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2015

The thoughts of smoking is what I have to deal with.  I am not craving a cigarette, can't imagine myself being able to drag on one. Is that idolization?  I do not want one, but the thought comes to my mind sometimes for seconds.  I may be being hard on myself.  The thoughts are not as often since I first quit but gosh they are still there. I wish they would go away.  It may be association?  I am not sure, but I am going to be okay. I just don't want to dwell on it.  Got to keep it moving.  I am a non smoker.  Time.  I will make it through  l  am looking at TDC in 5 days. I got this. I don't do that anymore.  Onward forward on guard HALT, NOPE.  Have a good day.  Thanks for listening.   Peace all my friends and Exers and soon to be Exers.  Breathe Just Breathe, Water Water
 

My head is spinning, so many new people I wish all the best.

JACKIE1-25-15

Keep it Movin day 94

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 29, 2015

Today I told my addiction to keep it moving leave me alone!  I am not going to smoke, so stop wasting my time testing me, telling me that I want a cigarette. Oh, No I do not want a cigarette!  Get to movin', not on my lips, not in my hands, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my nose, not in my clothes. No not one.  I am a non smoker.  Addiction you better get it clear. I am done.NOPE not one puff ever.  I will not be fooled. Been there, done that, not doing it ever again.  Be Gone, Keep it Movin' I am going to Have a nice smoke free day you do the same.  Got to keep it movin'.

JACKIE1-25-15

Day 92

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 27, 2015

Okay I should be jumping for joy, but I already know this is one of those days that I have to be on point.  Don't know why but I just do.  I have had  a few split seconds of thinking about smoking 3 times this morning already.  They are not very strong, very slight and very brief urges but they are there.  I have to put on the armour so to speak. So I wont dwell on it.  So I am here reading.  Going to get busy after writing this blog.

. My garden is already planted and I will not be arranging furniture again.  I  am going to try and work on extending my patio.  I still have some pavers to put down.  On Mondays it is usually the two L's, laundry and mow the lawn.  Not sure if my back can take any of  it because I did the 5K Saturday and I am still recouperating.  lol.  Anyway I already know I am not going to smoke but it is an issue this morning for some reason or other.   I am just sick of this lttle nag that comes every now and then to let me know that I use to smoke. BE GONE!  I know I will be okay, just something I have to deal with. Just wish it wasn't today or any day but it is, I smoked a long time and 92 days is baby steps.  Just blogging to get the thought out and that has helped.  I will chat later.  I am a non smoker.  NOPE have a smoke free day I am.  Thanks for listening.

These are some of the ingredients that I used in order to be at my 86th day of non smoking. (who's counting?) lol

1500 lbs of Committment, (can not get there without it )

1000lbs of  Preserverence, ( do or die attitude)

90 lbs  Longsuffering,

1000 lbs of Willingness,

1 million Prayers,

1000lbs of Sacrifice, Self talk, unlimited belief, resolve, determination, focus, learning to care  about myself, forgiveness,(had to forgive myself for smoking for so long)

most important ingredients: Support, (thanks gang) education, faith, trust, reprogramming, relearning, tears,(moslty because it took so long  

endless Laughs, (I had to laugh at myself and my addiction) 

a whole lot of Confidence.   Some say not to be too confident but I had to do it my way,

Positive thinking. honesty, endurance

Telling my brain no but most of all never giving in to that one not one puff ever. (NOPE)

 How are you creating your smoke free life?

P.S.  I have been telling myself since day one I am a non smoker. Day 83 Lightbulb!  I am.  Made me smile because that was a moment I knew it wasn't just saying it.. No doubts I knew it , I had to smile.  Have a smokefree life I am.

 I have read several blogs that state quitting is not easy.  That may be true. If you think about it,  it is much easier to smoke than to quit. The initial quitting phase is easier than staying quit. Staying quit is what takes the work.  A quote from the "Elders" "It's what's between the ears my friend."  So as a man thinketh so is he.  So if you think it is hard then it is. ?Questions?  ..... Is it easier to live with a breathing disorder than to quit?  Is it easier to have heart complications than to quit? Is it easier to have fear of cancer than to quit? Is it easier to hide your cigarettes, stay in denial and live a lie or quit?  Is it easier to spend most of your time and money in the dr's office or quit.  Is it easier to start a healthier lifestyle or smoke. Is it easier to be controlled by a substance than to quit? Is it easier to live in an illusion or reality. Choices.  I chose FREEDOM.  Now that is easy.

JACKIE1-25-15

Reality Check

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 17, 2015

Today I realized how powerful the drug nicotine had been in control of my brain. Now 82 days smoke free and worth every second of this journey to freedom and still learning.  I stayed busy all day rearranging, organizing and improving my living space.  How many times can i rearrange my furniture?  OCD!!!!  Obsessive Complusive Disorder  lmho Oh well at least it is getting better each time.  I am very tired right now.  

To all: have a good night. 

For those that did not make it through today smoke free, my prayers go up for you to not give up, reevaluate the reasons why. 
Today I kept seeing the image of my grandson when I told him I had quit. I never want to hide smoking again. I promised myself when he was born I would quit.  He is sixteen years old now.  I am keeping this promise to me and to him.   Quitting is easy, staying quit sometimes takes work.  Today was one of those times. I do mean work.  Thank God I made it through another day smokefree .  One day at a time sweet Jesus. Thank you.  I am a non smoker.   Amen Goodnight. 10:20pm EST

JACKIE1-25-15

One of those days.

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 17, 2015

  This one of those days when I wake up theres a lot going on and in many directions,  I can not forget to work my quit.  Have a good day smoke free I am a non smoker.  Not in my hand, not on my lips, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my throat, not in my nose, not in my clothes.  No problem...I am more than a conqueror. 

JACKIE1-25-15

80 days

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 15, 2015

Last night I was reading some of my old blogs so not to forget where I started.  I think we can become detached to all the feelings we went through in the very beginning.  Today I feel pretty good.  80 days I have saved $240.00  and have not smoked at least 800 cigarettes. The numbers are okay but not my main focus.  It is about my health, life and the quality of living.  You can not put a number on that.  The fact is that I have quit for all the times I said I would and didn't.  Thank God I have arrived.

 I am still training for my 5K on April 25th.  These last few days I have been working in the yard, enjoying the smell of flowers and fresh cut grass,    This is where and when I smoked before, between and after a task.. The association is still there but I know that I am not going to smoke so I focus more on what I am doing. Everything is looking good so far,  It feels good to be outdoors to really breathe and not smoke. .  I will be planting my garden this week.  I can hardly wait. This is my fun time of the year.  You all have a great smoke free day.  I am a non smoker.  I am FREE Thanks Ex team for all of your help.  See youi later, off to get more mulch.

JACKIE1-25-15

Thank God

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 14, 2015

"I don't do that anymore." 

JACKIE1-25-15

Road Trip day 77

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 12, 2015

Today I am driving my first road trip as a non smoker.  I never smoked in my vehicles so I usually had to stop within 2-3 hours to smoke.  So I am off for a fun road trip, no smoking. Chewing gum -check, water- check, CD's check...off I go. Maybe I will get there soonerl  Makes me smile.  Have a smoke free day. I am  a  non smoker.  NOPE. Peace out.  See you we I get back. Yeah!

To all the Exers out there:  Isnt it great to wake up in the morning and a cigarette is not the first thing on your mind. Yay!!!!! Isn't it great to know that another day has arrived and you are smoke free. (Drum Roll)  Isn't it great that you do not have to focus on whether you have enough cigarettes. Whoo HOO!  Isn't it great that you can breathe better, think better, food taste better, exercise better sing better, laugh better. !!!!!!!!!!!! No hacking cough everytime you laugh!  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing!  There are so many betters.  The best part is that we are able to see another day without nicotine. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Tell me your something great!  Have a smoke free day I am.

That is 740 cigarettes not smoked; looks good and  $222.00 Saved looks even better.  Feels the best.  Through this journey I have had concerns about situations that would set off triggers.  Family members illnesses, problems, deaths, disagreements, life's unexpected, nerves etc. (you name it).  Today as a I reflect, some of  these situations have come and I have not smoked.  No excuses, no illusions. Today is another day under my belt, I have been caring for a very sick relative in my home.  I will not smoke, I don't have to.  I have too much to loose. My life, my health, my dignity, my freedom, my quit.    I will never ever allow myself to be trapped by this addiction. My daddy says "never say never", but today I say never on my lips, never in my hand, in my lungs, on my tongue, in my nose, in my clothes.  I now know there is no reason to take that "one puff."  That one puff could be deadly. 

I am thankful that I can walk past a smoker and say to myself "I don't do that anymore." Not bragging but  I am thankful that I have not developed any type of breathing disease after smoking cigarettes long term.  I am thankful to be working towards a healthier lifestyle.  I am proud of me and tooting my own horn.  Toot! Toot! Enough was enough for me. 

How about you?  Have you had enough and are you willing never to "pick up." (that's what an addict says) again.  Blow your horn and TOOT!  Have a smoke free day.  I am enjoying my morning coffee WITHOUT a cigarette. I am a non smoker.

JACKIE1-25-15

Day 72

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 7, 2015

And I am okay.  Still smoke free.  Have a smoke free day. I am

Some days are easier that others.  We just have to find ways to make it through.  It has been proven to me that using this site as a resource is VERY VERY helpful. Thanks guys. You have taken me through some tough times. Have a smoke free day. I am a non smoker.

My solo went very well.  The smoker did not come.  That saved me from having to be concerned about her being around.  So it all worked out.  Today was the first time I had prepared for dinner guest since I quit smoking.  Association Association Association.  All around.  Realized how much I use to smoke when  preparing for events at my home.   Whew.  I know that essence of the act of smoking was there quite often.  But I haven't smoked.  Did not have to deal with a smoker.My granddaughter  loved her Easter Basket. Fantastic dinner. I even had a glass of wine.  The first one since my quit.  Well a half glass.  I haven't finished it.  Now that I am looking I have only had a few sips.  All in all in life there will be times when the association of doing things will cause you to think about what when where how you use to smoke.  I am thankful that it is going well and I did not succumb to the addiction.  I would have smoked after the song.  Smoked while cooking, smoked before everyone got here and smoked when everyone had left  I am saving myself.  Yeah.  Glad to be here.  One day at a time.;

Today is the day that I sing my solo.  I  will try to stay calm.  We are performing a major concert today at church.  One of my friends asked me if she could accompany me. She is a smoker. Ugh!!! (shame on me, I use to be one) lol  I have not told her that I have quit smoking.  So today I will stay on point and know thaI I can not be influenced to take one puff or I will be hooked again. This is the second time I will have been around someone that smokes since my quit.  The last time it was a little bit of a strain especially when they left my presence it was like they left something with me. (Spirits)? lol.  So here I am  again,  not on my lips, not in my hand, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my clothes and not in my nose.  This little poem is a reminder for me.  It has worked for me in a funny way. .I will ask my friend not to smoke around me please.  So here I go.  Talk to you guys later.  Happy Easter.  I am a non smoker today and forever more.  I am keeping my quit.   FREEDOM!!!!!!! Pray

P.S. My profile picture is the Easter basket I made for my granddaughter.

JACKIE1-25-15

Thanks

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 4, 2015

I appreciate all of the well wishes.  Thank you for your support.  May you all have a blessed weekend.  Now that time has past and have read your responses I am feeling better.  At first I did not know what I was feeling. I think the stress of the day was abundant and these were situations which I would have easily smoked, but I know now smoking does not help anything.  It would have only made it worse.  I would have been highly upset with myself. Glad I got through this one.  Since I don't smoke anymore. I had just had to deal with the emotions even if I did not understand what it was all about. Does this make any sense? lol I did not know exactly what I was going to do but it sure was not smoke.  I just wanted the feelings gone.  I need a nap been up since 4:00am.  Blog Blog.

thanks

Happy Resurrection Day.

I am a non smoker.

JACKIE1-25-15

It's the weekend'

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 4, 2015

Don't know why I am blogging because I am not sure of what I am feeling. Maybe a little apprehensive right now.  Just left choir rehearsal and my brain is a little drained but still trying to practice a solo  Yes, I sing in the choir.  I use to feel so bad because I smoked and knew I probably would sound better if I didn't.  I won't make excuses on how that happened but I am sure you  can quess....It only takes one puff. 

It has been 69 days smoke free. . Okay, so it's the weekend again and it is filled with the Easter Celebration.  Right now all I can do is take deep breathes.  It has been busy, preparing a Easter Basket for my granddaughter.  She isn't picky but I did not want it to be prepackaged but customized just for her.

Bottom line is NOPE.  Back to the basics.  Quit tools out and ready.  Will not be fooled.

JACKIE1-25-15

Day 66 Still Learning.

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 1, 2015

And still smoke free N>O>P>E>,  Yes, implementing some of the lessons learned .  Sometimes it takes a while to redo, relearn, rethink.  I have the tools, some of them took some practice to work effectively.  

1) When any thought associated with smoking enters my mind.  I LET IT GO immediately.

2) Don't always dwell on it trying to analyze in great depths of the why or what about it.  

3)  Practice makes perfect.

In the past I  put to much thought into this smoking thing.  The bottom line is I have quit and I am not going to smoke, I don't want to.  I can not imagine putting a cigarette in my mouth, let alone sucking the smoke.  Gosh!!!! I am saying this. I am a nonsmoker. Thank God for this site and the people here.

No excuses. My head is clear and  I am dealing with my true emotions, which is a good thing.  Feels good to know that if I get stressed or whatever, I wont use it as an excuse  to smoke.  Smoking does not make matters better , only worse.  With the good and the bad, I don't need to smoke. What a relief I dont have to worry whether I am going to pick up again.  Have a blessed smoke free day.