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2017

Indecisive

Posted by JustSharon Apr 30, 2017

I'm moving awfully slow this morning and really do not know why. Jake and our daughter are waiting on me to get ready to go shopping for the day. All I've thought about this morning is smoking and I don't like that at all. I've read Marilyn.H.July.14.14. my morning inspiration and that has assured me I won't smoke, just the thoughts drive me nuts. I'm guessing I get off my lazy duff this morning I will jump in that shower and feel anew! AW maybe one more cup of coffee is what I need. Do I sound indecisive? Yep, think I might be. I'm going to try to have a good day and hope the best day ever for all of you dear friends and Exers.

Only a moment

Posted by JustSharon Apr 29, 2017

Only have a few moments this morning but wanted to pop in and say hello. Wishing you all a very nice smoke free day!

Spring cleaning

Posted by JustSharon Apr 28, 2017

Been busy with some Spring cleaning this morning, hobbling around on what I call my two legs. No easy feat. Just wanted to take a break and spend it with my EX family. Has anyone heard how Bree is doing after her surgery? I've been trying to keep up with all the conversations and blogs possible I missed how she is doing. Was happy to hear Chuck and his wife were getting along as best they could. I'm still smoke free and that's a good thing, I had thought how a smoke would go nice during my many breaks during cleaning, but a thought it was. Well I had better get back at the bedding. I feel my legs are going to need my nice comfortable bed here pretty soon. Hope you all are having a nice smoke free spring day. Believe it or not, we've got sunshine today, shocking.

Tired

Posted by JustSharon Apr 27, 2017

Yes, Maxine can be nice once in a while, LOL. I didn't sleep well last night, so I was in here on the computer reading blogs and responding, only to wake from a sound sleep on the keyboard. Should be enough to see me through the day. My 21st day of freedom. I wish I could say that I was feeling great about that, but my mood isn't the best as I'm typing this. Lack of sleep will do that to you. Jake and I both have to go in for blood work to day and pick up medications. We use a Naval Hospital and the procedure for getting new refills is pick a number, wait for 45 minutes, get called to the desk where your identity is verified then go sit back down for 40 more minutes until you are called up by number to pick up your meds. It's long but we don't pay a dime and that is the blessing of all the years Jake served as a Naval Reservist. I don't have plans to smoke, it's NOPE for me, but I do have to be on alert when I'm tired. Hope you have a great smoke free day.

Thank you for your prayers

Posted by JustSharon Apr 26, 2017

My daughter is home and was not sent to jail, she'll be on probation for a while but for now she is home.

Another day another dollar

Posted by JustSharon Apr 26, 2017

Look at those dollars add up. Unfortunately our budget was starving for the extra dollars so there will be no special get away for us, but its nice to make it to the end of the month! Just one of the many benefits of not smoking. I enjoy my coffee more now on my back porch and don't miss smoking with it at all. I'm beginning to cough less and I don't feel as groggy in the morning when I wake up. Not smoking is Great! I still have my moments when I crave and as you elders have promised, that will get better. I'm hoping at least. I have completed 20 days of not smoking so now I'm beginning my third week. I'm so excited about that!

                                                                                                                I want to ask you for your prayers this morning. My daughter is in some legal trouble and on her way to court. Would you please pray with me for a fair outcome?

Thank you.

Sharon

Fighting The Urges

Posted by JustSharon Apr 25, 2017

I never did get to writing a blog yesterday. Reading and responding took up all the time I had. I made it a busy day for myself so I got through all those little craves quite quickly. One must fight the urges in any possible way whether it be keeping physically busy or keeping your mind busy enough to ward off old nicodemon! This is not my first rodeo and I should just breeze through these first few weeks, but it just doesn't work that way. I'm as much a newbie as anyone here for the first time. I struggle too, But this is doable and I am doing this! I'm hoping for all of you, new or not, a very good smoke free day!

Not always busy

Posted by JustSharon Apr 23, 2017

I'm slow this morning, wish I had bright eyes like this little girl has. AW another cup of coffee should do the trick! I must say that a lot of my triggers have up and vanished, but craving still continues to be a nuisance. Getting busy helps, but there are times I just don't feel up to being busy, so I really have to fight during that time. I seem to be making it ok, with 17 days now. I sit on my back porch with my coffee which was once a trigger, but I just don't allow that to disturb my quit. We get so much rain here in WA and I do enjoy sitting outside watching and listening. I am using the patch and the other day my doctor gave me some gum to help during those nasty craves when I don't feel like being busy. It is working for me so that is the regimen I will keep. I need and want this quit to be successful and I'm doing it one day at a time. Wishing you all a super smoke free day.

Another smoke free day

Posted by JustSharon Apr 22, 2017

Oh it sure felt good to sleep in again this morning. I bought a 5inch thick feather bed to put on our mattress and that alone makes me want to sleep all day. And then I woke to a smoke free day, how great is that! 16dof and I've hardly noticed the time go by! It can't decide whether the sun will shine or if clouds will reign over the day. Good day to put Maison's bed together. I told Jake I'm kind if tired of looking at the box. So he is going to put it together today. My grand son will arrive on June 16th, how happy he will be to find that grandma and papa don't smoke anymore! That alone keeps me motivated. Have a wonderful smoke free day.

Sharon

About Encouragement

Posted by JustSharon Apr 20, 2017

With my new medication dosage I am finally getting a good night sleep, all night, which greatly improves my mood. I'm feeling very stable with my bi-polar and it's about time!! It all makes the difference in how I handle my quit craves and triggers. Oh yes, only 2 weeks in and I still battle, but I have arranged so many things to do with my hands and my mouth that those times don't seem near as difficult as in previous attempts at quitting. I keep up with my reading everyday and always find encouragement reading other blogs. I highly encourage others who are new at this to keep up with the same. There is a wealth of information here and great friends and Exers that one can always reach out in time of need. Me, I need you all, all of the time! Wishing you all a wonderful smoke free day and I will have the same!

Ending Week Two

Posted by JustSharon Apr 19, 2017

I will have completed day 14 by the end of this day. I fully intend to make that a reality. The time seems to have gone by so quickly, not always so easily, but nicodemon puts up its share of the fight as well as I have at times. But I have made it. All of you here have made it easy for me to stay quit, along with a good tool kit, I've made it through. Being in so much pain is why I think the hard times came, but I ended that yesterday. I  popped in at the docs office and spoke with the nurse to get me something for my pain. He gave me 30 pills with the condition I set up a follow up appt. I did that right away. I feel a bit better this morning, though nothing is going to completely eliminate the pain in my right knee,(except for surgery) the meds do help a little.

Well I'm off to reading this mornings blogs and learn some more as I never stop learning from all of you EXers.

Have a wonderful smoke free day, I know that I will.

Difficulties

Posted by JustSharon Apr 18, 2017

I was sitting on my back porch thinking about how quitting smoking was working for me. I began to think of my mother-in-law who had a 15 year quit yet still died of lung cancer. I thought of my brother-in-laws father who had a 20 year quit and died of lung cancer. I thought of Jake who gave up a 17 year quit 2 years ago and worry he will suffer the fate of his mother. He had 3 aunts also each of whom died of cancer and were smokers up to the very end of their lives. I thought of myself with moderate COPD and was told by my pulmonologist that those who die of that disease suffocate to death. I thought of what is the point of quitting now after well over 40 years now that the damage has already been done. Then I read Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Blog and got the encouragement I needed to go on. I do breath better without smoking and it sure saves money, its just the statistics I have shown left me with doubt. Doubt should never be a part of my vocabulary knowing full well to  trust in God. So I move on with my quit, knowing fill well it is doable and something I want for myself. Thanks for listening.

Lazy Day

Posted by JustSharon Apr 17, 2017

Image result for binkies GraphicsGood afternoon all. I usually try to get my good mornings in, but I had a bad sleep night last night and ended up on my sofa falling back to sleep until 11 am. Hard to get moving today. My knees and legs are in such pain that I don't think I will do much today but remain smoke free. I guess that work enough for itself! Hope you are all having a great day thus far!

Double Digit Day

Posted by JustSharon Apr 16, 2017

Day 10 today!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blessings

Posted by JustSharon Apr 16, 2017

a little cocky today

Posted by JustSharon Apr 15, 2017

It may even be close to evening for some of you, but it's still late morning/early afternoon for me. No matter what time zone you are in this little blessing is for you.

                                                                                                          Yesterday, @Blog Post created by Happier2 on Apr 14, 2017, posted a graphic that repeated over and over, simple phrases like. "yes I can, today, not tomorrow, today not yesterday, I can do this and on and on. I took that graphic and made it the background on my computer desktop. Now I look at it all the time and get to have it in mind all the time. It's a great tool for my kit and I'm so thankful that @Happier2 posted it.  I'm feeling a little cocky today, like why not just one, you've done so well and then I started to repeat the phrases in that graphic  over and over while sucking on my binky. I'm doing ok. Almost to double digits and I so look forward to that day. I have learned thus far how commitment and determination are very much key in a quit. I have struggled with both but have held my ground. I'm all set in my second week with plenty to do to keep my quit. I'll either be busy or I will be right here at EX. I don't let anything else get in the way. Have a great  smoke free day, I know I will.

Anxiety

Posted by JustSharon Apr 14, 2017

Happy Friday to all of you, especially you workers out there. Something about being retired, each day flows into the next and unless you have an appointment to keep, one day is the same as another. I usually have to look up what day it is! Another DOF for me and I can't say it hasn't been a struggle. With all I've got in my tool kit my mind wanders regardless towards the thought of that smoke. Today I'm going to purchase one of those stress balls and see if that doesn't help for in between rug latching and reading my novel. I'm about tired of chewing straws and sucking on a binky, but they do keep my mouth busy. I have a lot of anxiety so I have to be busy all the time. I'm sleeping very well since a dosage increase in my medications which helps some with my anxiety, but not quite enough during the day. I'm doing my best to stay smoke free every minute, every hour of the day. I made it through hell week and have 8 days of freedom. Pretty proud of that! Thanks for listening to this mornings ramble!

Just another day

Posted by JustSharon Apr 13, 2017

Or maybe that should read just another wonderful day in the life of a quitter! Yesterday I was talking about rug latching. I figured it out easy enough but found the difficulty not in how to do it, but instead doing it...My fingernails were way too long to hold the tiny strands of yarn between my fingers. Today I'm just latching along. I compare this to my quit. I always knew how to do it and educated myself more even though I knew. My problem was in "just doing it" and there were plenty of "long nails" in the way my own emotions mostly. Today I still struggle with emotions as I suppose I will for sometime, but the craves and triggers, well all I've got to say is I've got a darned large tool kit. I have found reading a good book has been my best defense. I can get into a good novel for hours at a time often thinking about a smoke break while I read, but for not one minute giving up the story. Today I'm doing what worked for yesterday because it works for me. Hope you are all trying to enjoy a smoke free day!

Frustration

Posted by JustSharon Apr 12, 2017

I never thought that frustration would be a crave buster! I have this rug latch kit I so want to do and am having trouble remembering how to do it. It's been many years since I did one, in fact it was at that time I was trying to quit smoking. Every time I had a crave I would start latching away and that did the trick. Now, it's frustrating me like crazy and with each frustration, another crave goes away. I've gone to utube to watch videos of people latching, so maybe the next try or two I will get it! In the mean time I guess I will just be a happy quitter!

Getting through

Posted by JustSharon Apr 11, 2017

Another smoke free day! First thing I did this morning was grab a cup of coffee and head outside to enjoy the sunshine, Yes in WA state it does make an appearance from time to time. Anyways I sat there for a few moments romancing the idea of a smoke. I said to myself, "just ACCEPT the fact that you can't and won't smoke anymore. Acceptance is and always has been a part of quitting, but as I have struggled in the past, I am not sure I had truly accepted in the manner that I should, thus creating my many relapses. Those few moments outside with my thoughts, acceptance came like a knock on the head. I guess you could say I sure enjoyed my first cup of coffee this morning. So onto another smoke free day with a whole different emotional out look!

I'm a lot like you were." I can't get that song out of my head today. I started thinking of all of us here at ex, with all of our likenesses and differences. While early in a new quit, I see that we all have come from one place in common and that is NicoHell. We will always be alike that way as we remain our lives with many differences. We need each other in a very special way. I'm glad to be apart of EX and I need you all so much in my life to fight this battle and win it. I have only 4 days WON and onto my fifth....but for me that's a lot of days as I have struggled a bit through one day at a time. I'm good today, I feel content, except for the song stuck in my head, Want to share it with me??https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An2a1_Do_fc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An2a1_Do_fc

Hello Everyone

Posted by JustSharon Apr 9, 2017

It had been a busy morning for me, what time I have had awake so far. The new doses of my bipolar meds sure make me sleep late. That's a good thing because before those new meds and a change in dosages, I was up nearly every night at 1 or 2 am. My mood feels pretty darned good today so far. I'm not smoking so I believe that is something to feel real good about. So I did it, I have day 3 won and am now onto day 4. When I'm good and settled in with my quit, I think I'll quit counting for a while and just enjoy the benefits of being a non smoker. Yesterday I wrote that I am not going to avoid my back porch, an old trigger but doesn't seem to bother me now. I'm not allowing old nicodemon to keep me away from an area I so love. As a centerpiece on my table outdoors is a water bottle loaded with all the cigarettes I drown when I quit. It's so ugly, but necessary and it can stay there as long as I need it to. Any who, I'm just rambling on so I'm going to post this and get reading other blogs. I hope everyone is enjoying a good smoke free day.

Dull and Boring

Posted by JustSharon Apr 8, 2017

 I've reached a point of boredom for the day, so thought I'd take this time to blog a bit. Boredom is such a big trigger. It's not that I don't have things to do, it's that I just don't feel like doing them. The thought to smoke has crossed my mind more than once and that is why I am here now, connecting to my wonderful quit family! Sure, smoking would be something to do, but it's not what this girl wants to do either. It's been raining the better of the day thus far with the sun threatening to come out. I sat outside for a while, (yes where I used to smoke)listening to the rain and looking at my garden hoping it would plant itself. The fish are out in there pond instead of hiding like they have been most the winter. I find solace in my backyard and decided this quit that even though my back porch could be a trigger, I find its not this time because I decided it was too important of a place to be for me and nicodemon is just forbid out there. All resemblance of him hit the garbage 3 days ago. I'm ok with that. Anyways, that's how my day has been going. I'm smoke free and I like that. Hope everyone else is having a good day as well.

       

On to day 3

Posted by JustSharon Apr 8, 2017

Good morning all, well here I am onto another quit day and so happy with myself that I am! I slept all night for the first time in I can't tell you when! Maybe my increase in doses of meds is going to work and then my dr. will be right and I will be wrong...I hate being wrong, but I will humbly accept the truth here.

So anxious to get out into the garden to plant my pots, but the wind and the rain keep me from it. I want sunshine. Ah, don't we all? No big plans here for the weekend. so I will be able to stick real close by. Hoping everyone has a great smoke free day. I am determined to do just that!

I'm ok!

Posted by JustSharon Apr 7, 2017

We can consider this a bad day, but it remains a WON day! Thank you all for the encouragement, it means more than you can possibly know!

 

Back from the DR.

Posted by JustSharon Apr 7, 2017

Well, she wouldn't put me back on my old meds that worked because when I had gone in for surgery, I guess kidney tests weren't normal. OK, I can accept that, but I was very very sick then any thing could be off. She was not taking any chances. So all I got was higher doses of medications that aren't working after already having one dosage increase. So I came out of their pissed, and I'm still irate and I want a smoke! I hate feeling this way, its just not me.

Day 2

Posted by JustSharon Apr 7, 2017

Here I am on day two. Day Won went so quickly and I did very well. Hoping for the same today. Today is my DR. appointment to adjust my bipolar meds. I've been doing real good the past couple of days, but when depression hits, days are very difficult. I want to keep my quit, but I worry for those bad days, so an adjustment in meds is much needed.

I am so thankful to be among the ex's again, thank all those faithful out there for your daily blogs full of wisdom and encouragement. I'll keep right on reading! Have a great smoke free day. I sure do intend to.

Saying Goodnight

Posted by JustSharon Apr 6, 2017

Settling in to watcha movie. I do believe I've WON this day. Have a good night all!

Thank you

Posted by JustSharon Apr 6, 2017

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, I love you guys! So far my day has been fantastic. I've been pampered all day so far. I've had too tough craves and on those I snapped the rubber band on my wrist and the pain of doing that sure changed my way of thinking. Damned that hurt! Other than that I have sucked on binkie a few times. I'm doing ok. I'm happy to be free today! I'll check in again before bedtime. Hugs to you all!

ReBirthday

Posted by JustSharon Apr 6, 2017

Good Morning my dear friends and EX'rs! It's the 6th of April and I haven't had a smoke since 11 last night. I took almost a whole pack, put them in a water bottle and shook up the ugly mess real good. That was a fantastic moment. I said a prayer after that and went to bed. I did my usual, woke in the night for a smoke and it dawned on me I'm not smoking anymore, so I went back to bed and slept in till almost 8! I've often suspected that smoking kept me up at night, sitting on the back porch alone, in the quiet, chain smoking away. What a revelation and what a relief to get some sleep.

                            So happy to be here this morning as a non smoker. When I had relapsed, although I was still reading and learning new strategies that would work for me, I felt somewhat detached from my family here as I continued to smoke. So, I call this my Re-Birthday and I chose this memorable day because it truly is my birthday . I've tuned 62, yikes! where does the time go. 40 plus years of smoking, all up in smoke.

                             I'M READY, LET'S DO THIS!

Checking In

Posted by JustSharon Apr 5, 2017

Good morning everyone, It's the day before my quit and I thought I'd check in. Been real busy at my home the last 2 days, so I haven't even had a whole lot of time to read. I have continued to journal though. Through journaling, I learned so much about me and why staying quit had been so hard for me. Addiction aside, I have made my life around cigarettes. Every thing I do or think, involves one. That was my routine, my life and easier to stay in than to change. I'm now ready and committed to that change. Tomorrow is my quit date. Over the last couple of weeks I have done  all my prep work. Reading, noting, journaling, practicing, prepared my tool kit, reducing and getting my mind ready for a strong commitment. I will see you all tomorrow when I join the ranks of being an EXer. I have truly missed being one!

Getting Prepared

Posted by JustSharon Apr 2, 2017

I've been awake since 1:30 am reading and writing in my journal key notes to be ready for my upcoming quit on the 6th. I've got all my things together, straws, rubber bands, hard candies, etc.

Oh and my favorite, my binkie. Yes, I have pulled it out and cleaned it off. Sure keeps my mouth busy. I'm bored with crochet, so I've pulled out some cross stitch kits I'd hidden away. I'm going to work on those. I'm pretty sure I have all my ducks in a row. I'm open to any other suggestions if I'm missing something.

Feed Back

Posted by JustSharon Apr 1, 2017

I have a bit of a pet peeve or even a grievance with the site. I notice all the time that when someone has posted that there are so many views listed and so many comments. When one gets say 75 views and 3 responses, are we here to help one another or not?