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Real Talk

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Jul 30, 2016

Anyone who knows me understands that I am pretty much a bottom line person.  I strive to say what I mean and mean what I say, while still trying to say the right thing.   Sometimes I have to use duct tape on my lips. These last few weeks I have refrained from saying some things so not to appear as being harsh.  Today my philosophy is if the shoe fits wear it. lol  I may get thrown off the site but here goes.

The main thing I want to say is actions speak louder than words.  You can go on and on with excuses to keep smoking and slipping or say a lot of things about what you are going to do.  Until you do quit it is only words, no action. 

When I first came to this site there were blogs about taking ownership of your quit, putting grown pants or panties on, growing up and putting aside childish, selfish behavior that accompanies smokers.   Some tough love was used and spread along the way.  Looking back I always thought tough love was for kids so my advice today is to grow up.  I get a little unraveled when someone tries to patronize me and say things they think I want to hear.  I may not have been  here as long as others but I have gained a sense when someone is “tickling my ears”.   Until you put your quit in action “talking” has a tendency to create deaf ears.  It’s like crying wolf.  It seems there are instances no matter what advice is given, what you want overrides it.  Then you QUIT on your QUIT. Give up, throw in the towel and say you can't.  When I was growing up the word " can't" was not allowed in my vocabulary.

Another thing, this isn’t a social media site this is a quit smoking support website.   Sure we discuss a lot of other topics but the bottom line is support for quitting smoking.   If you are here just to have a story or a byline due to boredom or need of attention you are wasting your time because if you are not serious about your quit nothing we say is going to help.  There are some here we have to hold their hands a little longer or tighter.  Some we have to talk to a little longer or harder.  Some we have to go to behind the scenes to lift them up.   So you may be taking away time from someone who is serious, wants, needs and uses the support and advice.   When advice is given, we hope you utilize it  and when you don’t it is disappointing.

So my advice to you today is grown up talk,  not tough love. 

Do your homework.  “ Education is the key to a successful quit.

Listen to the Elders,they are here to help.  

Don’t’ give up and don’t give in, no matter what don’t light up.

Get back in the game.

Stop thinking and talking but start doing. 

Stop saying can’t and say can. 

Believe that you can and do it one day at a time.

If you are serious I  will be here for you.


Good Morning Exers

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Jul 26, 2016

Thank you all for your comments, kudos and admiration for the poem I wrote yesterday.  I just want you to know it is okay to use it to communicate to your friends that you have not heard from in a while or those you know have relapsed. The poem was inspired when I was reading some of my old blogs and saw names that I had not seen in a while.  Terrie used it last night  and we got a response.  It was good to hear from an old friend.  Have a smoke free day and God Bless you all. Here is the link to copy and send.  We are in this together.



Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Jul 24, 2016

Yes, just like many of you I have tried quitting before and failed.  I often wondered why I couldn’t if others could.    God bless the reasoning but as I recall not one reason included me.  Sure, I got rid of the ashtrays and anything that reminded you of smoking.  No longer smoked in my car and all sorts of stuff. As I look back some was a little nonsense.  Books, products, hypnosis, societies and other web sites etc, just to name a few.   Anyway, I was advised by a smoking cessation program at my job to register at EX.  I did and that was it. Almost 2yrs had passed and I received an email from EX.  I guess I had been getting them all the time but was deleting them.  Never had a clue that there was a site like EX available with real people who had successful quits to help me.   I was so tired of smoking and made a vow to myself that if I ever quit again I would never ever go through another day one.  NEF

After 546 Days Free I can answer why I failed at quitting while others had success:   

Until I finally realized the importance of the knowledge of nicotine addiction, what’s in a cigarette, etc. my thinking would not have changed about having the “need” to smoke.

Until I learned, studied, practiced self-talk, and relearned my thinking I would still be stuck. 

Until I accepted the fact that I was not losing anything I may fail.

Until I was willing to let it go I would stay on the course of a vicious slow death.

Until I made up in my mind that I was not going to smoke and was totally committed I would fail. 

Until I gave it my all and pledged to myself that no matter what, I would literally not put a cigarette in my hand, not on my lips, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my throat, I will not choke, not up my nose, not in my clothes;  BTW that became one of my theme songs and mantras and I became a nonsmoker. 

Until I gave it my all and learned HALT, NOPE NEF SINAO and had a support group and friends like the EX community I would fail.  

Until I committed daily to study and read the blogs and listen to the advice of the Elders I would fail. 

Until I learned that my quit was the most important thing in my life I failed.   

Until I did it for me and believed that I was a non-smoker I would never become one.  

Until I gave it every part of my inner being through God’s strength, determination, education, perseverance, honesty, forgiveness, soul searching, praying, making friends, singing, crying, laughing, screaming I would fail. 

Until I meant by any means necessary I will not smoke, no matter what I would fail. 

Each day I get stronger and the practice of smoking is no longer a part of who I am.  I am better, healthier, wiser, and happier and I keep getting better.  There are up and downs in this quit smoking business.  Thank God my ups were/are greater than my downs and I am free because I know deep down inside of me that I gave it my all and I will continue to protect my quit.  At 546 days I don’t have to work as hard.   Will you give it your all?  



Guard your quit.

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Jul 3, 2016

4th of July weekend.  I seem to be in a hurry. Why?  No need to be.  Nothing major going on other than church, grandkids, dad, preparing dinner. Something is poking at me.  It’s in my head. Just a minor thought of smoking along with the thought of the drag. Seasonal?  ADDICTION!!!

Pull out Quit tools quick.SINAO  Came here to blog very quickly to protect my quit.  NOPE

 I am not going to smoke No matter what. Just a flicker so be gone.  “ I don’t do that anymore.” Breathe. get some Water Breathe.   525 days I am a nonsmoker. Protect my quit, slow it down a notch, breath. Hope no one loses their quit this weekend.  Be on guard. EVERYBODY old and new. Be vigilant. I won't quit on my quit.