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JACKIE1-25-15

Hey just checking in

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 28, 2015

Day 33 and Still smoke free.  Haven't been on line very much today.  My eyes have become very irritated. I have to give them a rest.  Hope all is well.  Will be back after giving eyes a break from computer. I have been reading so much my eyes are so red ,uncomfortable and tired.  NOPE

JACKIE1-25-15

Good night guys and gals

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 26, 2015

Thanks for all your support , response, encouragement, laughs, and information today with the EXteam.  This non smoker is ready for another smoke free day. Jimmie I got your back, tj, I got the walk in. Bonnie B see you tomorrow. To the Elders "keep it coming", Peace out. Got it!  "It's what's between the ears".  lol Have a good night.

JACKIE1-25-15

The coffee thing

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 26, 2015

I am one of those people who LOVES coffee...hot, freshly ground and flavored.  Of course I listed it as one of my triggers so I refrained from drinking it when I first quit.  Then enough was enough, around week two I was going to have my coffee regardless. So to lessen my chances of going out to buy cigarettes, I put my PJ's on.  It worked.  I may have had an urge or two, I am not even sure.  Obviously, it was not life shattering.  Ever since I have been enjoying my coffee.  Sometimes while reading the blogs.  I am still smoke free after 32 days and look forward to many more. N.O.P.E.  So long story short.  The nicotine addict in me had me fooled that I had to have a cigarette with my coffee.  I must confess, now my coffee taste a WHOLE LOT BETTER without a cigarette.  Like the Elders say "it's what's between the ears".  True story.  The End.

Have a smoke free day, I am.

JACKIE1-25-15

Newbie Baby Quit

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 25, 2015

Okay Newbies, Dont forget what SKY GIRL says, make sure we pay attention to our baby quits. 

To all Newbies: If you did not get the memo go to SKY GIRL page and read. Urgent!

JACKIE1-25-15

Feeling Good 30 days in.

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 24, 2015

I did not think I would be posting again today but I just wanted to quickly say that smoke free for 30 days does help you mentally.  It says that I am on the right track.  Thank you all for your support. I am learning to "surf the urge...does make it easier.  Thanks again.  I can breathe better.  I feel better. I smell better. My skin looks better. My hair looks beautiful. I can really smile.  I am happy.  "I just don't do that anymore".  I am on top of the world right now. To all the other newbies here with me.  We can do this. Kick Butt!

On this day, I am telling myself "DON'T FEED IT!  Don't feed that addiction to nicotine.  30 Days clean.  Be watchful ,don't let my guard down be prepared and pray.  DON'T GIVE IN DON'T GIVE UP.  My motto for today. I HAVE NO FEAR.....................FREEDOM! With each breath that I take. Whatever it takes!

JACKIE1-25-15

Day 30...

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 24, 2015

Praise God!   Glad to be here another day among the land of the living. Also, thanks to my friends here at Ex team for your support and for the wealth of  information you all have made available for me to use to be smoke free one more day.   Again, today and every day  not a cigarette in my hand, not on my lips, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my nose, not in my clothes.  Today I choose FREEDOM.  Have a smoke free day, I am. jk2.24.15  Amen

JACKIE1-25-15

Day 29

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 23, 2015

No matter what happens, on this day smoking a cigarette is not an option.  If don't succeed in anything else in life, I will succeed in not smoking..... one day at a time.

Have a smoke free day, I am

 

jk 2/23/15

JACKIE1-25-15

Crossroad

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 22, 2015

This morning I had my usual coffee and read the Ex Blogs.  I also posted my 28 day quit.  It should have been monumental but to me it was bitter sweet.  As long as I have smoked I knew I still wasnt out of the woods, "so to speak"  It's okay and I believe one day at a time but that wasn't what I was dealing with. 

I had just read a blog that listed excuses people use not to quit smoking.  I'll be honest my excuse was on the list.  It may be vain but I did not want to gain weight. To start I had a strong conscience of not letting my eating get out of control.  However, it did not work. In the first two weeks it seemed I was eating everyting in the house.  So last week I cleared out all the junk food and bought fruits, veggies the healthy stuff.

After reading that blog, I decided to weigh myself, willing to accept whatever.  Ugh! gained 4 lbs.  Okay, so what am I going to do about this?  No. I do not want to gain weight. & No. I do not want to smoke.  A light bulb came on, "Jackie you are at a cross road.  I just read focus on the quit not the weight.  Easier said than done for me  if you are obesessed about your weight as I am.

I could use this for an excuse and as probably had in the past. or I can grow up.  So I put my big girl boots on and went for a walk.  I walked two miles and had plenty of time to think. So many thoughts, the main one "I want my life back and not be controlled by a cigarette". Period.  I didnt have to gasp for my breath.  There was no pain in my chest.  I could really breathe.  As I walked each step got easier.  By the time I had returned I felt a little lighter.   That was enough for me, no question I am not going to smoke.  I am going to walk and exercise.  I am still on my way to recovery one day at at time.   Every day we have a choice and I choose FREEDOM .

(Thanks Thomas)

Coming up on day 28.  Feeling good, more days to come. 

Thank you all for your support.

Have a great smoke free day, I am.

 

Peace

Came to the Exteam site  I was going to just type NOPE and started reading some of Thomas's blogs.  Forgot all about the urge to smoke.  Thank you Thomas your information is incredible.

It is early, thought I would log on to see what is going on.  I will read some blogs while having my coffee.

Just wanted to say this day is another smoke free day.  Up Up and Away!

Have a smoke free day.

I am

Peace

Do you remember where you were when you smoked your last cigarette?

I had planned my quit date: January 23rd, my birthday.  Instead, it was two days later January 25th, approximately 3:35pm.  I was sitting and puffing in the garage.  My spot.  I looked at the cigarette and knew at that moment what it felt like to be  , Pardon My French "stupid"  Angry at myself, thinking:at this point in my life still smoking, knowing the danger and still doing it.   Talking out loud to myself, I said "Ridiculous!"  "Time Waster!" "Don't even get anything from it."  I remember blowing the smoke and fanning it out of my way, I wanted it over with, extinguished it.  Sprayed the usual air freshner and left.

I am glad I remember the day, the hour, and how I felt.  I am not sure how often I think about it but I take a deep breath...of relief.  Initially I was a little apprehensive about going into the garage.  But you have to do what you got to do.   Scanned to make sure there was no cigarette residual.  A few butts, got rid of them. No, the garage was not a trigger.  Just a reminder where it ended.  Another sigh of relief. Yes, I am no different than anyone else I have had withdrawal sypmtoms, cravings, urges, triggers whatever you want to call it,  but none so great that I need to smoke again.  Been there, done that, not doing it anymore. I have to say Thank God and take another deep breath.

Where were you?

Have another smoke free day, I am.

 

Peace

JACKIE1-25-15

Just one more.

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 19, 2015

Last night I was up until the early hours of the morning, watching some Celeb Apprentice espisodes.  As I sat there I was thinking how comfortably gratifying and calming it was that I did not have to focus on when or where I would be taking a smoke break.  So let's get to the one more thought.

It has been 25 days since I told myself just one more, or this is the last one, or I'll do it when.... my grandson is born (16 yrs ago) ...when my granddaughter is born (10 yrs).  Oh, this is the last one because I am the only one in the office that smokes.  Just this last pack, telling myself, I'll do it for my New Years  resolution.  Just one more then I will do it because my doctor advises it.  No more !....because my husband died of heart disease. Of course, this is the last one because they are starting to cost a lot more. I could go on and on with this just one more.

Yes, I have had a few short quits here and there, but all for the wrong reasons.  I finally had my ah ha moment when I decided to do it for ME. My quit date was my birthday.  I was only two days late and it has been a great birthday gift to me from me. .  The thought that it has taken this long almost makes me want to cry.   That's okay because with this quit  I am learning to care about ME.,............................ finally I have had the last one.

 

Peace

JACKIE1-25-15

We All

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 18, 2015

We all are having our test during these storms.  But guess what? These storms won't always last and soon We all will be looking at spring flowers and smelling roses.  I myself am dealing with a heater crisis and it will not be solved today.  I'll have to make do until the snow melts.  

This would be one of those times that I would think that I need to smoke.  Guess again, I won't.  Yes my heating bill may be higher but smoking isn't going to change that.  I just needed to come online and read a few blogs and do a few deep breathes.  Smoking is not going to fix the problem.  Maybe I'll go shovel some snow and be able to get out of the house and take some pictures. Or just take a walk, I have so many other options than to smoke.  Thanks for listening.  Breathe, just breathe, just breathe. Moving right along.

JACKIE1-25-15

Just thinking

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 15, 2015

No. I do not have all the answers.  But I am giving this quit 100% not the 50 or 75% before.  The difference is I am more  educated about nicotine addictions. I am older and don't want to be smoking for the rest of my life and feeling miserable and embarrassed that I am still doing it.   I am  Not just trying to quit but reprogramming my brain and the way that I think that I do not have to or want to smoke.  Telling myself No, as often as necessary. Riding the wave of cravings, knowing that they will pass.  Yes, I was worried about gaining weight.  So what I told myself.  I always worry about gaining weight whether I smoke or not.  I do feel a peace that I can make it.  Not an anxiety but a confidence that this process will become easier as time pass and I won;t think about it  as much.  I still have to focus on things to do if a craving should appear but Not scared. I won't fail.

JACKIE1-25-15

Hindsight 20/20

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 15, 2015

I guess I could whine and complain about Valentine's Day,but I chose not too.  I am alive,,,another day on this planet.  Breathing, living, more than others that have already gone before me.  Yes, we are all quitting, but it is not the end of the world. I don't think anyone has died due to withdrawal.   It is the beginning. Smoke free, no constant head swirling, coughing,  hiding, denying, lieing, craving, slaving, and anything else you want to add to this crazy addictive list.  Yes crazy,lets be real. Come out of the illusion that it is the end of the world.  Renew your mind. WE havent lost anything at all.  In fact we have gained another day on this planet.  Be thankful.  Stop mentally dragging yourselves down because you are not smoking. We have been dealing with a deadly poison.  Lift yourselves up because  you are not.  It is in our hands now.  No turning back. We have been here before and we have learned from our mistakes. Please don't think I don't understand at times it can be hard  and everybody's quit is not the same but together we can do this, yes we can. Smoke free for Life.

Peace

Good morning, it's Sunday.   I overslept and missed getting to church.  It is very cold outside with a wind that is so fierce it is taking no prisoners.  I am sure being outside would not be good for my sinuses.   I am thankful to say that I have made it another day #21.  Glad that I no longer wake up to a cigarette.  Glad that I have saved a few dollars. $72.00 total. For the most part  I have been enjoying my quit.  It has been easier than what I thought.  I am glad that I finally used this site after registering 2 years ago.  Anyway my quit is better than smoking.   It is a relief, no more agonizing over smoking.  No more !  When I say I am done, I am done.  To all my new friends, thank you for your unselfish support.  Have a good smoke free day, I am.

Peace

JACKIE1-25-15

Good and Bad

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 14, 2015

There are good days and bad days.  We have to deal with both.  There is good help and bad help we don't have to deal with both.  Just know the difference.

JACKIE1-25-15

Done with it!

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 14, 2015

Yes I have quit before and failed.  This time is different. I have learned a lot more than I did before.  No hypnosis, no patches, no herbs, teas, etc.  I am not going to put another cigarette in my hand.  I don't care how many cravings, triggers, nml. I am done.  I have had enough.  I am not going to ever light up again. Mind over matter. I am a non smoker.

JACKIE1-25-15

#19 Still kicking!

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 13, 2015

Good morning.  I don't have a lot to say this morning.  At least I don't think I do.  Just reading the blogs and drinking my coffee.  Yeah, my coffee the one thing that is suppose to be one of my triggers.  This morning while making my coffee I said to the trigger to be gone because no matter how hard  you come  I am not going to smoke.  So you are wasting your time coming at me.  I didn't have to raise my voice this time.  So far no craving.  I guess I ran the thought away. Just think  it  IS all in the mind.  We are who we think we are NONSMOKERS.  That's me. today and forever.   Not on my lips, not in my hand, not in my lungs, not on my tongue, not in my nose or stinking my clothes. Yes,  I can do this cleansing.  Have a good smoke free day also.

 

Peace

Had a good day.  Still smoke free day #18... Still learning.  Thanks for all the information on vaping.

Slept most of the day dealing with medication for sinus issue.  I am okay. It is all good. Hope your day was smoke free also.

See you tomorrow.  Peace

JACKIE1-25-15

No title, just THOUGHTS

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 11, 2015

Good morning Ex community.  I hope you all slept as well as I.  Waking up and not wanting a cigarette is refreshing, but I wonder,"am I going to have any battles today?  Starting off the day with stretches and execise. (just mentally right now)

It's coffee time and of course I wonder is this going to be a trigger. It hasn't so I have my ususal cup.  Then I start to think;(it's that little man on my shoulder) what would happen if I went down in the garage where I use to smoke with my coffee, would I want a cigarette?   I guess I was thinking about testing myself. How foolish!    Then I thought that is like setting yourself up for a trigger.  Pow!.. shoot myself in the foot..  After thought, it is very cold down there. Dah!  Why  even think that.  Then a light bulb came on....this is how it started 44 years ago. CURIOSITY, MYSTERY, the "ACT' of being GROWNUIP.

I read a blog the other day that to stop smoking is to grow up.  So today I am going to grow up.  I haven't been into the pledge thing, but today I pledge: I will not allow anything to cause me to smoke a cigarette.  Hopefully I won't  have a lot of battles to fight today, but I know I have the victory.  That" first one". Not in my hand, not  on my lips, not in my lungs.  I want to say "hips "but that is about food. lol  I did take a break from writing this blog to do my exercise .

Have a great smoke free day, we deserve it.

Thanks for being here.

 For the most part things have been okay with my quit smoking process.  I have not been having a lot of withdrawal symptoms, not any to really squak about.  A little insomnia, etc.  But today #16 is different.  Up early, coffee, exercise the norm for the morning.  But I had this feeling that I could not identify.  It wasn't this great urge to smoke.  Some  low level  desire?  A empty space in my brain that wasn't getting feed?  Another receptor demolished?  Was this feeling going to progress or go away? What was it? Too much coffee?  How do I handle it?  Was I going to allow what was going on cause me frustration? This wasn't some strong mind wrenching urge to smoke.  I believe it was my brain trying to tell me that it needed and wanted some NICOTINE. I use to fall for this.. lol and I do mean( Lots of Laughs) because I will not succumb to this delusion that I need a "fix" because I don't.  I thought about how I use to run around looking for my cigarettes, getting frustrated because I could not find them.  I kept calm and looked around and got busy, telling myself withdrawal (cleansing that's good)  The thoughts/emptiness went away. And now I can count #16 no sweat. HALT...I think I was hungry.  SMH(shaking my head)

Peace

And that's okay.  

Today I have to say.

Not in my hands

Not on my lips

Not in my lungs

Not on my tongue

Not on my brain

And not a strain

Not in my nose

Not on my clothes

Not in my hair.

Have money to spare. 

I am Happy and that's the truth.

Goodnight all

Since I quit smoking I have basically been by myself for the most part. For several days I had been pondering what would I do if I got upset.  Previously when I quit and I used stress and anger as an excuse to smoke.  I learned from that and did not want it to happen again.

I had been reading the Allen Car's Easy to Quit Smoking Book as some of you had advised.  When addressing stress it stated that nonsmokers get upset and that having a cigarette was not the answer to the problem.  So today I proved the theory correct."being stressed is not an excuse to light up"  We have to channel that energy to solve/handle the problem and not smoke.  NOPE

Well today I got upset.  I could feel my adrenaline rising.  Saying to myself I knew this time would come.  Before this would be my nicotine addiction seducing me to smoke again.  You know the rubbish that goes in your head. (just one, wont' hurt).  I use to think that smoking calmed my nerves.  It doesn't it makes matters worse.  I have to be informed and prepared.

I recognize now a new conviction and understanding of this addiction.  So my mind is made up that I will not allow anything to be a reason to smoke. Or better yet will not use stress as an excuse to smoke.   So instead of verbalizing my anger and creating a scene, so I would  run down to the corner store and buy a pack.  I took action, solved the problem without lighting up. 

There are so many ways to skin a cat and being angry and smoking is not two of them.

Thank God for a new attitude.

Thanks Exer's for your foresight and advising me to read Allen Carr's book.  I keep it on my computer to REFRESH myself.

JACKIE1-25-15

Hallelujah 14 days.

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 8, 2015

I give the highest praise to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for allowing me to see and breathe this day. I am so happy.  I get to transfer another $24.00 to my savings account. Yeah!!!!!!. How about a stick of gum.

I don't have to search to find where I left them. Or hunt for a lighter that I just had in my hand that I lost.  I don't have to run to the store in the middle of the night to buy a pack.  I don't have to worry about how I smell,  I don't have to worry about my gray hair being yellow.  I dont have to spend the coins out of my money jar.  I don't have to breathe in that smoke and wondering why I am doing it.  I don't have to hide them when company comes.  No more  constantly spraying air freshners and burning scented candles and spraying myself and my clothes to make sure there is no permanent odor. Washing my hands so not to smell it. Its over. I am free.  No more rituals of having to have one at a certain time or place.  Each day I am learning to live without them. Finally It's over.

JACKIE1-25-15

Another Battle Won

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 7, 2015

Today is a beautiful day.  My goal was to get outdoors and work in the yard.  Of course, I thought when I was smoking, I would have a cig before, during and after. This would always be a time for me to smoke. For some reason  i prolonged going out there. Okay, saying to myself,you have got to do this, but how?  Breathe Deep was my mind response. So I grabbed a bottle of water for my before, a soda, for my during and some pasta for my after. This task would have equaled at least three cigs or more.  I enjoyed being able to breathe deep and not succumb to the desire to smoke.  I told myself NO and meant it.  I have come too far to turn around now.   It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. Thank God for another smoke free day. #13    I really enjoyed the outdoors this time.  My head feels good.

JACKIE1-25-15

My Story

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 5, 2015

As I look back the first time I smoked was because I was lonely.  My fiancee had just entered the Army and was going to Vietnam.  Good excuse huh?  He came back he was already a smoker so now we both smoked.  He smoked a lot more than I.  Smoked everywhere except church. lol Whew.  That was over 45 years ago and I am at this point AGAIN trying to quit. Things have changed, now days you don't smoke when you get pregnant.  Back in the day you were allowed to smoke no more than 10 cigarettes a day. . 

Well moving forward I  tried to quit.  Tried hypnosis twice. The first time did not  last long especially when I just wanted to smoke or found my husbands cigs hid in the bathroom.   I had tried on my own with no success.  Read books, How to Quit and Lose Weight. Helped but still smoked. The final straw, my husband passed of heart disease. I have been afraid ever since.  My doctor rx the wellbutrin, was successful for almost two years.  Then I started dating someone who smoked, that was a mistake.   In between I have been to smoking cessation classes and joined this site over two years ago.  Tried on my own but when i hit the highest stress level I revert back to smoking.  So my main trigger is getting so upset that i am blowing steam and can not control this trigger.  I resolve not to allow myself to get in to situations that will cause me that much anger that someone would have control over my emotions-actions.  I have to keep telling myself this and NO> .  So this time #IAMGONNAMAKEIT.

JACKIE1-25-15

One Battle at a time.

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 5, 2015

This is my 11th day... seems a lot longer but it is only a short time.  I have made some hurdles and last night was one of them. The way I fought this battle had to be creative because  I wanted some fried chicken and some coffee.  I knew that these two things were triggers for me. I said to myself that I was going to fight it no matter what because I love coffee and fried chicken and I was going to have it.  To reinforce me not to go buy any cigs I put my pjs on.  Yeah!  Go ahead and laugh.  I figured this would mimimize me going out to buy any cigs if I had a hard time fighting the urge.  I had my coffee and I had my fried chicken and I did not smoke. I used a tooth pick, chewing and slurped up the coffee like there was no tomorrow.  Woke up this morning and decided to post this and have a cup of coffee.  It may not have made sense to anyone else but me. But I woke up another day smoke free.