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Share your quitting journey

Testing the waters

kts-ky
Member
0 6 1

Good Morning All,

Just wanting to say hello and see if I can figure out how this blogging stuff works (call to mind the TV commercial where the old woman has "posted" her vacation "pics" to her living room wall and you'll have a pretty good idea of just how sophisticated I am at this sort of thing).

I haven't been able to sustain a quit yet but will be giving it another go very soon. I just reset my date for tomorrow but I'm having 2nd thoughts... I've quit so many times this year and started over that I think I don't need to do the planning and prep but it's dawning on me as I get down to my last few cigarettes that I don't have any muchies or gum.. oh well. I suppose I could go out to get those things as easily as a new pack of smokes. I think I'll just plan on getting a shower and putting on a patch instead. IF I feel like going out after I can get munchies then.

I have been home alone with the flu since Christmas Eve and today is my birthday. I am a little bummed. Not that awful, terrible, black place bummed... but if I chose to go there I could. Instead I chose to be grateful that the flu symptoms are letting up instead of getting worse, that I will be a non smoker soon and for the rest of my long life, and that I still get to celebrate Christmas and my birthday with my family when I am up to it. 

Of course I am only human and my grateful attitude was not enough to save me from my addiction which was hammering on me... it only took a few minutes of focusing on poor poor pitiful me and how deprived I was to justify my actions. What really frustrates me is that I should know better by now... there is always going to be something to feel bad about or fret over but smoking a cigarette never really made any of it better or easier. 

I guess that is enough since I don't even know if this is gonna work.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Thanks

KTS  

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