Our oldest son and his wife announced yesterday that she is pregnant with TWINS!!! She is 9 weeks ,so around Xmas, we will get this special package! We are thrilled. She is a twin herself and my Husbands Mother had triplets years ago. Poor Poor DIL, she was doomed to have a multiple birth. We have their other son here now who is 7. He said to his Mom and Dad...."I'm so proud of you Mom", hahahaha! Out of the mouth of babes!
In the morning we get our other grandson who is almost 11 months old for the weekend. Nana and Papa will be happily busy!
On another note, was in ER this past Monday afternoon. Small lung leak. My back was so sore and bad shortness of breath, lots of sinus congestion as well...Am back on prednisone and Z-PAC. Another chest X-ray next week. They really feel this is all Asthma/ Allergy related , in ER. Pollen is extremely high around our area, so maybe?? Am still folllowing up with specialist next monththough for another opinion.
Anyway, so happy I can enjoy my grandbabies and they will NEVER see me smoke or snuggle up to a stinky Nana, just sayin......G'Night all, sweet dreams!
Theres a ton of work involved in building a house. My husband and I are in that process right now. Theres so many things that have to flow together, the builder, his crew, the permits, the suppliers...and right now we are trying to be patient with the weather. The site is a muddy mess...kinda like I was when I came here to EX.
Before I could build a nice quit I realized I needed a strong foundation. But I had no idea how to do that and even when I first came here and had plenty of great advice how too....I screwed around a bit and used 'cheeper'construction material. All that got me was another failed quit.
So like building our house right now, we took the time to explore all the options and decide which materials will hold up the best. Then of course, hire qualified people to install and build.
Like my quit..... What better place to come to find qualified people to help INSTALL into my brain the best way to go about 'building my quit'?
Daily I learn something. I learn from my elders but let me tell you a something..the Newbies have much more to offer than I ever first thought. In them I see myself,...where I was, where I don't want to be again...struggling, denial, fear. They are a reminder of me when I smoked. I did nearly everything they did and experience mostly everything they are going through building their own house. They keep me on my toes and teach me to NEVER be complacent. I love all the Newbies. I love watching them build their beautiful quits. They are beautiful people who deserve it after all. I love that I get to be a part of this build for them, when they allow me.
We were hoping to pour the basement floors Wednesday of this week. The poured alls are done. The crane arrives today to set the support beam. Next Monday ( yes on a Holiday) they are planning to begin framing. Weather looks like rain though. But just like my quit, I have no idea what Wednesday or next Monday will bring. Maybe with the weather, we will luck out and everything will go by in a timely way. Maybe not.
Life is going to do as it pleases and we can't control much of it no matter where we are in our quit. Its natural to have a harder time early in our quit because we are just learning how to use the tools given to us . Thats when a good builder knows to ask for help. It can be difficult to acknowledge you need help sometime, but we ALL do....Elders and Newbies.
Well, I have said my lot for the day. Sun is out now so gonna go get busy getting busy. While our new house is a ways off from completion, I figure I am as well....except I figure I will always be a work in progress and I like it that way....always wanting to learn new things and new ways.
Went to my Nephews HS graduation tthis afternoon. Because his class is so large near 600 students, it was held at the Akron University JAG arena. Wow they really packed them in.
Anyway, once the graduation was over we all filed out in front of the main entrance to wait for my nephew and other family members so we could take a few pictures then head to the restaurant where we enjoyed a wonderful meal.
As we stood waiting I could smell someone smoking. I was surprised because I didn't think it was allowed on the campus, but anyway I saw a circle of a few people, like 4 over against the building smoking. One gal was desperately shuffling through her bag to find a lighter. She looked as though she was having a panic attack.
I could relate.
I remember all those times at different events that I could not WAIT for it to be over or have an excuse to leave and go smoke. How pathetic I was.
I recalled different times driving in my car digging through my purse, my seat, between the seat...anywhere...trying to find a lighter.
I recalled disposing of a finished cigg out the car window only for it to blow back in because I had forgotten to roll up the back window. Then panicking because I was sure my car would catch fire and explode, so I would frantically find a place to pull over and find the nasty thing.
I am ever so happy to be done with those times and now enjoy the events throughly that I attend. My car smells fresh, I smell fresh and I have the freedom I always saw in others that I always thought I could never be strong enough to fight for.
But......ALL of you Ex'ers have given my my strength and I have protected my quit and will continue us to do so. You taught me how. Elders and Newbies. You keep me focused and grateful. You taught me about choices. You taught me not to get complacent ..
I cannot afford to. I never want to ever have to start this over again.
I have arrived at Freedom and I plan to hang on tight.
I choose to leave desperation behind. He's not welcome around my campfire any longer. Enjoy the rest of your smokefree weekend, I know I will.
Anyway, I hope all our EX weekenders are having a great time. I also hope the weather is behaving for them. We got some bad storms last night here in the Buckeye State...and more on the way, looks like.
Yesterday I went to our grandsons little league game and as I returned to my car, the one parked next to me was literally filled with smoke. Upon further curious glances, I saw two small kids in the backseat and apparently 'Mother' puffing away up in the front seat while using her cell phone.
So being the helpful person that I am, hahahaha.....I tapped on her window. She rolled it down and with cigarette in mouth and phone to ear...squinting, because the lingering smoke was going directly into her eye....she just looked at me like I grew a third eye. I smiled and just for the heck of it acted like I couldn't hear her. Hmm, could she please roll the window down a little more??? She did. I added her if she knew if the next game was at this same field....She couldn't hear me as I deliberately kept my voice down as she continued to smoke so.... I asked again...by this time...she had finished her smoke.....the clouds in side the car had lifted and the kids looked happy again. I told her I knew what she was going through, that I used to smoke. She said she has been trying to quit. BRAVO, I told her about this site and the WHYQUIT site. She said she would look at them. I told her if she's serious she should at least not make the kids smoke. She looked at me funny, huh??? I said, with every cigg she smoked they were as well in the backseat....if she would only see the smoke. ooooooooooooo, she said, your right. She felt guilty and bad. She had never thought of it that way before. She and I went on our ways, and I don't know if she will come here or not but I felt I had to do something. It was like watching a dog suffer in a hot car and I told her as much. She got my point and actually didn't get defensive or mean. I was glad., These days, ya never know.
Success! Temporarily, but at least the smoke cleared even if it was a brief time for the kids in the backseat.
My message today is this. Smoking harms those around us as much if not more. Our mates suffer, our sweet children, grandchildren and our beloved pets. Consider the helpless children in the car. When we make a choice to continue to smoke, we are hurting them as well. Ahhhh, so you try to smooth it over and say " well I don't smoke around them". Yes............you do. You carry it inside you. It lingers and stinks through your very pores, your clothes, your hands.
Paint yourself into a new picture but keep the old one close as a reminder.....we don't do that anymore.
Choose today, not to. Have a great SMOKEFREE weekend.~Missy
Okay, so I couldn't resist writing ANOTHER blog. I just sat down to look over this site.... after running all over kingdom come to get quotes for the metal roof for new house and this loud buzzing noise that we have grown all too familiar with here recently, flew past my screen.
We have NEVER had these little monsters before yet we have them in abundance now. NOTHING gets rid of them. Our windows, door everything is sealed. It is especially annoying late at night if I decide to turn on the iPad in bed to read . Light attacks these little beasts and they come to join you to read as well.
I BEG YOU...does anyone have a solution to get rid of these things??? Even the pest control company has nothing to get them under control. I may need to revert to hanging an ugly yellow fly tape with a lightbulb near by ....how tacky.
AND...if you squish them they stink....the stink actually attracts more of them!
I was. Overtime I had tried in the past to quit, I began to gain weight. Then a great thing happened. I decided it was more important to quit and worry about the weight gain later.
Simple advice here. WATER/WALK
Make it your best friend. Don't worry that you will often run to the loo , within a few days your bladder will adjust and thats won't be a big deal. Besides, its good for you.....WATER/WALK
I honestly ate whatever I wanted and yep I gained weight....not a lot, maybe 10lb. I also walked and continue to every morning rain or shine. The weight I gained didn't stick around long....... WATER/WALK
The walking gives me time to reflect, pray....work things out in me brain. Takes anxiety away and energizes me. I start my water intake AFTER my walk though. I drink a lot of water in a day about a gallons worth. WATER/WALK
When I quit I put 5 pennies on the window cill next to a large tumbler and a small little cup. When ever i finished drinking a full tumbler, I slipped a penny into the little cup. At the end of the day it was my goal to have all 5 pennies in the cup. I also had on hand...and I know this is gross...a small pickle jar that I filled partially with water and old cigg butts ( did the early in my quit). Seeing that nasty jar reminded me I was poisoning myself should I continue to smoke and the water represented life. I choose life.....WATER/WALK
Don't sweat the small stuff. Drink WATER and WALK. If you cant walk..you can still drink water
...Or rather it is highly suggested to succeed with your quit.
To get paint to stick to most given surfaces, your sure to get better results buy pre-treating the surface with a primer.
Some primers are better than others. They have better coverage...they have a longer guarantee to last through water, ( storms).
This came to mind today as I am refinishing an old buffet unit. I have a certain effect in mind. I'm painting and using some industrial type hardware on it for knobs and such. Kinda fun project but made me think. I primed the entire unit first. I even had the primer tinted black to be sure it covers well. I didn't start out with my quit very well primed in the beginning, thats for sure.
I didn't do all the suggested reading...or even prep my house by ridding it of all the extra outdoor ashtrays ( I smoked outside). I didn't change my friends temporarily, as I knew I needed to because they still smoked......
As a result, just like a poor paint job thats not prepped correctly, I peeled, so to speak. I flopped around like a fish out of water several times before I finally decided I better do something about it.
I primed myself.
That was 987 days ago. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Don't allow yourself to 'peel' ...Get primed. Your worth it and besides that, its a heck of a lot easier than restarting your quit over and over again. Being properly 'primed' will help you endure the storms that are sure to come early in your quit. You will weather them much easier than you would without the primer.
On another note...am undergoing another full workup with my health problem and things looking much better already.
Had to laugh, the pulmonary doc wanted to know who gave me the Arnuity Inhaler..."You did", I told him...( that was yesterday ). I told him he has since been replaced., I would not be back...that if it quacks like a duck...its a duck. He got the point.
Have a beautiful smokeless day. I have a buffet to finish up
I think I speak for everyone in here, but as a group with new or seasoned quits, it's never our intention to hurt feelings of anyone in here. Sometimes direct advice can sound tuff or hard but it always given out in compassion. We recognize these weak moments where craving a smoke enters into our thoughts and of course the first thing anyone wants to do if in that position ,is go find someone to blame so feel as though they have permission to smoke. It's called and excuse. All of us looked for them at one time or another in our quit journey.
Its when we recognized and understood....did our homehome, that we developed a backbone instead of a wishbone and said enough was enough . We recognized the choice is ours if we want to smoke or not. Circumstances and people are not shoving them into our faces...we were. It has always been our choice all along. The freedom came when we came to recognize...'WOW, I can CHOOSE not to smoke and I can deal with whatever, without a smoke'.
Coming here and namecalling us because you feel one or all of us may have stepped on your toes is not only childish it just tells me your hurting.......hurting people hurt people. We have all hurt at one time or another in our quiit by the addiction...yet, it is not an acceptable excuse to be disrespectful in my book.
If your 'hurt' by advise given in here, then get busy getting busy reading and learning about the addiction because you don't understand it. At Ex, we share our ups and downs and sometimes that involves the very words that someone shared with us that helped us through our 'hurt'...being shared with you in hopes to help you. There's a large variety of beautiful flowers here at Ex. We alll have our our beauty to share if your willing to bloom with us. Each flower has its own beauty to share and may be looked upon differently by the viewer.....but I promise you this....
its ( our) only intention is to help you see yourself, where you are presently in your quit, so you may make a healthy choice to live smokefree . Now go bloom and build your garden.
Yes, it gets the best of us some days. It can come from out of nowhere and slam you so hard you literally can't breath. Your mind gets frozen in time. This is especially true the first few months of your quit. That's why it is essential to stay in touch in here, with us, with your reading material and stay active in your blogs.
Bad days , as you are aware, will strike any and all of us. We don't get a golden pass just because we have quit smoking that says ' Congrats, now that you don't smoke anymore, your never going to have a bad day'. The difference now is how you choose to handle it. Learning to ' get through without smoking'.
As smokers we reached for our lighters and pacson bad days. Every little thing that went wrong was deserving of a 'Smoke'. Wow, the control it had on our minds still amazes me. And even more that I allowed it to go on for so long.
i got some bad news recently that at one time I surely would have smoked over. I had a bad day. I came here and instantly all my Ex friends were there for me. Encourageing me, holding me up when I truly had no words. They allowed me to have that bad day, they allowed me to open up to them and to 'feel'.
Im moving forward though. I have a lot of important decisions to make and I will. What I mean to say is...you will too.
so please feel free to have a bad day....we have your back. Your normal and your no surprise to us. We have all had bad days, some worse than others. We can help you through if you want our support. Your ALLOWED to have a bad day. We get it. Maybe just a grumpy day, we don't care. We still have your back.
And thank you ALL for having mine.
Now go be blessed and have a GOOD smoke free day!
Oh..... I changed my aviator , that's my grandson learning on one of my Mandolins.
I am So happy. I went to my appt. yesterday and was told I do not have COPD...but I do have Asthma. I said, are they not the same? And he said no. He said about 20% of former smokers will get COPD. I am jumping for JOY!!!!
So now I am am trying to learn more about Asthma. I was put on Arnuity Inhaler once a day and given another inhaler, Albuterol, for emergency. I feel like I really dodged a bullet here. Answered prayer for sure and for certain!
Other good news is our Internet is working great again! DISH NETWORK was just here and said our router was cutting in and out and not a very good one and needed up dated. So we are back in business.
I have a crazy busy day so I gotta get going, but will hopefully stop in the evening. Stay smoke free my friends and enjoy your day, I know I will:)
I was finally able to get on my computer just now, wow have I missed it and all of you. I hope it allows me to finish this. If not, DISHTV does have a tech coming here to work on our 'issues' in the morning. Our internet has not been running consistently.
Anyway, today at 3:45 I get all my lung test results back. I have not been a happy camper to be put off for so long, as these tests were over a month ago, but no news is good news, right? Thats what I am banking on. Meanwhile I have increased activity, taking longer walks and even worked a horse the this weekend. It felt great to be back at it again. I feel amazing. No balance issues AT ALL recently.
Its also fun playing with these colors. I hope everyone is doing well. If I am on and off in here its due to my internet connection which I hope to have total resolve by the end of the day tomorrow at the latest.
Meanwhile, Happy May, Happy NO SMOKING for you and me.
Stay near to this site if your new and NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. Thats the LIE the smokes want you to believe....that you 'can't do it'.
YOU CAN...choices are not hard to make but can be difficult to follow through with. So you to tufen up...,get thick skinned, say 'NO'....GROW A BACKBONE INSTEAD OF A WISHBONE.