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2019
JACKIE1-25-15

...because I smoked

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Jul 30, 2019

Yes, I can run marathons, obstacle courses, 5K's, fitness competitions but I still smoked.  Out of 7 kids, I was the only one that was a long term smoker.  Now as we age I wonder, will I be the first to go...because I smoked?   No, they do not run marathons, nor watched their diets, but they did not smoke.  I did.   I sit and ponder why did I do that to myself?

I have a few clues. I can almost cry at the thought of so much wasted... because I smoked.  Now, I wonder, what does the future hold for me ... because I smoked? 

I have not been diagnosed with any smoking-related diseases, but will that day come?  Should I not be concerned?  Life is good and I have crossed the line of addiction with a firm commitment to never turn back  Was it too late?  Will I still have to suffer the consequences....because I smoked?  These thoughts crossed my mind. Will I have to pay more of a price? 

My answer for today:   I can not see in the future.  I  can only live today to the fullest knowing that the use of the drug is behind me. I am blessed to breathe very efficiently and move well for a woman of my age group.  Thank God. So many are not as fortunate. No matter how long I live, I have conquered the use of the drug nicotine for the rest of my life. I am free and the journey continues for I am firmly committed that I will forever protect my quit no matter what and never turn back ever again. Amen.  Some say you can't say that because you do not know.  I can, because I know that I know that I know! 

 If you are questioning whether you should quit or whether you can do this and have a forever quit.  The answer is yes. If you have become a serial quitter, you don't have to be.  Make a firm commitment to NOPE.  NOPE no matter what can set you free.   It is a choice to cross the line from addiction to a new life of freedom. One step at a time in the right direction to freedoms journey.  It is never too late.  Start today to truly live without smoking.  With the help and support of the EX community, you can Have a new life and end the vicious cycle of addiction.   1646DOF  I know!  You can do it too. 

If you are new here, Welcome.  You have come to the right place for support to quit smoking.  As addicts, we are often in denial when we are faced with the truth that we are addicts. Addictive behavior whether, using heroin, cocaine, meth, nicotine or any choice drug comes a specific way of thinking that enables the addict to continue using substances despite the serious consequences.  I can remember many times being drawn by the addiction to mindlessly drive in the middle of the night to buy smokes. I wondered why I could not make myself turn around and not buy those smokes. For some reason, I could not stop myself. The reason why....addiction, the impulsive gratification.  Like any other drug, I had to get my "fix".  As I look back, was I really putting in the effort?  Today I can honestly answer that quickly....No. 

 

I had "hope" but did not put in the "work" required.

 When I came to this site things changed. I learned of the law of addiction and treated my drug choice nicotine as such.   "The Law" was/is vital in my recovery and a better understanding of overcoming the desire to drive mindlessly in the middle of the night, or walk-in deep snow, scrounge my pockets and car seats for change just to get a "fix.  I am thankful for the knowledge.  It is true....knowledge is power    Quoting Thomas3.20.2010

For those who do not know,   The law of addiction states that administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of the dependence on that substance.  Until I was willing to never take another puff NO MATTER what was happening in my life I would continue on the vicious cycle of not being able to turn around. The only way around this law of addiction is NOPE. No matter what.   That will keep you on the journey to freedom.   Stop convicting yourself by going back to smoking.  With a support system, quitting is doable.   NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!  NOPE A wise elder once said, just don't smoke. Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

 

I made a commitment never to ever touch one, or put to my lips, not in my hand, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my throat.  I will not choke. 

We all know that smoking is deadly.  Make a commitment today that NO MATTER WHAT, you will not smoke and stop playing roulette with your life.   You have to go through to get to freedom.  It is not easy but doable.