I recognized that whenever I got angry. I use to smoke. Today I got so angry that I was almost in tears and could have smoked. I haven't cried in a long time my feelings were so hurt. I was almost in tears. Call me the drama queen if you want to. Working hard to make better accommodations for my dad. Oh, I can't call him dad anymore says it makes him feel uncomfortable. Anyway I told him I would call him by his last name.
No matter what you do something is going to be wrong. I guess I was waiting for it and I lashed out. I think it has always been this way and I told him so. It seems to really be more because we are in the same house. What did I do? I moved some of his papers. Lo and behold the world is going to end. They were all over the floor and I had to vacumn. Now he has to get them all organized again. We got into it. Says he has to get out of here. I told him fine. Anyway I didn't smoke but I could have. I am sure I would have regrets if I did. I am glad that I didn't. I could have used it for an excuse.
Now it is from tears to laughter. Oh well I must be going crazy. I am leaving and I may not come back. I am turning out all the lights. I am locking him up and throwing away the key. Help. I didnt smoke. I could have but I didn't. I will be glad when I learn how to handle my emotions. Yuck this sucks.
