For the last 48 hours, the act of smoking has crossed my mind at least two or three times. Even though it is a smidgeon of thought, do I shrug it off and say oh well? Don't know where that came from and keep it moving? Yes, I do BUT I also know that it is time for me to go into protect quit mode, real quick. I guess a smidgeon is huge for me because I rarely think about a stinking cigarette or even desire for one. Breathe. Don't know where the thought came from. Right out of the blue. Wow, I heard it could happen and it has. lol. Not stressed about anything. hmmm? Maybe a few anxious moments Sunday, our church is going through a major change but nothing extraordinary. Change of seasons? hmm?. Been through 3 plus season changes. Hmm? Not absolutely sure. But I am sure of one thing, Just because the thought of smoking crosses my mind does not mean I have to act on it. It has been more than 4 years since my quit date. I know how to suck it up and keep it going and not be fooled by my addiction. NOPE and I am in protect quit mode right now. Period. That is why I am here talking about it. What do my EX friends have to say?
No, I am not going to smoke. No, I am not going to the store to buy any. NOPE no matter what! I am just doing what I have always done. Come to EX first. I will never quit on my quit. I will never ever forget NEF where I started and what it has taken me to get where I am. All my energy, all my inner strength, all my prayers, loss of sleep, all the pain of thinking about a cigarette. Wondering when it would end and what it took to be free. No! I will never give it up or give in no matter what, by any means necessary. Therefore I am not blowing it off and think that I am above the law. NOPE. Yes, I have kicked the demon to the curb and run right over it several times. I am not looking back but will continue to stomp on its head if I have to.
Mantra time! No matter what, who, when, where, how. I will not put one in my hand. Not on my lips, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, Not in my clothes, not up to my nose. Not in my throat, I will not choke. Breathe. NOPE no matter what has kept me free and will keep me free. Suprised I have to deal with this today. However, by any means necessary, I will not smoke. I am being reminded that no matter where I am with my quit I am not above the law of addiction. I could relapse if I did not use my tools. Wow smh.