How much more can one person take. In 23 days, I’ll be smoke free for one year. And I can tell you in the last 3 months I have been very tempted in trying, stressful times. I have been the care taker to my 87 year old mother, because of sundowners, fractured her right elbow. This is the third incident in 4 months that has placed her in medical care. This last incident left me with no other choice than to protect her with 24/7 care. For a month I was able to indulge her in the care in the comfort of her home. Even paying under the table, and with me covering 4-5 days, funds would run out by summer. But by God’s grace, and Adult Foster Care home called with an opening. I’ve place her on several waiting lists, never thinking that an opening would arise.
My husband has been out of state for two months, so my wonder son, who was against an AFC facility. He was my objective opinion, as he has a medical background, and would be very critical of any facility for seniors. To both of our surprise, beautiful, warm, inviting, loving were the description of this facility. I would be crazy not to proceed in the interview process for her to be accepted. She was approved.
The hardest task I had to face was transporting her to the facility. Too painful to explain that scenario. That was 5 days ago, and Mom is adapting, and I am coping. There is no word in the dictionary to describe how I feel.
Happily, my husband returned 3 days earlier than expected, I have never been more happy for my best friend come home, just to hold and ‘be’.
His happy homecoming was cut short with my beautiful daughters husband being arrested …for drug use, manufacturing and distribution. We went through this same ordeal one and a half years ago. With a heavy heart, she stayed with him, thinking her love would be the strength to keep them together. This life style is very foreign to us, and kept our distance. This beautiful, bright woman has wasted 10 years of her life with someone so blind to her love, and chose his addiction. She may loose her home, but she will have a life she is so deserving of, but will take her time to embrace her gifts.
In closing, to my surprise, I have not smoked. The craves have been stronger than my first months of quit…but am extremely proud that I have past these tests of life’s disappointments.
Smoking would not solve the issues at hand. Those are the words repeated in my head over and over. Those words were taught to me by this site.
Despite the changes, and lack of the personal feel, I owe this site enormous acknowledgment.
And to Sharon, the larger than life inspiration of staying strong in her quit.
Stay strong in your quit.
Kathy
