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Being Afraid

Posted by Ladybug--7-3-12 Mar 30, 2019


Ive heard this excuse a lot for smoking again.  Being afraid of feeling your emotions to get through something & choosing to smoke to stop them from bleeding you.  Who of us hasn’t felt fear or anxiety or fill in the blank?  Yet we long termers chose NOT to smoke again.  


What is going to happen to you if you feel those emotions that you’ve hid behind your smoking screen for many many years in most cases?  You’d finally have the opportunity to process them and let them go or put them in their proper places which is a good thing.  An absolutely positive benefit of not smoking.  


If you smoke again you may ward them off once again but if you really want to Be Quit you will have to deal with them eventually.  Personal growth is a required prelude to the Freedom you will eventually feel.  It’s worth every bit of the struggle or overdue processing of your emotions that you need to do to get to the point of gratefulness & peace in your smobriety and, more importantly, in your LIFE.  


If you are sick and tired of the same ‘ole same ‘ole smoking life only you can do something about it.  Nobody else can do it for you.  Other people (& NRT’s, etc.) can help but in the end its totally up to you to get & keep your quit.  The good news is it’s one of those things you have total control over.


You are not unique in this process.  You are not the only one that has had to go through it to come out the other side.  We not only survived it but gained so much of ourselves in the very doing of it.  The process itself is empowering.  Don’t be afraid of it.  Relish it.  



Posted by Ladybug--7-3-12 Mar 28, 2019



Have you ever looked through a Kaleidoscope?  If you turn the cylinder (or instrument) you are looking through a little bit to the right or left you get an entirely different picture or perception of things.  The shapes & colors change into a totally different visual experience.


That's how life is too.  We've all heard stories about how a person decided not to take a scheduled flight which ended up crashing.  The person who decided to take a different road to work or delayed leaving for work for a few minutes and avoided a catastrophic accident.


Again, that's life.  The choices we make results in changing the specific events we experience in our life.  When (not if!) you make the choice to become smoke free (or stay smoke free) your life will look & become different.  It shifts.  You will be changed.


If you are open to see, acknowledge, and appreciate the different possibilities now available to you because of your smoke free status you can get a different perspective on life. Your personal resources (time & money) can be used in more positive life affirming constructive ways.  A smoke free life allows for many more possibilities for us to choose from for ourselves.


Choose to quit.  Choose to stay quit.  Choose to then pick up your personal Kaleidoscope and don't be afraid to turn it to change your pattern & explore new pathways to make a different life & better ending for yourself.


Freedom is awesome!  Happy discovery! 




Posted by Ladybug--7-3-12 Mar 25, 2019


Do you think because of personal issues (mental, emotional, physical, financial, situational) that it is impossible for you to quit or stay quit?


Do you think nobody really understands just how hard it is for you?


Have you "tried" and "tried" and "tried" and just can't get quit or stay quit?


Do you tell yourself that there is something just "wrong" with you that doesn't allow you to be successful like others?


These thoughts need to be addressed (lies debunked) if you answered yes to any of these questions so you can quit telling yourself such nonsense. Until you change your self-talk, drop the helplessness, and start to believe in yourself (and do the honest work required) you'll continue to run around the relapse Merry-Go-Round "trying" to get a hand hold so you can jump on to smobriety.


Educate yourself about nicotine addiction (it helps to understand why you feel the way you do physically, emotionally & mentally when you quit) and put together your Quit Kit to help you get through the quitting process. The hardest part is always in the beginning. As far as "trying" goes -- remember TRIUMPH is the word "tri" with just a little more "umph". Lean on the community. Pledge daily and mean it.


You need to absolutely believe that no matter how bad you may feel at any given time in the first hour, the first day, the first week, the first month, or the first year, that it will change eventually for you, bit by bit, for the better as you go through the process if you just don't smoke. Not One Puff Ever.


It's doable. You CAN do it. A whole brand new shining smoke free world awaits you once you stop running around "trying" to catch the Merry-Go-Round. Jump on instead. No more Day One's for you. Every day can be a Day Won!


Why Me?

Posted by Ladybug--7-3-12 Mar 23, 2019


Someone once said to me after being diagnosed with cancer,  “Why me?  I quit so I wouldn’t get cancer.  I should have just continued smoking & ‘enjoying’ myself instead of quitting.  I’ve been sicker since I quit smoking than I ever was before I quit.”


This someone was a former smoker who smoked for four decades.  He quit smoking and then four years later was diagnosed with cancer.  He lived another 6 years with treatment extending his life to the age of 72.  Instead of thinking why him, I was thinking “Well, why not him (or me for that matter)?” Quitting is never a guarantee we won’t have consequences from our smoking.  

I don’t wish cancer on anyone … a never, former, or current smoker.  Nobody deserves it no matter their part in it.  The chances of active & long term smokers getting a smoking related cancer is very high.  But the chance of getting cancer after quitting is less than that & the chance of getting cancer if you have never smoked is even less than that (to be precise & scientific lol).     

We never know as an active smoker which one will be “the one” that starts the process.  We do know that our risk stats go down when we quit and continue to go down each year we remain smoke free. (Of course most damage, like COPD, is from cumulative smoking which can’t be cured but can be slowed by quitting.)   


For those on the fence about quitting or choose to go back to smoking over & over again I honestly don’t want to hear about your concern of getting cancer as an active smoker.  I do have empathy & compassion but why are you still smoking if you’re so concerned about it?  Do something about it!  The risks are known.  Why continue to play Russian Roulette?  Quit & then stay quit.  We will all suffer the consequences of our own choices.                


The smoker referred to felt great despair at the end of his life much of it due to knowing that as a long term smoker he probably did it to himself.  He was actually very frightened of the end death process.  It’s much much easier to quit smoking & stay quit.  


A cancer death is not a “normal” process to participate in & witness.  Trust me, it’s not.  Please don’t let it be you.


Adulting 101

Posted by Ladybug--7-3-12 Mar 21, 2019


Giving yourself permission to smoke again after you’ve quit can be worse for you than the actual physical act of smoking (bear with me here). The choice & permission given to smoke again really hurts us and may begin the relapse cycle many find themselves in.


I recently saw a post from someone who had been quit a month, smoked “just a few”, and then immediately got back on the quit train. The comment made was surprise that it was just as hard if not even harder to not smoke again thinking that since he had been quit for a month and only had a few and quit again right away that it would be easier.


First, I say congrats to this person for getting right back on his quit without allowing more smoking time to pass. It’s been my experience & what I’ve seen that many who relapse after being quit for a good bit of time (6 mos to a year or more) usually take longer to quit again than the actual time they had been quit. Again, it’s the permission you give yourself to smoke one (or a few) that can cause the most harm to you.


This was certainly true for myself. I had a previous quit of a year and a half but when I went back to smoking I smoked for a little bit longer than I had been smoke free (one year 10 months) before I quit again. Once you give yourself permission to smoke you may be thinking I can always quit again. You may be telling yourself that you just want to “enjoy” smoking a little while longer. That little while often turns into a lot of time smoking again.


I didn’t really appreciate my first quit. When I gave myself permission to have one it opened my “permissions” gate to eventually have another one (& then another & another). I fell back into the addiction trap of believing that I enjoyed it, could always quit again & that I could control the amount I smoked. I never really thought of myself as an addict back then.


The problem was the permission I gave myself. Smoking is not just a bad habit, it’s an addiction. The only way to control “it” is to not feed it until it becomes dormant. The only way for it to stay dormant is to never have another one again to be guaranteed 100% of no relapse.


I call it Adulting 101. Tell yourself “No” or “NOPE” out loud. Don’t give yourself permission for the first one. You know what it will lead to so don’t do it. Quitting again does not necessarily get easier with addictions because its the previous permission(s) you gave yourself that can make it harder to say no to yourself again. It’s up to you to parent yourself. Tell yourself no and mean it.