I am so happy that I do not have to smoke. I really feel good about myself. My confidence is overwhelming. Nothing will cause me to pick that cigarette up. That is a good feeling. Are you happy? If you are happy say yes or Amen 186 DOF
It has been awhile since I have written a blog I usally don't write until something hits me. There were times that the desire to smoke came upon me. For the last week or so i have been dealing with what I call life issues, which we all have to face from time to time. Life does not stop even when we quit.
Smoking is no longer an option. When I tore a muscle in my hip 1 1/2 weeks ago and had to deal with excruciating pain. In order to feel better smoking was not an option. SWNAO My non smoking brain knew that smoking would and could not fix it. But the addiction wanted me to. Imagine how many times I would light a cigarette as if it could heal something.
Due to my mishap I was not able to check on my dad in rehab. Could not get anyone to go in for me. Tears fell but smoking was not the option.
On Monday the hottest day this summer my AC failed. SWNAO. All I could do was open the windows, pull out the electrical fans and enjoy my freeze pops.
When I found out it will cost over $5,000 to replace my AC system. SWNAO All I could do was pull out the check book. OUCH! SWNAO.
Now it is Friday morning, waking up from little sleep, with pain in my hip SINAO, AC Tech at the door, coffee brewing SINAO
It has been 6 months since I quit smoking. No I do not have urges all the time and there are days that I don't even think about smoking. Even at 6 months there are times like those mentioned that my addiction tries to give me reason, desires to smoke. I am thankful that I still have the choice to smoke or not to smoke. I realize not smoking is much better for me. I have come to far to turn around. I have made it through 180 days. Again today I pledge today not to smoke. 6% here I come! NOPE Not in my hands, not on my lips, not in my mouth, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my nose, not in my clothes. NOPEThank God for FREEDOM
Today since it is HOT I am using FREEZE POPS! yay. Taste so good low in calories and last longer than a cigarette. Darn, I could write a commercial. Going to get one right now to cool me down and bust a crave at the same time.
Please take a moment and let me know what some of yours are. I may have to use them later. Who ya gonna call.... Crave Busters. lol
Sorry for the suspense folks. Just trying to hold a thought. This is how the story goes... Hope I have it in correct order. I have a friend that is a smoker. When I first quit I avoided anyone that smoked.as much as possible Yes, I have seen them before and they have smoked but I have asked them to put away their cigarettes when they visit my home. .Recently he moved in to an new apartment and I have been helping him to get settled. Yesterday the request was to help with seasoning/prepping a chicken. So I went over and as time progressed he pulled out a cigarette. As he did I got up and he says, Oh I forgot that you quit smoking. I said don't worry, I know how to step away. So I took it upon myself to go outside downstairs. So in the next two or three minutes he comes outside where I am and stands beside me smoking,blowing the smoke in my direction or the smoke was coming that way. I don't know. So he says you have quit for awhile,that his smoking should not bother me. I told him that was ludricrus (sp) So I stepped to the other side of him so the smoke would not be blowing my way. So I am explaining to him that I have to protect my quit. We went back and forth about addiction. Of course not being in agreement. Suddenly somehow I don't know if I bumped into him or what The next thing I know I am getting burnt with the cigarette butt, He says oh I am sorry, that is going to leave a mark. Yes it hurt. I left carressing the burn. Omen, I said to myself that this was a sign not to be around him because he does not care about me. So I sent him a message that until I am stronger that I would not be around him. I have not gotten any response. Sometimes you have to let people places and things go. I am done I think he wanted to borrow some money anyway. I am glad I no longer accept whatever comes along. Always giving and not recieiving. Maybe I should be glad it happened. I am still proud of myself that I did not become angry. I see I have really changed. Smoking did not help me with anger management. . I smoked over 40 years and never burned myself. I now have a cute blister on my arm. Shucks!!!! You all have a great day. I am going to try and get some fishing in.
The last 24 hrs have been an eye opener for me from a nonsmoker's view. Yesterday I spent over 8 hrs in the emergency room with my dad. Here are a few things I recognized.
The hospital is a total smokefree zone. If you step outside there is only cell phone activity. I did see one guy eating popcorn (funny) He must have wanted to smoke.
All nurses do not have good bedside manners, some do. I asked for an extra blanket for my day, got flack from a bully nurse. As a smoker I probably would have given him the riot "ACT" but as a nonsmoker, I just solved the issue.
The vending machines take your money and the food is unhealthy. (Lunch and dinner) 1 candy bar, two sodas, 2 bags of chips, 1 pack of crackers. Previously, I would have just smoked to suffice.
You can smell smokers, Whew, near or far. I thought you could cover it up.
An ailing parent would be a good or just an excuse to smoke. My addictive brain was telling me how good it would be. The sensation of smoking was alive and I knew how it would make me feel>>>>Nicotine straight to the brain.
Automatically, skillfully I pulled out one of my tools. SELF TALK. ""Self, you don't do that anymore. Self, you don't want to breathe that smoke. Self, if you take that one puff it is all over. Self, you are tired, hungry, anxious, address those issues and you will be okay" The desire subsided and I felt , I am a conqueror.
Then, again on my ride home the thoughts of a hot cup of WAWA coffee and that "pack" surfaced. Addictive brain said "you can smoke just one and throw the remainder away". Tired, but still pulled the tool back out. Self Talk....You don't do that anymore. You don't even smoke in your car so why are you thinking about smoking. My non smoking brain said "get some rest". Make today a smoke free day. Tomorrow may never come. I put my tool up and went to sleep. So today is a new day.
The main point, when we are hungry. tired, angry we associate with the cigarette. This site taught me to HALT. Thank God for this site and the tools to use when necessary.
I wrote this blog when I was 160 days into my quit. Because of the title it was part of my today's reflection. With all the calamities of hurricanes and earthquakes that are happening in our universe I can’t complain. Someone is worse off than me. In Mexico somebody's children did not come home from school. Oh, how that breaks my heart. How can I complain? Mine are safe. The death toll keeps rising. So many have loss a home, a family member, a pet, cherished memoirs. How can I complain?
When someone asks me how am I doing? My automatic response is "I won't complain". Their response usually is "who"s listening anyway?. First but foremost I do not have a lot to complain about. At 65 years young I am very healthy. After smoking over half of my life I am truly blessed as of yet not to have any life threatening complications from it. Like my 93 yr old daddy, still kicking butt and taking names, who is presently residing with me. I can not complain about anything that he does. I am learning not to sweat the small stuff. I am thankful that I can help take care of him. He is still very independent. So you can not imagine how things go or don't go sometimes, but I won't complain.
Every day I am thankful to wake up with birds singing, wind chimes blowing and no alarm clock. I am retired and blessed not to be concerned about finances. Not rich but I won't complain, even when my bank account gets low.
After so many years of smoking I have finally quit. Which is one of my greater accomplishments. "I definitely won't complain about that'". It has been a long time coming. I am very thankful that it has arrived. 160 DOF I will not turn back. The journey has not always been easy but it gets better. For me, starting was the hardest step. There are good days when I don't think about a cigarette and days I recognize that I am an nicotine addict and have to work my quit. I have been tired a few times but I am not going to give in. NOPE. I am in this to win so I won't complain. My dad recognizes it, he says "I hear you got your singing voice back". He is hard of hearing. lol
Today is July the 4th nothing special going on right now, maybe some fireworks later. Have a safe smoke free day. Know your triggers and be prepared. If you can't drink without smoking, don't drink. If you have to smoke if you are around smokers, don't be. Make your quit as simple as possible. These two things may help you get through the weekend smokefree. Remember you are not losing anything when you don;t smoke.
I still have so much more to be grateful for 970 DOF Amazing. I can’t complain. Think about it someone else is worse off than me. So I won’t complain. I love life and try to live it to the fullest. So I won’t complain. I am going to be okay. I am free from the chains of nicotine. I will try not to complain about a thing.