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"It" Continues @979

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Sep 30, 2017

It....What is IT?   Some call it a journey, a process, learning/relearning behavior, a goal or just your "quit". 

Today was an opportunity to remind myself that a cigarette will not /can not replace an emotion or fill a void. 

This morning as I was leaving to attend my sister inlaws funeral.  I started thinking ahead of myself, what I could do to make myself feel better when this day was over.  A vision of me, in the dark, curled in a fetal position, with a drink and a cigarette in my hand entered my mind.  Can you imagine 979 days free and that addictive brain, checked in when it thought I was vulnerable.  Knowing that I could not continue in this type of thought process I had to allow my nonsmoking brain to take control.  My nonsmoking brain immediately told me that a cigarette can not heal sorrow, that I had to think, act and be a nonsmoker because I am.   My nonsmoking brain reminded me that a smoke would only give me immediate, temporary pleasure and I would still have to deal with the sorrow.   Today @ 979 days  journey it became more profound to me as a nonsmoker that time will heal my sorrow, to shed the tears and be happy for the memories of my love one. 


There will be times on this journey, process, goal or quit that we have to choose how we think.


I still won't complain

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Sep 22, 2017

I wrote this blog when I was 160 days into my quit.  July 4, 2015 . Because of the title it was part of my today's reflection.  With all the calamities and tragedies that are happening in our universe I can’t complain.  Someone is worse off than me.  In Mexico somebody's children did not come home from school.  Oh, how that breaks my heart.  How can I complain?  Mine are safe and death toll keeps rising.  Hurricanes have caused many to have loss a home, a family member, a pet, cherished memoirs.  How can I complain?


When someone asks me how am I doing?  My automatic response  is "I won't complain".  Their response usually is "who"s listening anyway?  First but foremost I do not have a  lot to complain about.  At 65 years young I am very healthy.  After smoking over half of my life I am truly blessed as of yet not to have any life threatening complications from it.  Like my 93 yr old daddy, still kicking butt and taking names, who is presently residing with me.  I can not complain about anything that he does.  I am learning not to sweat the small stuff.   I am thankful that I can help take care of him.  He is still very independent. So you can not  imagine how things go or don't go sometimes, but I won't complain. 


Every day I am thankful to wake up with birds singing, wind chimes blowing and no alarm clock.  I am retired and blessed not to be concerned about finances.  Not rich but I won't complain, even when my bank account gets low. 


 After so many years of  smoking I have finally quit.  Which is one of my greater accomplishments.  "I definitely won't complain about that'".   It has been a long time coming.   I am very thankful that it has arrived.  160 DOF I will not turn back.   The journey has not always been easy but it gets better.  For me, starting was the hardest step.  There are good days when I don't think about a cigarette and days I recognize that I am an nicotine addict and have to work my quit.   I have been tired a few times but I am not going to give in. NOPE.  I am in this to win so I won't complain.   My dad recognizes it, he says "I hear you got your singing voice back". He is hard of hearing.  lol


Today is July the 4th nothing special going on right now, maybe some fireworks later. Have a safe smoke free day.  Know your triggers and be prepared.  If you can't drink without smoking, don't drink.  If you have to smoke if you are around smokers, don't be.  Make your quit as simple as possible. These two things may help you get through the weekend smokefree.  Remember you are not losing anything when you don;t smoke.


I still have so much more to be grateful for 970 DOF .  Amazing.  I can’t complain.  Think about it someone else is worse off than me.  So I won’t complain.  I love life and try to live it to the fullest.  So I won’t complain.  I am going to be okay.  I am free from the chains of nicotine.  I will try not to complain about a thing.