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Mandolinrain Blog

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Posted by Mandolinrain Oct 10, 2019



Why di I care…cause someone did for me

why do I encourage because someone di for me

why do i come here most days after days…yes, , because someone did for me


You can choose to be a part of something good ( ex) and help others as you have been helped


You can make new friends on the way.Friends teach us things that water our life and bring new growth…maybe about gardening, about family about love  or maybe just letting someone know your care and are thinking about them…is al. Is enough


We keep areas on this site to do that…its open to all and although perhaps not related to nicotine addiction, it reminds us we are human….and builds our trust and friendships


Sorry for typos, blurry eyes.


Im doing great. Im not smoking and thanks to the persistent Exers on this site of which would not exist without them. Im glad your here and I am grateful to be a part of such a magnificent site. Thats why

Thank you


More complicated

Posted by Mandolinrain Sep 27, 2019

They say it happens 3's. WHO are 'They',??? I' d like to have a word with them.


As though things can't be tuff enough, our daughter in laws mom, who is very dear to us, may have her cancer battle back. We are waiting 'word' from biopsy yesterday. She's a triple negative breast cancer survivor , the  Answers in 3-5days. Triple negative by the way, in regards to breast cancer , is ultimate worst.


Our cousin died a day ago. Her hubby and mine are partners in family business. Only 67. heart. Never smoked. very sudden. Next week calling hours' funeral on Thursday. We are all yet in shock. EXTREME shock


Mother in-law , 94 in/out hospital with congestive heart failure.

My Mom, 90, well lets just say....things now going south with her.... In more ways than you can even imagine.


Me....I am well, well sorta. Just trying to support everyone else. Watching grandkids, hosting family. Decided I needed tor reach out for some help. So starting some therapy October 8th....Christian based , Long overdue for issues I have 'stuffed' for years. Better late than never eh? Me hearts been hurting more than ever from past incidents and its time to address it. I only mention it because, we can all gain from admitting weakness and getting help. No matter who we are, where we have been...yadda yadda yadda.


Not gonna smoke over it though. No way. I would have thought about 5 years ago, Would have been an excuse to smoke, yes? I always had an excuse to smoke back then. Always. Best now to look at what the excuse would be ahead of time and deal with it, yes? Me thinks so.


So anyway, more family arrived this evening. I am going to bed. Just had the twins here for past 2 days and I am exhausted. Workout? Whats that? I will leet you borrow the twins for 2 days and believe me,,,,,it's a hell of a workout....Enjoyable one though  I love them so much !

Double header baseball game to enjoy in morning for grandson. Can't wait. He had a grand slam last week and he only almost 10.  Company here now till a week from today. Crazy week ahead with familes kids stay here that I will watch night of calling hours and funeral. So I will not be online much my friends, or painting, or doing much else.


Time will pass and I will be back to be part of this amazing family. For you who are new, welcome. Stay near this site, as the support is like non other than you can ever hope for. I am sorry to be absent now, but can't be helped. I miss you all and I will be back as soon as I can. My sincere apologies for not being supportive and active recently. I lift all of you up everynght in my prayers, even the newbies, who I have not yet met,...Yur all near my heart, always.


Love Missy

So I have just returned from walk in clinic and have upper respiratory infection and was given ZPAC and Zofran for nausea. Im just worn out.

I had to laugh when I saw all the moderation going on, on the site and thought of this title.  Really not much to say. Im just whipped.  Snuggled with my Dobie boy on sofa and 'zzzzzzzzzz'.


Behave, Be patient.....

Don't smoke-vape-chew.  Everything in moderation except those things. 


Me eyes even hurt. N.O.P.E.

Unless you have decided your not worth it...or your family members are not worth it...or your pets are not worth it...or your friends are not worth it....


See , even if you do not realize it, YOUR habit is indirectly hurting them too.


Are you worth it or are they? If so quit making excuses and get busy learning what to do and do it.



So MIL , it has been decided, will stay at the care facility she is in and we have got her now on the maximum level of care. I was all set to bring her here and then decided, no....I am taking on way to much and I needed to make sure I take care of myself also. I am learning how to say 'No'. About damn time. I love her dearly and I see her nearly everyday, but if she came here I realized I would have to watch her like a hawk 24/7 and I am not able to do that. I felt plenty of guilt over this decision but we think its best, I do too now that I chewed on this awhile. She's 5 minutes away. 


Learning how to make better choices. Learning how to say 'no'. Learning how to set boundaries is an area I will always need to pay attention to. I am no good to anyone else if I am burnt out.


I have a crappy cold or allergies now. Family still flying in this coming Saturday. I will be fine. I already feel some relief, compliments of Zyrtec and family support that is.

Life is going to punch you smoking or NEVER make the decision to smoke/Vape or chew because of life happening....unless your wanting it all to end.


Now isn't this a peachy post  N.O.P.E.

My Mother in Law has CHF , long story short...she's going to be moving in with us next week. She is like a mother to me. She is 94.

Spent most of yesterday n ER with her and she's declining rapidly.


 FYI....I will be away from site till we get her moved in late next week.


Prayers appreciated, stressful time but we know and feel, it's the right thing to do. Since I am college grad surgical asst, ( retired) , I know what to do to help her and she won't be alone.


I will paint as I keep her company and we will enjoy listening to Vivaldi together and some other 'greats'. Its a time i cannot get back so I need to do this. Meanwhile I will share some paintings as this is ongoing but probably not much activity on site otherwise. Love to all . I WILL get back once we are settled.




Wanted to add: When life gets complicated , I think of these songs by Jason Mraz....they ALWAYS lift me up and I come full circle on why I do what I do and why I am who I am. It matters, YOU matter ....WE ALL MATTER.


Songs :

1. 93 million miles

2. I won't give up

3. Love is still the answer


I'd post the videos but don't know how. Look them up on YOUTUBE., I promise the videos will melt your heart, make you smile and you will matter



Posted by Mandolinrain Sep 2, 2019

'Get busy living or get busy dying'.... ( a quote from the movie 'Shawshank Redemption' )....pretty much sums up WHY I quit smoking. If you would have told me 5 years ago  I would make it to a 5 years in my quit, I would not have believed you. I had, had more failed attempts than i have fingers and toes.



I knew friends who quit and managed but I just had a terrible time. It was the one thing I wanted more than anything yet it felt so unobtainable, at least thats what I told myself…as as we all know…IF you feed yourself nothing but the negative you soon will believe it to be true. Until for me........

I read Carrs book and hooked up here on this site.

 I was a stubborn student. I needed to do everything you all suggested MY WAY first . Rather painful way to go about quitting and I don’t recommend it.


I  remember watching former smokers I knew personally, enjoy a nice dinner at a gathering and never needing to excuse themselves, as I still had to because I also had to feed my addiction to Nicotine.. I was envious. I really wanted what they had. I just didnt understand the connection about how our brains receptors wake up each time we inhaled and it was setting me up, unknowingly for the next smoke. When I understood the concept it was a game changer for me.

I finally grasped it, with this site and Carrs book. It took a couple times, but that book did stir me into the right direction, so for me, it helped.


Honestly , for my successful quit, God gets the credit.  I know after many prayers and tears, He is the one responsible for putting all of you into my life ….a lamp /light to my path leading me all the time. It was not until I totally gave Hm my situation and realize I could not do this without Him nor did I want to.  I needed Him to do for me what I could not do for myself, so I surrendered. This site was where HE planted me and like any new plant…I grew.  Over time, my roots developed here. My Elders watered me and they pruned me when my stubbornness  showed up, they were patient, yet firm and always thoughtful.So yes, I give all the credit to God first then all my Elders here and even the Newbies have played a role in my continued growth and quit and for all of you, I ever so grateful.


I understand now WHY theres so many different ways to quit that work.  We all have a story to share and although mine may not match yours, it will eventually catch the attention of someone else who relates to me. So THAT, to me, is why it was never My timing , but His.


Anyway, I am here to stay to share my journey with whomever wants to listen. If I help one person, so be it. Every person who comes to EX is worth while saving from this horrid addiction. 

Being active on this site is my BOOSTER SHOT and helps me remain accountable and allows me to reach out and help others as I have been helped.




This site with all of your support~The book by Alan Carr -Vicks Vapor Rub and above all , my continued relationship with God….is what I credit the success with MY quit.


THIS is what worked for me. Don't assume MY PLAN will be your success. There are many many good plans on this site by fellow Exers who have beautiful quits as a result of THEIR PLAN. EXPLORE THEM ALL. You will find one that works for you. I can only share what worked for me. Maybe a 'little bit of this or a little bit of that' but you WILL find the answers if you are dedicated enough to take what you need and leave the rest. ACCEPT that we all have the same goal with perhaps different avenues to arrive at being nicotine free. We are all just sharing our journeys and are only suggesting what MAY help you makes your's easier.

AND FOR ME....thats is whats behind the words "Take what you need and leave the rest"


God Bless~ Thanks for being an important part of my journey, my life and my heart.

Missy~ 5 years Nicotine free today 9-2-14



PS: Grandkids and Hubby are all asleep, I am headed to bed now as well. Knew I would not have time till much later to get on the site if at all. Happy Monday and Labour Day


This and That

Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 31, 2019

Do you have it all? All the answers ~I don't.


It takes a little bit of this....and a little bit of that...and THAT

can be a different animal depending on who you are talking to on this site.


AND THATS okay. I don't want to be Like you or expect you to be like me. I just wanna be me and daily I am a working on becoming a better version of 'ME'.


I love the diversity of this site. We have all got something to give and take away to help us grow in our journey to stay and or be Nicotine free. 


What we do not need is folks coming on here giving us 'labels'.This is MY OPINION. You can agree to disagree if ya want.,...thats cool with me, but be kind.


This has been on me mind tonight and so I felt to share. I come here to tell folks that quitting smoking is HARD, yes, but I share how I did it. What worked and what did not for me. Others have a totally different way that worked or did not for them. Thats whats so cool. So many ways to work through it. Not one way is right or wrong.

I don't come here often because I need to...I come because I want to. I want to help someone like those before me came to be here  ( and most are still here) to help me. Period.

As always...Take what you need and leave the rest : someone will always take the leftovers....I did, and then some.

Have a great weekend. ~Missy

Sending out prayers of safety for anyone in Florida awaiting DORIAN.


sweetplt is down there right now. Ralph1955 and   vanlil who live there.



Be safe and keep us all updated!


Love is all that matters

Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 25, 2019

I am listening to this as I am doing some indoor chores. Love this song very very much. Wish I knew how to post the video for you, but Tec gal I am not.


"Love Is Still The Answer" lyrics

Jason Mraz Lyrics

Play "Love Is Still The A…"
on Amazon Music

"Love Is Still The Answer"



The question is why, why are we here?
To say our hello's and goodbye's and then disappear
This beautiful life, what is it for?
To learn how to master peace or master war


There's only one answer that matters
Even if your heart has been shattered
Whatever you want, whatever you are after
Love is still the answer
Love is still the answer


We all make mistakes, no, we're not perfect yet
Maybe God made us all from an accident
The question that sits on everyone's lips
Is why should we pick ourselves up and start over again


Well, there's only one answer that matters
Even if your heart and your dreams have been shattered
Whatever you want, whatever you are after
Love is still the answer


Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love


The question I'll ask at the end of my days
Is what did I give and what will I take


Well, there's only one answer that matters
Even if your heart and your dreams have been shattered
Whatever you want, whatever you are after
Love is still the answer
Love is still the answer


Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love


'Cause what the world needs now is love
And all you need is love
Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love




I don't partake in it. I hate it. It' s an invasive/intrusive way for people to hurt and take advantage of others. Sure, it is also an avenue to keep in touch with people/family who live far away....and sure, many people only 'friend' there friends, but guess what.....


The people who are NOT your friends have ways to still get your information and can destroy everything about you that you THINK your safe, on your own account. It has laded on our family....a family member who is a bright young man in college. He nearly got away with taking his life. This has been a week from hell that I don't wish on anyone..It is currently being investigated on who began a very ugly story on Social Media and I mean ugly and untrue. There are ways the individual can be tracked, but it is a long process and the world hurt this person brought on.

I put this out here now to let you all know that hurtful people can re-route any information on any social media and get it out anywhere on the internet. They can can track you...your location...your kiddos even by looking a a photo you post. They can superimpose anything on you phots ( which is what happened in our family members case) and make it look real and put it our for all to see and it can destroy your life, the life of a child, the life of someone depressed or struggling in an area and even those who have every marble left in their brain.


Theres so much ^&%$ in this world right now, and I guess I am going to remain old fashioned and have I stay away from the social media crap and if I wanna talk I will call the person. I'd rather hear a voice. 


This has been a horrific week not so much for me, but the other family member who feels life now, is not worth living. This young man did nothing wrong. He was a victim of someones sick mind. Please pray for this young man. Our hearts are torn for what he has gone through and what was done to him I cannot even talk about it. Just Pray for him and his family.


Bottom line~ Do you know who your kids are talking to online Do you know who your friends are online-DID YOU KNOW that any information you share with 'friends only' online that your friend can share it with another friend of theirs and boom....your info has been shared...and its a hard fall down people.


I am so angry right now. Please be careful. School is starting. Monitor your kids. Dont let them become victim . EVERYONE is vulnerable.


Even if you think you have the most secure settings....

Guess what

No you don't.


These idiots can re-write your posts

Re-design your photos

Share your info with sickos- unbeknown to you

Case your home when you leave on vacation

Follow your children/grandchildren just by seeing photos of them you post


The list is scary and goes on and on.

How bad do you really NEED Social Media.

Be careful

I know I do.


On a personal issue, I can't or really dont care to share, right now. Somethings are better left unspoken. With Adult children in our case anyway. 


There was a time it would drive me to smoke. Not now. No desire and I have this community to thank for that.


So much going on with BOTH of our elderly Moms it is surreal right now and I have allowed the responsibility to fall on me. Why? Because I can'r stand anyone feeling alone or forgotten, but what if we become the one forgotten, then what? It's been said I am a people pleaser, probably right. I like to spread hope and love and forgiveness and I know I know, sometimes, I dont ...but I think mostly I do. Im not talking about this site either. I am just venting. Venting like we ask those of you on this site to do when your feeling 'squeezed' by the 'NOUNS' in your life, as I am right now. Yes, an area I need to work on for sure though.


Sure, it will pass. I know it will, it always does and I will be just fine and dandy. 


Smoking will not change any of it it will only upset me that I caved to it, not happening. Worked too hard. 5 year Anny is coming up soon.


So here i am venting. Adult kids who make there choices and we can't change anyone but our own. Grasp that. Thats what I am trying to do. Trying to fix something I have no control over. Turning this over to my Maker. He has always led me through the turbulent times and I have no doubt He will now as well. Just need to be patient. His time, not mine.


On a good note, hubby and I are headed to a cool bluegrass/country afternoon tomorrow and enjoy company of many friends. Excited about that! 


N.O.P.E   never failed me yet  I'm fine , really...thanks to God and all of you and the love of the wonderful friends in my life. Have an awesome weekend everyone!

Climbing the mountains in life are a challenge. Getting over to the other side takes determination and an ongoing selection of good productive choices.

Making the decision to quit smoking, lose weight, exercise , work, get a new job, quit a job, stay in a relationship or leave one. Those are the few of the many choices people face everyday.


Determination to ride out the storms in life or move on all require you make a choice not an excuse.


Excuse's lead to failure no matter where you put them. Excuses to follow through may not always produce anything bad but they never result in encouraging you with anything good. They just prolong you obtaining it.


1. Acknowledge the Crave for what it is ~Your brains receptors want to be fed. Figure out what you can do to instead of caving in...clean out your house for instance, every cotton pickin' drawer-door and them some.


2. Look at your surroundings~ Are you somewhere physically that is inducing the    crave? Can you remove yourself from this situation and if not, what can you do to improve your surroundings? Theres always something here overlooked.


3. Consider your thoughts/Mood ~Are you reacting to them and what could you do instead of giving into them? Make it a Quest....we know who we are when we smoke, now let's discover who we are without them


4. Come to Ex~ Someones here all the time and while you may not get a reply right away, I promise as soon as people see you calling out for HELP, many will come to the rescue. In the blogs on the site. Use the search on the site and type in whatever it is that is making you want to smoke at that instance and again, I promise, many blogs will pop up that will walk you through your crave.


5. Vicks Vapor Rub~  Magic in a little blue bottle. A tad under my nose smashed craves instantly. Worked for me very well. I even used the inhaler when we went out so I would not smell like Vicks. After 3 months, I didn't need it at all anymore. I was good to go and craves were manageable.


6. Keep a journal. Write in n what is making you want to smoke at that instant, then list what you can do instead. I think its good to be aware of the triggers. And interesting to see how you got through it. Life is going to continue to happen smoking or not. Tell me this...Did the problem go away when you snuffed out the cigarette? Never did for me. It only set me up for the next cigg. and the more I smoked the faster the setup ( crave) came.


7. Expect the challenge of the crave, just don't Cave to it. When our Military Men and Women go to war, they know all there is about the enemy they are about to face. They prepare ahead of time and they have a plan of action and often several backup plans. Know what you're facing. Know your enemy~Nicotine. Don't get ambushed. This is war and consider us your backup troops. Lets do this!




We get it. While we all have our own personal journeys we have ALL had the same craves. The best way to beat the crave is to quit feeding it. Every time you

smoke, you are essentially  waking up your brains receptors and feeding them. The goal here is to starve them so they shut up and leave you alone. The longer they go without being fed, the sooner you will be on this side of Freedom and believe me, its all good and its all doable.


Bottom Line

Get out of the Cave and Engage

Smoking in Caves lead to death



Most likely there is. What are you doing to protect yourself from said storm?

Do you have provisions ready and waiting?


Storms can come quite or loudly....sometimes you hear the thunder warning you its near, other times it just comes out of nowhere and can leave a terrible trail of devastation.


Yes, the storms of life are real smoking or not smoking. Instead of smoking through them, make yourself ready to handle them. For every kind of storm there are things we can do to lessen the effects of it. Figure out what that is for you and your circumstance.. Just don't smoke. Come here first, allow us to help guide your through the storms of life. Many do, I did and you can can too. 


We are here for you and each other. You won't find a community better than this one that truly cares. Put us close to the top of the list, for a place to come for shelter.


Now go make that storm kit cause ya just never know when it will come in handy.

Song I just wrote called 'BE BRAVE'



I was driving, 

late at night

I thought .......I saw ........everything


But temptation

Challenged me

And I fell for it….again


I tried

To leave them behind

Never look back them


I cried 

Never denied

They were the best thing then



Lying to myself

Is what it came down to

Lying to yourself

Will soon catch to you


I ‘ve learned

They never solved

A sol.....itary thing


And I’ve come

To undestand

They don’t do a good  damn thing…..


To help me

Or my health

My love ............or my strife


The only thing

They’re good for

Was exiting my life



Lying to yourself

That's what it  came down to

Lying to yourself 

Will soon catch up to you….



I’m free now

Four years, 

In September........, it will be 5


I’ve struggled 

With good and bad 

And yet I have,.......... survived


Don’t tell me

You can’t do it .....

You can’t hold your own


I’ve been though it

Reach out to us

We can lead you home


( Chorus)

Lyin myself

Is  what it came down  to

Lying to yourself 

Will soon catch up to you



If you

Are in a bad spot

Your thinking can’t hold out


Come here

Type it out, 

Give us....... a shout


Be brave

Say no your not…

Not gonna....... light it up


Feel strong

The days that you’ve one

You will not give up_______________________________


Thats how we do it folks goodnight all :)