Ever have one of those days that you could blow steam. Well my father has a tendency to pull my chain and today I allowed him to do it again. In fact he started smiling the moment he saw I was upset. In April 2014 I blew a quit after having a heated disagreement with him. I made up in my mind that I would never ever let that happen again. Well today it was one of those days. ' Mind you I have been trying everything possible to accomodate him to take care of his personal hygiene e.i. shower grips, chairs. occupational therapist. You name I have done it. But he keeps making excuses not to bathe. Today, I let him know everything I was thinking about him not wanting to bathe or shower or shave or get a haircut. Yes TMI. I was not nice. Yes I blew steam, yes I got mad all because he made a shady remark because I would not let him put his dirty, hand in the cracker jar. I will be glad when I learn to handle my emotions and not start screaming and hollering. I had to go outside and sit on the porch because I was so angry and almost in tears. While sitting there I recognized that this would have been a time that I would have smoked. I would have puffed hard. It wasn't an urge or crave just an association. ANGRY part of HALT I wasn't concerned whether I would smoke or not because bottom line is I just don't do that anymore. I have calmed down but disappointed that I let him control my emotions. But anyway, guard your quit don't allow anger to rob you of your quit. They are precious. No matter what smoking is never an option. NOPE Whew
