This morning I had my usual coffee and read the Ex Blogs. I also posted my 28 day quit. It should have been monumental but to me it was bitter sweet. As long as I have smoked I knew I still wasnt out of the woods, "so to speak" It's okay and I believe one day at a time but that wasn't what I was dealing with.
I had just read a blog that listed excuses people use not to quit smoking. I'll be honest my excuse was on the list. It may be vain but I did not want to gain weight. To start I had a strong conscience of not letting my eating get out of control. However, it did not work. In the first two weeks it seemed I was eating everyting in the house. So last week I cleared out all the junk food and bought fruits, veggies the healthy stuff.
After reading that blog, I decided to weigh myself, willing to accept whatever. Ugh! gained 4 lbs. Okay, so what am I going to do about this? No. I do not want to gain weight. & No. I do not want to smoke. A light bulb came on, "Jackie you are at a cross road. I just read focus on the quit not the weight. Easier said than done for me if you are obesessed about your weight as I am.
I could use this for an excuse and as probably had in the past. or I can grow up. So I put my big girl boots on and went for a walk. I walked two miles and had plenty of time to think. So many thoughts, the main one "I want my life back and not be controlled by a cigarette". Period. I didnt have to gasp for my breath. There was no pain in my chest. I could really breathe. As I walked each step got easier. By the time I had returned I felt a little lighter. That was enough for me, no question I am not going to smoke. I am going to walk and exercise. I am still on my way to recovery one day at at time. Every day we have a choice and I choose FREEDOM .
(Thanks Thomas)
