I like the number so for me it is the right time to blog. Yes, 411 days smoke free and with this day comes a feeling of pride, along with an awareness that there have been times that the “what if “questions have come to my mind.
My first what if: “What if” I never came to the EXcommunity? Secondly, what if I did not read the suggested literature and resources that were offered? What would have happened if I ran away because my addictive brain did not like what it was being told? What if this site was just another social media experience? What if I did not make a commitment to never ever put another cigarette in my hand, on my lips, on my tongue, in my lungs, in my throat, because this is my forever quit. What if I did not make this site a regular place for me to be with my morning coffee, lunch or dinner? What if I did not allow EX to become my new addiction? It has been a good one. I have grown in so many other areas of my life, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and financially. What if I did not allow myself to become vulnerable to blog, make new friends and gain the support of the elders? What if I asked for advice and did not take it? What if I did not learn all the mantras. (HALT, NOPE, NEF, Not to quit on my quit. Life is grand without a cigarette in hand. I don’t do that anymore. SINOA). I didn’t know what a mantra was until I got here.
What if I did not take my quit seriously that no matter how HALT hungry, angry, lonely or tired I would not smoke? What if I was not willing to go through “whatever means necessary” to be smoke free. This is bigger and beyond what I could have ever imagined or dreamed being smoke free. I have to say, Hallelujah! The highest praise. I am living it and each day gets better being smoke free.
What if I never opened my mind up to really relearn my “stinkin thinkin”. What if I continued to use the excuse that I did not want to gain weight or continued to tell myself that this is too hard? What if I allowed my addictive brain to stay in control of MY LIFE. Thank God, I did not allow my addiction to be more powerful than myself. Sometimes this journey is not always easy but it is worth it and “doable”. The main thing is you won’t die from quitting smoking. You will die if you don’t. I think my final big what if! What if I had decided to give up? I would not be saying YAY I got the 411. Thank God I don’t have to ask or worry about “what if's”?
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