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Mandolinrain Blog

411 posts

You can be nice or mean if you want~

You can eat or not eat if you want~

You can wear purple everyday of the week if you want~

You can sing or dance or jump for joy if you want!

You can exercise if you want~

 

 

 

And I could go on and on and on and..........You get the point

 

You get to choose. Some things and some days and some people and circumstances can make all of the choices you will ever make more difficult...and then again, some will not. You choose how you want things to go and you can walk away or keep doing what you're doing. If you keep doing what you are doing you will get the same results. So maybe thats the thing you need to research more.....What can you change?

 

You can smoke if you want or you can choose to learn how to make the changes that will promote a healthy smoke free you.

 

Your choice.....always:)

 

Meanwhile here's my 'Storm'....my little tree huggers. This was taken yesterday at our home. They wanted to hug OLD trees because they needed hugs. Oh what we can learn from these innocent babes. I am so glad they will never see me smoke or smell it on me. I choose ME and my family....not the smokes

 

 

Have a happy weekend, see ya all after the 'Storm' blows out

I come in PEACE.....I wrote this blog 3 years ago. I don't 'think' anymore about why I failed so often when I quit smoking. I know why. Heres the blog I wrote 3 years ago. I now have over 6 years quit.  It's something I never thought I could do....but once I made a strong foundation, my quit stuck. Heres the blog:

 

Building your quit an a firm foundation

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Aug 20, 2017
  • Thats what I had to do. I had to not only learn about the tools to quit, but I had to start putting them in motion.

Oh sure, I had plenty of failure along the way. I errr, 'slipped' , as I USED to say a lot. The  I became aware...it is a choice, it always has been...My Choice. Slips are choices, people...no ice.

I began using the tools i gathered along the way in my quit journey and began really holding onto the people in here that I saw strength in. Actually....that was everyone. So much advice, so much knowledge. Some I agreed with, some I disagreed with some I came to agree with as I developed my knowledge and put it into action. 

 

I believe in EVERYONE who comes to this site. They are here because they want desperately what we have. I know, I was one of them. I ranted and raved, did a lot of whining of my own. It was MY quit after all....and bless you all...you allowed me to own it. Today I am 1083 DOF. Because with your help, I developed a backbone instead of a wishbone. You allowed me the freedom to take what I needed and leave the rest. I was not judged.

 

Our house is nearing completion. We hope to be moving by the end os September or the first week of October. It has been a hectic summer. I am tired but thrilled to finally reach this point. It is built solid. We put the best materials in it we could afford to maintain a home that should last beyond our lifetime. It was work, lots of work. It will stand for years to come.....and so will my quit.

 

I put much reading into it. Much study. Leaned on all of you ( thanks so much)  when my days were long and weary and I was totally burned out. I prepared well, finally, after several failed attempts. My foundation is rock solid'

 

I know I can never get complacent. I will protect my quit tillI take my last breath. And....as soon as I am able to get online more, I will continue come here and support those who are in need as it was given to me. This is a beautiful site and ALL of you, new and old, are beautiful dear people. This is doable. This site was a Godsend for me... Stick around. Godbless

 

Missy

Visibility: Mandolinrain Blog350 Views
Last modified on Aug 20, 2017 8:56 AM
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Wanted to share this gem with you newbies.. This stuff, stuffs craves. I used it daily under my nose and even bought the inhaler to use during times out in public so I did not smell like a medicine chest. It was an immediate CRAVE KILLER for me.

 

To this day....6 years plus later, I still find a tad under my nose at night calming as I turn in at night. 

Just a FYI

Mandolinrain

I'm Back!

Posted by Mandolinrain Oct 24, 2020

And happy to say I am just 'Peachy'......

 

It's been a long haul. My MS reared it's ugly head and it was THE WORST it has ever been for a LOOONNNNGGGGGG while. Infusions and now I feel pretty great again. I am VERY fortunate, I do not rely on a walker or wheelchair , yet.....but when I go out of remission, things are worse and often do not get better. This time, they did.

 

We are watching grandchildren more and we love it, but its tiresome yet necessary, and we LOVE the time with these kids..... She is in school finishing her Doctorate degree, we can't be any more proud of her. And her husband, our sons business is taking off doing amazing. THEY are amazing.

 

My Moms health is now deteriorating . She's 91 and stubborn, go figure,. it's very hard to see as we just lost hubby Mom this past February. 

 

But this is life....the Covid, upcoming elections....hey, we need to find the light to keep going, right? YOU ARE ALL a part of that light I have missed. So I hope and pray you're all well and look forward to getting active here again.

Looks like we have several new folks and cannot wait to offer encouragement to them as well.

 

I do plan to get back to painting Elders, but am backed up with commissioned work and some family portraits....so I WILL get to you, if your on my list.

 

XOXO

Mandolinrain

I am sorry

Posted by Mandolinrain Oct 16, 2020

Sorry that I have not been around for the past several weeks. Its been a busy time for the family. 

I have not smoked and have no intention of smoking, just a FYI. I did have a MS relapse that was pretty horrible, but am back in remission now and am doing well.

 

We have a 40 yr old family member recently diagnosed with stage 4 Spine Cancer. He will be lucky to be around for the Holidays...they give him a year. He has a beautiful wife who is our daughter in laws twin sister and 3 children. 

 

I have the children more than I used to so on the days I dont have them I am working at Hospice or catching up in my gardens winterizing them and planting some bulbs and keeping up with normal chores.  I have not had time to paint and intend to get back to that soon as well.

 

Because of Covid and because I have the little ones so much I really dont go out much so I dont catch it and give it to them.

 

Anyway, just wanted too stop by and say hello. I PROMISE I will be back here in full swing soon once I get caught up outside.

 

I love you all and think of you everyday. Thank you for the ones who have messaged me and sent me their love and prayers. Sometimes extended time from this site, is necessary  anyway....but I will be back and painting Elders again soon. I have commixed work I have to get done first though.

 

Your all dear to me in my prayers often. See ya soon. XOXOXOXO

 

N.O.PE.~Missy

Mandolinrain

Make the Chili

Posted by Mandolinrain Oct 2, 2020

Life gets in the way sometimes and sometimes we overlook friends as life goes on, unintentionally

 

 

I have not been here much as of late but you have ALL been in my mind /heart each day. Lots going on, We have a family member recently diagnosed with Stage 4 Spine cancer, so prayers are appreciated. He'd only 40 and has a lovely wife and 3 children. Very difficult and sad, Terminal.I think I have problems, then this....Hug your loved ones because you never know when news like this can come. Seriously.

 

Anyway, I just wanted ya all to know. I am still here, still not smoking and very behind on  paintings and quit tokens. I love you all and once things settle I will be back annoying all the newbies to stay on track ( cause they are worth it) , painting , making tokens

 

 

                                            MAKE THE CHILI

 

 

Love to all!

Mandolinrain

About Slips

Posted by Mandolinrain Sep 16, 2020

So you slipped?

 I have slipped also.....

On Ice-wet floors- snow-uneven surfaces-and yes even with smoking....or at least that's what I told myself....UNLESS of course your talking about a SLIP that you wear under a dress...or a SLIP of paper ????

 

Until then ,I realized I truly did not slip ( smoking) at all.....

I had been 'romancing the idea to smoke'....and so I did. I made a choice and I smoked. I did not slip. I chose. Poorly, in fact.

 

That was then, before my Elders taught me that a slip is really choice to smoke. I never accidentally 'slipped' a cigarette into my mouth and lit it up and smoked, if you follow.

 

6 plus years now for me of better choices...and no slips

Maybe not the exact pair...but yep, been there done that~

 

I've had the thoughts, " one won't hurt.....I can have a couple and be okay"

Lets be honest...it won't happen. We both now it so don't even think you kidding anyone, least yourself.

 

I've had those 'bad times'..." You cant even begin to imagine how ****** my day has been...I mean . so and so was horrible to me....I  am deathly sick.....my loved one is deathly ill....I lost a loved one.... I lost a beloved pet.....My brain is misfiring ( Ugh, that happens a lot to me....) My kids hate me....I hate me.....I am having bad life experience.....I am depressed by the politics, by COVID, by the press, by the very people I call friends......and the list goes on.....Care to add to it?... Be my guest....

What can you do a out it. Not a damn thing. And guess what, smoking it away just gives you one less day of freedom. So you end up cheating yourself. Hows that for a dose of reality.?

 

listen, winter is coming soon enough. I myself prefer STEWING in the winter..it just tastes better, if ya follow. Theres enough crap going on in the world so lets focus on what we CAN CHANGE, and quit focus on what we can't.

 YOU CAN CHOOSE to not smoke. Lets start there

Mandolinrain

Come Home

Posted by Mandolinrain Sep 4, 2020

The last smoke

Was no joke….

I tried to make it last

 

I had no more

I’m done, I swore

Then

 found myself back at the store, to fast

 

I had no plan

It was just me

I didn’t need your help

 

But then one day

On my knees I prayed…

And in my heart I felt..

 

Thats why were here

Far or near

At all hours of the day

 

To get you through

That very tuff moment

So tomorrow you can say….

 

“ I’ve a day WON

I’ve just begun

I don’t need to do this alone….

 

I came to Ex

You know the rest

 I finally found my way home”

___________________________________________

Happy Labour Day Weekend.

Be safe and N.O.P.E.

Mandolinrain

3x2=6

Posted by Mandolinrain Sep 2, 2020

I woke up this morning and didn't even remember today was my 6 year anniversary until just a few minuets ago. Thats how much I think about smoking these days.. Hardly ever.

 

Smoking is not something I dwell on anymore because we broke up 6 years ago. Good riddance..

 

I used to plan everything and I mean EVERYTHING, around them....they dictated every part of my day from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. I always obsessed to make sure I would not be without them. Now I cannot even tolerate others 'smoking' around/near me. Its a huge turn off.

 

HOW I DID IT....after being a victim of MYSELF ( because I was the only one responsible for not making the best choice for me) and many failed quits......

 

1. Started with admitting I was powerless over Nicotine and needed  God to point me in the right direction.

    I submitted. The final straw.

 

2. Educated myself on WHY nicotine held me so tight, Learning from this site, read Alan Carrs book THE EASYWAY TO        

    QUIT SMOKING), which was a life changing eye opener to me. Fast short read Highly recommended.

 

3. Made a plan for what I would do in all situations instead of smoke. Even went as far as filling up a jar in the kitchen with tons of slips of paper that had little suggestions. So when a crave came, I would usually go there first.

 

4. Made decision to make the CHOICE not to smoke through thick and thin because thick and thin moments happen to 

     non-smokers as well. Pulled up my big girls panties and N.O.P.E. since.

 

My tips:

 

1. Vicks Vapor Rub and the inhaler were a Godsend for me. For some reason it calmed me down and squished

     cravings away almost immediately.

2. Drank a lot of water 

3. Cleaned my house like a white tornado. Nothing was left amiss.

4. Used a mini tramp I kept near to jump away craves.

 

One more thing. I was pretty active on EX prior to my FINAL quit but I was so embarrassed at all my failures I stayed away till I had some good 'time' under my belt. I dont recommend that. 

 

My favorite quit quote that also apply to other areas in my life:

 

 

 

Have a wonderful Day. N.O.PE.

Missy-6 years freedom as of today

 

 

 

 

 

 

What comes easy , won't last and what lasts won't come easy.

Mandolinrain

Dark Day

Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 25, 2020

I am but one week away from 6 years of freedom and I nearly gave in today.

 

We have had our 'granddog' here since Sunday. My son took his family on a small vacation and 'Yeti' has been here a few times a did well......so, we said sure.

 

All was well. I have an extra large crate I was using for him ( 4 year old French bulldog). Yesterday he was fine until late afternoon. He was acting tired, lazy. Its been hot here, but we only put him out to do his business. Otherwise he and our Doberman, Nico, are great buddies and pretty much laid on the rug in family room all day together. Either not too active. 5:30 he turned down dinner so after our dinner, I made a blanket nest on the sofa and we decided he must just be homesick, so we all watched a TV show and cuddled. When we turned in for the night he slowly navigated to his crate next to our bed. Nico sleeps in the bed with us.

 

Fast forward 6:15 this morning. Yeti is stirring around and whining in his cage. Hub had left already for work. Im thinking he needs to go out, so I open his crate door and wonder out to kitchen and put garage door up, Nico comes out but no Yeti.  I walk back through kitchen and Yeti is dragging BOTH hind legs and can't walk. Period.

 

I know this is an emergency so I load him straight away into the Tahoe and call the vet. Yep, get to Medvet in Columbus Stat.

 

6:30 we are headed to Interstate 71. Rush hour in Columbus when we arrive, me crying the whole way blinded by fear and tears. They are all waiting for me to arrive, the Docs.

 

I waited 4 hours in parking lot because due to this COVID *&^%$#, I cant go in with him.

Results came from MRI- Diagnosed with IVDD. He had total rupture of DISCS BETWEEN l3-4 and 5-6 with blood present in Cord area, stenosis and total back paralysis. He had no deep pain sensation. Decide about surgery, 50-50 chance later IF he pulls through and what capacity and quality of life ahead? He may never walk again and / be able to pee without being expressed and 6 month recovery. I CANNOT make this call.

 

I had to call my son and his wife. Understandable so, they are devastated. I cant help but feel responsible and the desire to smoke is haunting me. But I don't.

 

Yeti was euthanized awhile ago. The desire to smoke Is gone, I am just drained. Smoking would not change this situation. I know that, but it sucks just the same. I used to smoke for comfort, today I just asked God to help me do the next right and best thing and to please comfort my grandson who I knows heart is bursting and I cant 'fix it'.

 

Theres a lesson for him in this, I know that, but it just won't make the hurts go away...yet.

 

Im numb for them. Bad day. Dark day. we ALL have them. 

 

Smoking will not fix this. I am mostly devastated for my son his wife and the kids. I just have no words for them and I know they do not blame me, yet....he died on my watch. I am sick about it. I am also going to bed.

Sorry so long. I will not smoke.

Mandolinrain

Lemons vs Lemonaide

Posted by Mandolinrain Aug 23, 2020

Been binge watching YELLOWSTONE.

Smoking has much in common with it.

Smoking addiction stands steady to do whatever it needs to do to convince you that you can never leave it ( smoking)....much like the cowboys that join the ranch...many are branded and pledge their allegiance to the Ranch , no matter what.

 

Smokers often fall into that category. Although many of us do find the freedom, the choice to leave the Ranch.

 

As much as I enjoyed, or thought I did, The Ranch, I am grateful for the greener pastures on the other side.

 

Don't buy into ( be fooled) by the Nicotine lie. Run away...run far far away.

Green pastures are a glorious choice over molded hay.....and yes, that's a metaphor.

Maybe sharing some parts of our life helps.

Helps.... for us to understand where we come from. and all the why's...

 

 

So I will throw out the first 'stick' ( I have enough to burn a large bon-fire, FYI)

 

i am adopted..... partially. Don't know Bio Dad. I did experience abuse. I am avid lover of people and animals...love gardening and learning new tips on that subject. Love all that has to do with nature, water, hiking, biking, skiing ( snow) fresh air fresh clean organic gardening, trees, art, music, ( all kinds especially folk, bluegrass and classical)

I love meeting new people, learning new things, poetry , reading, true story movies , documentaries, biographies, plays, symphony, I adore Opera  .....and most of all......( Aside from  my family) I love this site and all of you.

 

Seems like such a stash, but hey...... I also used to smoke over ALL of them. An Excuse, I must say. I smoking helped me tolerate all the above at times. I am 62 now and am just figuring this all out, somewhat.

 

See how much I gave credit to smoking when in fact it didn't credit me at all.  It's an addiction  folks....and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can get not with your quit, your story, cause we all have one.

 

For me the hardest part of quitting was to allow myself to Experience being uncomfortable for X amount of time, to detox. Period.

 

The detox take different time for each of us. If you're using an aide,such as patch or gum, it will take longer because you are still feeing nicotine into your system.

 

Just wanted to throw this out there, hope it helps someone. We all hurt.Smoking or not, thats not gonna change. Plenty of folks who have never smoked hurt. Just want you to know HURTING CAN BE ADDRESSED WITHOUT SMOKING

 

Well. in the morning, I have 'The Storm' and more grandkids so me time here is limited till Monday.

Night'all

I don't care about what religion you follow or your spiritual beliefs

I don't care about your skin tone

I don't care about your residency, city-state-country

I don't care about your political beliefs

I don't care if you work or not

I don't care if your educated or not

I don't care if you have a disability or not.

I don't care about your sexual preferences........

 

What I do care about is to help support you so you don't smoke. Period. My only agenda.

 

Nothing more , nothing less. I share my experiences and thats all I can do. Share my story. This site is full of different ways/stories. its nice because we all are not the same and we all have different needs.

 

Find the story that fits you and follow it. No ones here to judge or be judged.

 

We are just here to quit and stay quit with Nicotine Addiction.

 

Pretty straight forward.

 

Take what you need and leave the rest....someone will always come for your leftovers

I just loved this guy. He was Fox 8 Meteorologist for 55 years and passed a law in Ohio called Goddards Law that anyone who harms an animal is prosecuted as a 5th degree felony offense.

He had such a compassionate heart and soul and touched everyone who ever knew him. His passion was to help anyone and especially animals less fortunate and had such a giving loving spirit. I will miss him.

 

R.I.P. Dick Goddard