Some of you are aware my husbands mom passed this past Feb. It was so hard because she was an awesome woman who I had very high respect for...
We found out a couple hours ago now his oldest sister is not doing very well. She seems to be struggling with anorexia and is now down to 92 lbs. In a hospital and just got a pacemaker put in.
I paint when my nerves gets to me. Its just what I do...or I write..and write and write, so forgive me for babbling.
Our hearts are heavy right now....so I will paint long into the night, its what I do. Hubby is asleep already. He worked from 4:30 am this morning and is whipped and now also worried about his sister.... I will stay near him and offer any support I can. He works even harden under stress.
One thing I know for sure I can count on prayers from all of you. Its also what we all do. Support each other. I paint. Oh man.....I am tired but I will paint. Its what I do.
Its a better alternative than smoking. Right now I am working on sweetplt. Its turning out fairly well I think. It keeps me mind busy. I watch a dvd sometimes as I paint or Classical music....today it was the movie WAR ROOM, which I have seen many times, Reminded me i had a WAR ROOM in the other house and perhaps its time to get one going here
Tomorrow. I will.
I should be posting complete pic of Colleen in awhile., meanwhile,....just needed to write. Not smoke.Not that I have any smokes here...I do not.. I don't plan to have any here either...but I protect my quit by coming here.
I highly recommend it to anyone who's feeling like life has given you a bunch of lemons. I'm trying to make lemonade but am sorta down thinking about Mary. I will be okay though. Not gonna smoke
Let's face it. This has been one crazy year. It has brought much stress on new quitters as well as seasoned quitters and it's not going away anytime soon.
Many of us have endured personal health issues or health issues with loved ones and or friends , death of loved ones, loss of work, financial difficulties, workplace woes, anxiety, depression and the list just grows from here.
So I am reminding you of HALT. Because it has occurred to me that I also need it.
Yesterday I had a moment. Just a moment and I am truly fine now....really I am...but at that time I didn't see it. Had I been new in my quit, I may have decided to throw in the towel and smoke. I didn't. I silently came here, read some posts and got a refill of sanity....and I rested.
The power of this site and staying active in it has rewired my brain to rethink things and bathe in the choice before I jump to conclusions. I was tired. And when this human is tired her mind floats in every direction an assumes things that are not as they are, if you follow, therefore creating in MY mind , anxious feelings of doubt and worry and wonder. Folks that is a very bad cocktail that leads to bad choices
So I am posting today to just remind you of HALT. Any one of these OR any combination of these, can lead to bad choices .
Being on this site, even if your just checking a few times a week can strengthen your amend to your victory over nicotine as well as give your the encouragement and remind you of the strength offered here, to make good choices and protect your quit.....as well as help others.
Yes, 2020 has been a whirlwind of a year for many of us and it's all the more reason to be on guard and rely on H.A.L.T. and this site.
You have had enough, you are frustrated, chewing everything edible and chewing everyone out in your path because you are angry, frustrated and darn it…you WANT O SMOKE….You are thinking….I LOVE TO SMOKE……UGH!!!!! I get it- we all ‘get it’
Your angry, Damn! Why is this so hard? Others have done it yet I have tried and tried and tried and I ……
jUST…………CANT!!! Mega Crap! I hate this, I hate me, I hate that I cannot quit but I KNOW I must, I need to…. for my husband, my wife, my kids my grandkids, my friends, my…who the Heck cares…I gotta, geese.
I am going back. Back to when this crazy crap was my thinking. I did think this way. I surely did. I had many times I NEVER in a million years, thought I would be able to quit. I loved to smoke, I told myself that and I believed it. With all my heart.
Why not? Heck, it relaxed me. It soothed my emotions at any given time. It was the company that never was, if you follow. It was the calm after any storm. You too? Huh!
Well heres a news flash. Those ‘Feelings’ are lies. I learned the hard way. PLEASE take the time to read Alan Carrs book THE EASYWAY TO QUIT SMOKING. please…..PLEASE…stick with this site and read blogs on here.
1. PLEASE use the search button top right….type in ANY SITUATION you are going through…I PROMISE you will find the help you need,
2. POST NOW. Tell us what's going on.
If you are here, it is because it is time. YOUR TIME, to be precise, to get this done. Be quit…..for good.. Make your choice right now,....to count. YOU are worth it. Oh,,,,and please get and read Alan Carrs book. Is a fast read and well worth your time. You can still be smoking when you read it, but be ready....you will want to quit, before you finish the book....and most do, for good
Off in a distance you can sense its approach. You begin to feel uneasy, uncertain. You wonder if your safe...will you be safe?
You begin to think maybe you should have prepared more ahead of time.
Any one of us new at quitting or experienced with a long quit under our belt knows the seriousness of this. You can never be too careful and you must always be one step ahead of the clouds.....
You will know , as there will be warnings, DON'T IGNORE THE SIGNS...... You can hear the rumbles off in a distance ( You begin to think just one won't hurt)
You begin to see the sky light in a far off distance....light flares at first then they get more vivid and closer ( You keep thinking of excuses to smoke and while you do not realize it...your on your way to fail your quit)
You see the weather alerts on your phone or TV. You know the storms is coming
( Yet you go ahead and have that drink because your certain, it won't affect you)
Finally....the Warning horns in your county go off, you're power goes out and you are left standing in the storm, because you did not heed the warnings and you made a choice to take the chance it may not apply to you. ( You say, oh what the heck, I will quit again tomorrow).
Get the picture? Folks, believe me when I say this....Addiction has no respect for your choices. It will, however, always provoke you at the most undesirable times in life. It will steal your joy and it will ruin even the best of quits if you do not remain vigilant. Every singe soul, even those with the most years quit EVER , have to maintain vigilance
, because one puff will take us back to day one. I have seen it happen.
One puff and you throw your quit out the window.One puff and the brains receptors wake up. JUST.....ONE....PUFF.
Be aware of your surroundings, your feelings your senses and when all else fails come here and post FIRST.
They can throw you for a loop. I was not prepared to entertain today yet here I am entertaining out of State company that came not town unannounced and needed a roof over their head for just tonight. My brother and his newest girlfriend. So hubby and I are finally in bed and they are in other room watching TV when normally we would be asleep by now. Earplugs in.
He also smokes and has to go outside to smoke. He stinks when he comes in. Hate the thought of him sleeping in my guest bedroom smelling like smoke. Yuk. He says he needs to smoke for energy.
Then there's the OTHER unexpected guest in my beautiful compost pile yesterday. A RAT! I had a wheelbarrow over by it that was full of water and floating in it was a RAT! Needless to say, I am done using kitchen scrapes other than coffee grounds in my compost pile. Whats next???
Well, if your like me, I have no idea 'Whats Next' but I won't smoke over it. Because it won't change the fact that Unexpected guests 'happen'. AND THAT....is the moral of this story. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Because every time I turn around, here I am. I think we are our own worst enemy at times.
Getting away from me comes down to a choice. I will choose to make things difficult or not. Choose to accept or not, choose to dwell or not....and choose to smoke, or not.
I'm not depressed, just was thinking how much I got into my own way of my quit years ago. I allowed every excuse in the world to smoke back then. I was my own enemy. I see it now.
Going to a desert Island sounded like the only way for me to quit. Ahh well. Such is life. I had a lot of failed quits but I learned something from every one of them. Sorry to ramble. Just had this on my mind today.
I never thought it could/would be possible. I felt it totally unobtainable for me because I failed over and over again when I began my MANY quits.
I chewed the gum, sucked the lozenges, tried the patch and the meds...and every other thing I could think of.
So how did I do it? I finally decided to see exactly what it was about Nicotine that kept me in its claws and once I understood that...it lifted a heavy weight of burden and applying everything I was learning on this site finally made sense and became manageable.
Every time you take Nicotine into your system your brains receptors light up like Christmas trees. In doing so....your brains chemistry is responding to the drug and stimulated to be conditioned to set you up for the next crave. Thats it.
Thats what got me. Hook-Line and Sinker. This Hell I was putting myself would never stop until I stopped putting the drug into my system.
It made it clear for me. Thats what it took and that's when my fight began because I don't give up easy for something I am passionate about and I truly wanted the freedom from smoking.
Its yours for the taking. You will have crap days but you will have crap days anyway, so come on. Start planning your quit. Put yourself first and live longer.
We are here for you.
TGIF and N.O.P.E.
(Storms here ) They will NEVER see me smoke or smell it on me because I quit and you can to.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink
You can try on a size 8 but it won’t fit if your a size 12
You can fish without bait but you probably wont catch anything
You can go on a diet and lose weight but it wont stick it you go back to the pattern of eating you did previously
YOU CAN make stopping smoking easier if you understand the addiction
YOU CAN make stopping smoking easier if you become vigilant of your surroundings and prepare for obstacles ahead ( Have a plan of action on what you will do instead of smoke)
YOU CAN make stopping smoking easier if you are determined
YOU CAN make stopping smoking easier if you come to Ex and get to know the site and the folks here. We are like a perennial garden…we keep coming back , we share our journeys in hopes you will find elements in our quits that may match your needs for your journey.
We understand the deepest crave because we ALL had them, yet we made it….and we NEVER thought it possible. YES there will possibly be some things in the beginning of your Quit that you may need to stop for awhile…..such as parties, alcohol and maybe even your diet…..the point is, that can be temporary once you solidify your quit. Your body needs time to repair and adjust mentally and physically and it will not happen over night. But it DOES happen.
We have ideas for you. Suggestions to get you through, because to get the ‘breakthrough, you gotta ‘go through’. The better you plan your quit and prepare the less misery you will go through.
Theres a reason this site continues to flourish. It works. Simple.
Quitting smoking is not ’simple’, but we can smooth the bumps in the roads ahead in your journey if your willing to do the groundwork.
Oh….and the horses……Some will drink if led, some won’t. Thats a fact. Its also a fact that you cannot make them.
We can’t ‘make you’ quit either. Theres no magic pill-patch-book-gum or anything that will ‘MAKE YOU’ quit. They may lessen the desire, but YOU still have to do the work.
It all comes down to 'Choices'. Make 'em good one's today.
Early on in our quits I believe most of us can relate to that feeling of pressure building up. We called it by many names: doom...misery...foreboding....scared....uncertain...failure....weak....anger ....resentment...CRAVE......
You can see where I'm going with this now?
Thats the addiction having a tantrum. It's what I say is 'The call of the wild'...because it is. It's that crazy beast having a pity party and it keeps thumping you on the head telling you " You won't make.....You can't do it.....Just one more puff..."
The call of this type of Wild is Nicotine and believe me it wears more disguise's than you could ever imagine and it will taunt you relentlessly.
jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 has a couple simple solution's that I held tight to when I was new " You gotta go through to get the breakthrough"...and "Keep them away from your face".
Basically its like a solider going to war ( you are) and they go in prepared, because they know what to expect and they have backup troops ( That is this community at Ex, we are YOUR backup)
Listen....quitting is not easy no matter what route you choose to quit. If it was, we would not need this site....or each other.
So if you are new...stick around. Listen to us. We have been where you are. Our journeys may not all be the same but we arrived and we will share our strength and weaknesses with you so you can 'get through' and win this war.
I just read in our local paper an acquaintance of ours died a couple days ago. He was a chain smoker , 60 years old...died of lung cancer. Left behind a wife and son and grandchildren.
Recognize your feelings, that's a great start. Recognize the silent storm as it begins to kick up its heels then RUN....here to Ex. Don't wait until it's too late to take cover.
We are here for you and for each other....we will do to together and we will give you the Ammo you need to win the war against Nicotine.
I'm sitting in the rocking chair waiting for the 'storm' to fall asleep'...It's close.
I got a break to go take a shower as my hubby said he would watch them while I did. I was only gone 15 minutes and when I walked in the girls room they were both naked jumping on the bed. Pete says..."They took their clothes off".
I said" Where were you",...he says...They did it as soon as you walked out of the room". "Imagine that" I say.
Anyway, the storms settling down noe, they watched 'The Gruffalo ' and that always soothes them. I highly recommend....heck it makes me tired.
Anyway, going to be a busy weekend. Twins parents coming when they get off work tomorrow for the weekend. I will be back next week.
I made some more face masks, different pattern, SO much easier. Grandsons wanted 'Dino Teeth' so I painted them at 6:30 this morning before everyone was up. They are my first attempt and I don't have them even, but was fun.
****Stay well my friends, see ya next week. I've started another diet...the first one didn't have enough food allowance in it, so I figure being on 2 diets at same time ,should cover it