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Kim_previously_Nic-Fit Blog

44 posts

Description

 

Time to re-join the "real" world. You see, I've been in Disney World, staying at a magical resort, for the last whole week. And friends, I can not find words to describe this once-in-a-lifetime experience I just had with my daughter and my grandkids!

I already miss the palm trees, the gecko's, and the love-bugs! I'm glad it's fall here, the leaves are beginning to change, and I'm happy to see that, as well.

Love all my friends here! Kim


Brief Description

I'm a 43 yr. old Mother of 3, and Grandma of two very young children. I want to live for them!


Website

No website in profile.


Location

Pennsylvania


Interests

Building a new (smoke-free) life for myself.


Skills

Scrap-booking, camping, Drafting, Quilt-making, Ceramics, fishing


I promise I'm reading your comments, the flu bug has a strong hold here. So far, I haven't been sick, but just super-busy taking care of everyone else (times two households, since my oldest is grown with her own kids, n a single Mom).

I'm doing good, no time for anything else, either.. lol. He sure does have mysterious ways... Love it!

But I think it'll help ME, even, so I'm gonna share it here!

"Welcome to the most wonderful group of supporters on the web! You're gonna love it here. When you find a rough spot, jump online. If you're not near a computer, jot a few words down for yourself that friends here have written you, stick it in your wallet, and draw strength from it! Keep your Quit. You are so worth living life to the fullest!"

............... And so am I!

I used to smoke at my neighbor's house, me, her, and her Mom, like 8th and 9th, probably most of 10th grades, too, every morning before school. Well, my friend found me on the web, I pm'd my cell number, n she called tonight. We talked about everything n nothing at all. Until she told me she was a wreck 2 years ago, when her mother died. I, of course, said, "I'm so sorry... What happened?" She told me about how her mom was diagnosed with, suffered with, and died from, lung cancer.

My problems seemed insurmountable this morning, when I broke down and bought a carton of cigarettes for myself, giving up on this whole crazy notion of quitting. Then my eyes were opened, once again. Smoking's death and destruction is REAL, and put in my path nearly every day... seeing folks with an oxygen mask, or a cloth covering their neck, talking with that mic thing, now this........... up close and personal. My God is getting up close and personal with me. That's the relationship I used to have with Him, and He's letting me KNOW... I can choose how I will live, or I am going to choose how I will most certainly die, if I keep smoking.....   It's my choice. My free will.

So I cannot return the cigarettes for the money I'm out, and I will not pass them on to help another person die, either. One day is all they will have to sit in the trash before our garbage man comes. And it's good because I'm only going to take this one day at a time, or else I may become too overwhelmed and fail.

I do not intend to fail, I do not intend to even stumble. I cannot ignore these signs. My family needs me. I need to be alive for them, for they have TOLD me this is so, as well!

I am going thru some really rough things right now, my faith in myself and other beliefs are NOT seeming to hold me together right now.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I've read my comments and my answers to blog posts, as well as my inbox. I have hopes and dreams for myself and my family, and emotionally I'm a wreck. Too many medical issues within my very young family members, and its taken the focus OFF of my own COPD and even the very value of my own existance.

I'm struggling, please pray to the Higher Power of your own belief, that I lick this smoking, and my family members get better, as well. Thank You.

But it has to be known. I slipped already since my return from my trip! I'm not smoking like I was (yet, and hope NOT to be), but I'm not ready to put up the countdown clock I took down when I edited my profile, because I already bought a pack since I came home from Florida. YESTERDAY! ARGH. I'm blogging it today, coming clean, about this dirty, nasty, "habit"...  HA! right? its so much more than that. It's the strongest addiction I think anyone could have, and although it's less acceptable to the general public that it was 30 years ago, when I started, its still legal. In fact several places still have an area set aside, even if its outside, for smokers, so they don't lose half their clientell. (Spelling, I know)

I'm gonna begin the tracker process again, so I'm aware, really aware, of my urges, even if I don't smoke. Something DID set me off, but not even worth mentioning because I'm not giving myself excuses! That leaves more room for me to keep messing up vs. keep my Quit!

Thank you to everyone who left a comment, or a message on my board. I'm so sorry alot of us went thru this, but we've all reported and deleted it, and can put it to bed. Thank you, my friends! For everything this community does to help and support me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

  

HERE IT IS MY FRIENDS!

 

[email address removed]  

 

Hello Dear,
my name is sharon i saw your profile at www.becomeanex.org and i
found
pleasure
to write you as my my friend so that we can communicate to each
othere,please mail me through my email address
([email address removed]  )
that i will send you my pic for you to know who i am for the love and
pleasure i have develpoed in your lovely profile i awaits your lovely
reply
as soon as you get this mail.
sharon
please please please contact this email directly

  

[email address removed]  

I was so happy to find this site. But one person has ruined my experience here. I will not be back for some time. Thank you for understanding. Kim

I'll be camping in the rain, freinds, with my kids and grandkids, but I wanted to mark the one week point for myself. Proud of me! lol.

My daughter got her lerner's permit yesterday (driving), and made it about a foot and a half, hit a parked car pulling out! As I had my cell in my hand, getting police to make a report, I found myself still digging in my purse. Where were my cigarettes??? It actually took me a minute to remember and get back into the car's console and grab me a twizzler stick! I'm gonna gain tons of weight, but I'll worry about that later.... whatever works for now!

My kid was completely freaked out during a recent coughing fit after my Spiriva, before bed. She hardly slept that night. I told her it just gets worse till my body can rid itself of those toxins... my body is working overtime! Picked up the twizzler sticks... thanks for the tip! They really do help with that hand to mouth thing we ex's have a hard time with!

No matter your DOC, they all kill, take time from your family, and make us regret that first hit... yes, cigarettes are included very much so in the long line of addictions. Wish they weren't even legal, so others could help give us encouragement, those who know nothing about addictions, but clerks could have info. for us, etc., police could cite us, and so on. Not sure what would help the current generation, but these implacations would surely help future generations. Anyone with me on lobbying to get this illegal?

kim_previously_nic-fit

"A New Week"

Posted by kim_previously_nic-fit Aug 30, 2010

Sorry, my friends, I haven't been by my pc very much cuz my nephew just left for basic training for the service at 3 a.m. this morning, so I was busy with family this weekend, saying our goodbyes, for now. Lots of laughter, lots of crying, lots of praying... emotional weekend, but I'm hangin' in there! Mostly cuz almost all of them have already quit smoking, except my mom. She did it for 4 months, then went back to it. I'm hoping to be HER inspiration one day!

kim_previously_nic-fit

"A New Evening"

Posted by kim_previously_nic-fit Aug 28, 2010

... taking the advice to re-name my blog. Spent the day on the beach, under my umbrella... not feeling too good, heat aggravates it.... but enjoyed my day there, a nice family bbq and our first dinner around my new dining room table today, too. My grandkids are spending the night, so I'm off to settle them into bed. It's been a long day, my friends, the coughing is INSANE. I'm running a low grade fever again, too, but scheduled to see dr. this Thursday, so I'll discuss it then. I'm sure it's bronchitis again, my back is aching from coughing, and my throat's sore from it, as well. I can't wait to get to bed and get passed this part. I'm glad I already knew what I was in for from last month. I'm stronger now.... this slip has cost me alot, and taught me alot, too. Goodnight, all. YES, hate the smoking, love the smokers (the ex's here are the best!)