns that create danger, sometimes they are advised to 'pull up'. Right now thats how I feel. I am pulling up..

 

I have been foreseeing turbulence and have been going through turbulence recently at home that I have felt the need to 'pull up' , danger signs, warning signs, warning bells  coming from all directions.  Pull up.

 

When I was still smoking , this would have been a real need for me to smoke. I would abort to the nearest exit and smoke. Escape. I was fooled though. When I would return from smoking, the 'turbulence' was still there and still needed dealt with.

 

Today, I recognize the signs. Because I like to write, I see it in my own blogs, my responses to other bloggers, it all becomes clear when I look hard enough. Sometimes I am my worst enemy. Trying to make my point and overthinking things....but not just that...I also see how I have so much going on in my life and trying to please so many people here at home right now, I am physically and emotionally 'spent'. I need a break. I need to pull-up  and start refocusing on my own needs.

New quitters are much in need of 'Pulling Up'. New quitters are often sidetracked at worrying about what everyone else thinks of their quit and their quit needs. New quitters are often trying so hard to protect everyone around them that they often forget to protect their quit-there own needs are set aside to make everyone else around them 'comfortable' as they struggle to make a day, a one 24 hour period , 'smoke free'.

So I throw this out to you all today. Wherever you are in your quit, days, weeks, months, years....PULL UP. 

 

Least you crash and burn......Who will PULL UP with me tonight????

 

And for those who have been noticing my descent and lack of peace ( because if I can feel and see it, I know you have) I apologize. I recognize it now...and I am Pulling up.

Happy Easter a day early.

 

QUITTING SMOKING

A decision you are thinking about or are in the process of doing....or already have....Some will make it and some won't and as cold as that may sound, it's the truth.

WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE SOME WILL MAKE IT?

I think they got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was one f them. I was sick of the smell it left behind me, and on me....The cropping up of health issues....the money I was throwing away weekly, monthly- yearly....to do what? Make me unhealthy and stinky??? Yes I was sick and tired of it all. I was sick of being a prisoner of Nicotine.

 

THEN THERE ARE THOSE WHO MAKE IT

I finally did that as well. Not overnight. It did not happen without a plan. It did not come with green eggs and ham....( sorry, me brain needed to add a touch of humor there)......It came because I made a decision to go through whatever I must, uncomfortable situations, bad feelings....I had to RESOLVE to get it done. No more excuses, whining. Just make a CHOICE one day at a time, that I will not smoke today.

I decided to read about how my brain turns on and off the receptors when I smoked vs not smoking and how it had been playing cat and mouse with me for YEARS. Once I understood this concept, for me, it was like a superpower of understanding. My AH-HA moment, if you will.The Elders here planted so much info into my brain and now it was all coming together. The lesson plan they gave me made sense. It was time.

 

THE SUPER POWER IS FOR EVERYONE

You knew enough to put a flame at the end of your cigarette to make it burn and engage in 'smoking' so why not use use your brain to learn about this addiction once and for all and stop this crazy war going on inside of you. Or....Don't.

 

I PUT IF OFF A VERY LONG TIME

I used excuses I hear on this site over and over again. I know them all and then some. I feared I would get fat, lose friends, lose smoking buddies, never be able to relax, never be able to make decisions, I'm sick, I lost a loved one, I'm depressed, I'm sad, I really angry...I will, I won't I will I won't......Damn if I do Damn if I don't...No one cares, why should I. Poor me. I THOUGHT I resented my quit..but I had it backwards......

 

MY QUIT RESENTED ME

SO what's YOUR excuse? You do know the moment you decide to quit smoking it will never leave you? Nope, never. And FYI..... you probably WILL GAIN WEIGHT., lose some smoking buddies, not be able to smoke in stressful times...but what are you really missing? Think about it. Most of your friends that smoke really want to quit also. Don't you ever recall looking at a group of non smokers, wishing you were them? I know they were never wishing they were smokers, like I was. Quitting smoking ruins the habit from the first time you begin a quit. Smoking will never be the same again for you, and you know that to be turn or you would, not be here.

 

WEIGHT GAIN

Of course I gained weight. 10 lbs maybe more or less? I know theres a variety of thoughts on this subject. I can only share MY experience with you. I have always taken good care of myself. I once was a gym rat back in the day and taught aerobics on the side. I used to be a runner. I am no longer into the gym scene. I work out at home and I walk now and no running. I enjoy a whole food diet most day and intermittent fasting most days.  I have several sweet teeth, lol, and if I want something I do not deprive myself, but I have learned to recognize true hunger from emotional eating. Its all about balance for me.. Always has been.

 

I know when my body needs to rest and when it needs to move. I make it a priority to listen to it. When I quit smoking I decided I would need to listen even clearer to my body's food requirements. This was where the fasting began for me and helped me to stay in tune.  I drink a lot of water, always have. The best way I taught myself to recognize hunger vs emotional eating was with water. I start each day with water and end each day with water. If I am hungry, I drink water, wait 20 minutes and if I am still, hungry, I eat. Water is fuel. You would not put crap in the fuel tank of your car and expect it to run great, so why would I think less of my own body? You get out of it what you put in to it. My opinion.

Early in my quit I journaled my food and exercise. It helps me when I have a visual of whats going on.

 

Okay, thats my thoughts for the day. I'm headed out to walk Nico.

 

This is as good of a day as any to quit.

Missy 1689 DOF

 

PS: Thank you to ALL of the wonderful Elders who have taught me I am worth my quit and for sticking around to remind me /teach me and others, we can all do this together, One day at a time. Thank you to EX Community.

Together we are One!

 

 

The above reflects my opinion on quitting smoking. It may or may not apply to you. Take what you need and leave the rest. Someone always shows up for leftovers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How strong is YOUR foundation

 

Most here know, that during the summer of 2017 we sold our home of near 30 years to build a new one. Staying in the country as we love, it was a hectic summer but we stuck it out and are very pleased with the results.

 

It took time patience and lots of dedication on our part. We made sure all of the conditions were right when we began pouring the footers to framing the house and we even made it through surprise storms as they filtered the area many times unannounced. We went to every length to protect what we had worked so hard on to achieve.

 

So I ask again, how is YOUR foundation?

 

Quitting smoking is much like building a house. It will be as strong as its foundation. Most of us smoked for many years and were very comfortable doing so, just like I was very comfortable our past house. Something changed though...

We saw our old home needing constant repair, just like a smoker often gets....our human frame just was not withstanding the elements of smoking any longer. It was time to move on just as it was time to quit smoking.

 

No house or quit will stand long without a strong foundation.  Jumping into your quit without preparation is asking for trouble

 

Thats why we take the time to suggest you have a good understanding of this particular addiction, how it relates to you and preparing ahead of time, having a plan of action ready to go when the 'craving' sets in.

Lifelines in Place

Lifelines are people you can contact when none of your 'plans of actions seem to be working. Who can you call to help you through it? Lifelines may be as simple as just coming to this site and reaching out to us.

 

30 years is a very long time to live in one place. It's also along time to smoke, which I did for OVER 30 years. So yes, it was a hard move. Going from being a smoker to a non-smoker, but I did it. Many here have. While we may all have our different style of homes and quits~ one thing we have in common is our foundations are strong and our lifelines are in place.

 

Happy Monday to everyone. Since this is the day of the week I used to run the Freedom Train I decided this will be my weekly blog day for now. Enjoy your day.

 

 

The above reflects my opinion on quitting smoking. It may or may not apply to you. Take what you need and leave the rest. Someone always shows up for leftovers.

 

Missy 1686 DOF